Getting Out or Dying Trying
by C. Night
Summary: I, Harry Potter, am trapped. But by who: Voldemort or Dumbledore? I wish I knew the answer to that. Now I am just putting my magical skills to use and fighting to get back to Hogwarts, because this is a battle I win or... I die. Post OotP.
1. Demented Vision

Author: C. Night

Rating: PG-13

Category: Action/Adventure

Disclaimer: Anything that you, Harry Potter fan that you are, recognize does not belong to me nor do I claim credit for it. So all you lawyers trying to pick a fight with me... put 'em up cuz I didn't do nuttin & my main squeeze Big-D is in da house to defend me! Dudley Dursey puts up fists, looks around at the lawyers surrounding him, turns to C. Night and whispers "you do know that I don't exist right?" C Night gets shocked expression, gasps and turns to face the insulted lawyers. "Well.... er... ya see..."

Note: I think I am pretty clear with it but just incase people get confused:

'...' indicates thinking &

"..." indicates talking. 

Title: Getting Out or Dying Trying 

Chapter 1: Demented Vision 

December 23rd. You'd think that was a normal day. Ok, maybe not exactly normal, I'll give you the fact that it's pretty close to Christmas, Hanukkah, and all that jazz, but other than that. It's normal, right? WRONG.

December 23rd is, in fact, the day Harry Potter will die. Alright well since I am Harry Potter you could just say I'm being very pessimistic, but no I really think I am going to die today.

I try to move again, but I can't. The air around me is getting very, very cold. I feel my lungs, actually it's more like my soul, freeze and as usual the chilling voice of my mother comes to my ears, I hear her more clearly now than I ever have before. 

She screams "Not Harry! Please...have mercy... mercy!" 

I wish I could tell her that her screams are not needed, that on that fateful October night I would survive, but my mother. My loving mother- she would not. 

Suddenly her screams blend into the softly hissing voice of Lord Voldemort. I am back in the graveyard, back in my fourth year. 

"Bow to death Harry," his voice commands and even now chills race down my spine. Even more smoothly than the last time the terrible memories seem to shift. Now it is my own voice I hear. My own voice screaming out in denial, "HE-IS-NOT-DEAD! SIRIUS!" 

Then for the first time ever in my experience with dementors, they bring a vision to my eyes. I can actually see the black veil wavering in an unseen wind before my eyes. I am overcome with rage. "NO! Damn it I will not let this happen to me. AHHH!" 

In some kind of fury I manage to pry my hands from the ropes magically put there to bind them. "Well tough luck it isn't happening today," I snarl aloud. 

With my hands now free I am able to reach for my wand in my wrist holster after all as Moody advised me many, many times over this past summer 'the best place to have your wand is where dumb ass'?? At your fingertips. 

I flick my wrist under my robes about 6 times before I realize that although Moody's strategy may be great in actual combat, when you are a prisoner having your wand strapped to the inside of your wrist makes it ridiculously easy for your captors to find it... and take it. I am now wand-less. 

"Well that's just wonderful," I say under my breath as I untie my feet with my free hands. I fumble with the ties and they knot under my trembling fingers. The dementors (and I know there are a lot because of the effect they are already having on me even from this distance) are getting closer and I am still tied to a damn chair. 

Suddenly I realize something, "I am Harry bloody Potter! I just magically blew the ropes off my freakin hands and here I am making knots around my ankles like some kind of bloody summer- camper!" 

Focusing my magic on the ropes I practically leap from the chair once the ropes are gone from my ankles. 'Yeah, I'm free but I am still without a wand and about to face a horde of dementors, all of which seem to be focused on me,' I think. 

I look around me desperately trying to figure out how to escape the... cell? 'Yes it appears to be a cell' that I am trapped in. There aren't even any windows... just how exactly did I get in here with no windows or doors? 

'What the hell did they do throw me in freakin' Azkaban?' I wonder. But then I realize Azkaban would be a lot older than this place. Wherever I am, I notice, has stone floors and walls, but they look fairly clean. I happen to know for a fact that when stones and bricks like the ones on these walls get a few years old they are very hard to clean. I would know that seeing as Aunt Petunia once volunteered me to clean those on the neighbor's home in order to get rid of me for one of Dudley's birthday parties. Trust me, it took me all of that day and then another three to finish. 

So these bricks were pretty new, but that led to other questions like who was building rooms with bricks anymore? I mean we have new building materials these days, my neighbor's house was ancient and they had been living in it for years... that's the only reason they still had bricks. 

But here... well perhaps this room is a specially made prison cell. Maybe the rest of the building isn't like this... in fact this room may have been magically added just to hold me. That would explain the no doors and windows thing... if they just built the room around me. And... 

That also means that if I were to try to blast a hole into the wall (with my magic of course) I wouldn't be met with more bricks but with linoleum, perhaps even wood. 

Suddenly I am overcome with a vision of my mother- her brilliant green eyes wide with terror, red hair ablaze and messily strewn across her face, her mouth open in a silent scream. 

I want to cry at the sight. I find myself gasping and with a start realize that I have fallen to the floor. What kind of dementors were these with the power to bring visions of my mother's dead body to my mind. Visions of a dead body which I hadn't even seen in real life... or at least don't remember seeing. 

Quite abruptly I decide that I do not want to stick around to examine these dementors. Even though they can't really reach me to suck out my soul seeing as there is no way into this room... but still. So, I focus all of my magic on the ceiling above me. After about a minute of raw magic focused at one spot I realize several things. First, my analysis of the age of the bricks around me can easily be disregarded because of one thing- magic. Who knows how long these bricks are seeing as they can easily be cleaned with a well placed grime removal spell or a good 'Scourgify'. 

Thinking of that spell reminds me of my father and although over the past few months I have come to realize that you have to take the good and the bad sides of people you look up to, thoughts of his treatment of Snape still get me mad. 

Thoroughly distracted from my current situation, I feel myself getting angry yet again over my father's actions. Who was he to treat Snape that way? Enemy or not seeing my father treat Snape just about as well as Lucius Malfoy treated Dobby will forever infuriate me. 

These thoughts in mind I slam the palm of my hand into the wall next to me. 

"OW!" I cry out in pain and I feel my eyes stinging as I clutch my throbbing hand to my chest. 

Absorbed in my pain I am nearly shocked out of my skin when I hear a soft voice moan, "Ow!" back in my direction. 

Alarmed I rise of my position on the cold floor and turn to the wall I had just slammed my hand into. Shockingly, I find that in my rage I had created a rather large hole in the wall. Sending a silent bit of thanks to my dad for being a big enough prick to inspire the rage it took to make that hole in me I step closer to the hole and thus closer to the mystery voice. 

"Hello," I whisper and to my astonishment the sound that comes out of my mouth is a low and throaty hiss.

It seems that although I did not consciously know I was addressing a snake somewhere in my subconscious I knew to address the creature in its own tongue. "Come out my friend," I whisper to the snake as I feel the dementors draw ever nearer. "Please come out for I swear that no harm shall come to thee whilst I am near."

Over time and through some very informative experiments I have discovered that addressing a snake in both very quiet tones and an older version of speech (or at least a more broken form of speech) was more effective in getting them to work with you... or have them take you as their master. 'If only that would work with Voldemort' I chuckle as an image of myself quoting Shakespeare at a swooning Voldemort comes to mind. 

I can feel the dementors stop in their approach, most likely due to my chuckling so I continue conjuring images of Voldemort and myself speaking in Elizabethan terms to laugh at. 

Laughter, it seems, is familiar to the snake I am trying to get to approach me for the beautiful beast peeks its head out from the hole at me. The snake is unlike any other I have seen. Jet black with greenish eyes with a some red and silver scales on its under side the snake reminds me of myself. If the color of the scales had anything to do with it anyway...

"Hello my friend," I say in casual tones to the creature as it slowly slides out of the holes. "Does this place belong to you?"

In my dealings with snakes I have also learned that they consider themselves the rulers of whatever dwelling they habitually stayed in. To them humans were simply some beasts they allowed to reside in _their_ home. 

The snake rose as if to strike me but then responded, "I? Tis not I. Master Neolik. Estine, master? Not master, no. Estine endeavored to be master but... no not Estine. Estine not fit... no -"

I was fiercely reminded of Dobby in the manner of this snake. Which in itself was very odd. Snakes, or the ones I had dealt with, were usually fairly submissive but definitely not overly so. But then there was something about this snake... this Estine as he called himself. Something that screamed out to me, but I couldn't figure out what it was. 

Once again I was struck with a vision this time of a grave stone being shone on by the moon. The light eerily highlighted the name TOM RIDDLE and I couldn't repress the shuddered which racked through my body. 

As soon as I regained control of my eyesight I noticed that Estine the snake had stopped rambling as he had been throughout all of my thinking. Instead the snake had its white-ish green eyes focused on me.

"Human not well." Estine hissed slowly. "Stay away from unwell. Must stay away..."

"No wait!" I cried out at the snake which was turning away from me and facing back toward the hole through which it had come.

In a flash the snake had turned its head back and faced me. Once I had its attention I pleaded with the snake for help.

"Estine please, please help me get out of here. How did you get here? Are there pipes?" I asked the snake desperately. 

I knew that the snake couldn't have just crawled though a brick wall, and who would know this place better than a creature that lived in its walls.

Estine lifted himself back up and once again looked into my eyes. "Fear" the snake hissed slowly. "Bringers of fear approach. Human must listen. Estine come from flanking room. Wide room with high & long look but no- goers. Human must crush wall and get to flanking room. The bringers of fear cannot enter the room with look but no-goers." 

I was thoroughly confused by some of the snake's language but I understood enough that I knew I had to get into the next room. But how? 

Remembering the way I had created the hole I began to focus on all of the memories I had which inspired great anger in me. Standing, I faced the wall with the hole on it and placed my still-aching palm out facing the hole. I then shifted my body so that my stomach and torso were facing the wall perpendicular to the one with the hole and my feet were set on the ground one a good deal in front of the other. My right palm facing the hole and my left bent at the elbow so my hand was near my left ear, I closed my eyes and concentrated on anger. 

I could feel something warm developing in my left hand and once I felt I had it in my control I threw it at the wall with the hole in it. That was with my eyes still closed... cuz to be honest I was kinda afraid to look at whatever the hell it was I just made in my hand. 

Slightly frightened by the loud noise created, I jumped and slowly opened my eyes. The hole is bigger... but not nearly large enough for me to fit through.

Estine seems very happy about my progress and he hisses happily from his spot in the corner. With a jolt I realize that I actually heard Estine hissing and not speaking so I turn to him. 

As he slithers in joyous circles on the floor I realize that Estine is probably making noises that for humans would be the equivalent of "Yay! or Whoopee!". After all these are not really words but just sounds to express joy and I can practically feel Estine's happiness radiating off him. 

Looking back at the hole I am not nearly as happy as Estine, it's not large enough and I am starting to get tired. Wand-less magic isn't exactly the easiest thing to keep up and I had been hurling... Merlin knows how much of my magic at a wall for a little while now. 

I decided that instead of thinking randomly angry thoughts at the wall I should focus on one. But the problem was though I had been plenty angry during my 16 years of life I really didn't have one particularly furious memory. Except for that time in 3rd year with Sirius but that just seems sort of ridiculous now... and there was a whole bunch of times last year... but those just make me sad looking back.

Then I remember one time I was more angry than I had ever been in my life. It had been last year. We had been in Dumbledore's office getting ready to go to 12 Grimmauld Place to wait for news on Mr. Weasley's condition in the hospital when I had simply looked at Dumbledore and grew furious- but wait! That was Voldemort's anger. Voldemort's fury at Dumbledore. Not my own... but who's to say I can't use it. 

So I turned and got into my 'Anger Throwing' position as I began to refer to it in my mind. Legs in a line one pretty far out in front of the other, one palm out in front facing the wall with the ever growing hole (more to keep my balance than anything) and the other bent at the elbow with the palm near my ear. And then I focused. 

I remembered the portkey I had been about to take that day in Dumbledore's office. I remembered looking at that blackened kettle as Dumbledore counted to three slowly. I remembered getting the urge to look up at him just to see if he would continue with his stupid and cruel game of not looking at me. And I remembered when our eyes met. 

Fury, anger, intense boiling rage, hatred, vile man, disgusting terrible power which must be crushed... CRUSHED! CURSE HIM! DIE! DIE! 

Suddenly I realized I was on the floor. Some where in between throwing all of my magic and all of my energy at that wall and somewhere lost in the memory of that day when I was caught in such a raging force of hatred I had collapsed. 

My eyes were closed and I felt something cold on my left hand which felt as though an inferno was blazing upon it. I sighed aloud at the cool touch, and opened my eyes. 

Estine. Beautiful snake that he was had slid over and very gently curled himself around my hand. 

"Master is finished. Flanking room open. Master must go to room. Bringers of fear very very close," Estine hissed at me. 

As I struggled to my feet I wondered when I had become 'Master' instead of 'Human' but just brushed it aside. Estine was right after all. The dementors- the bringers of fear that is- were dangerously close. It was all I could do to keep my eyes focused on what was in front of me instead of letting them drift to the visions of terror lingering on the sides of my mind. 

It was time to get out of this damned cell... 

~*~*~*~

Author (C. Night) Notes: Ok well this was originally going to be a nice little one shot thing but somehow Estine got more long winded than I thought he would and Harry seemed to want to discuss his muggle next door neighbors and their choice of brick over linoleum. And I also got sorta tired lol. Let me know if you want me to continue by reviewing please. I have a pretty good idea of where I am going and this "one shot" could get to be a good couple of chapters if you want to read it so let me know. And if you were looking for Dumbledore he will be in this but not for a while yet... after all Harry still has to get out of the damned box. 

~*~*~*~


	2. Fluidness of Motion

Author: C. Night

Rating: PG-13

Category: Action/Adventure

Disclaimer: Anything that you, Harry Potter fan that you are, recognize does not belong to me nor do I claim credit for it. So all you lawyers trying to pick a fight with me... put 'em up cuz I didn't do nuttin & my main squeeze Big-D is in da house to defend me! Dudley Dursey puts up fists, looks around at the lawyers surrounding him, turns to C. Night and whispers "you do know that I don't exist right?" C. Night gets shocked expression, gasps and turns to face the insulted lawyers. "Well.... er... ya see..."

Note: I think I am pretty clear with it but just incase people get confused:

'...' indicates thinking &

"..." indicates talking. 

Title: Getting Out or Dying Trying 

Chapter 2: Fluidness of Motion

I slowly walked over to the hole and happily saw that I could definitely fit into this, but... what Estine had somehow neglected to mention was that the "flanking room" was gigantic and that the room that I was in was probably around twenty five feet above the floor of the next room.

I groaned and wished I had my wand. I simple Wingardium Leviosa and I would be floating gently down to the bottom of the room, but now... I would have to climb. 

Estine who seemed to have not yet realized my predicament happily hissed, "Master and Estine go now. Bringers of fear come and Master gone, gone, gone!" 

"Yes Estine," I hissed back slowly "Let's go." 

I figured when someone is so freakin happy... who am I to bust their bubble. He would realize the problem soon enough anyway. 

"You go first," I hissed gesturing to the hole and then the snake.

Estine seemed to get the idea for he then slid out of the hole and slid across the wall. I had never wished I was a snake or bird Angimus more than when I began that climb down the wall. 

It was hard, but I found myself very thankful that the walls were made of brick and that I had my trainers on instead of my school shoes. 

After a little bit I found myself getting into a groove, slowly inserting my hands into the biggest crevices in the wall, then moving my feet down to other little holes... tedious but effective.

Plus I had my own little cheering squad. Estine seemed to realize my predicament... being human and all (and without magic) and had decided that I needed someone to congratulate me every time I managed to get a firm hold and go a little faster.

Annoying? Yes. Effective? Yeah actually I did start to want to go faster just to hear that damned snake hissing his congrats. My theory is that it was because during my childhood I was so deprived of encouragement and positive expressions that now at sixteen I found myself trying to make up for lost time... with a snake no less.

The life I live... honestly!

Anyway... after well, way too long I got to the bottom and with a joyous cry my trainers had hit the floor. 

Finally, I took a good look at the room around me spotting one thing that practically made me cry with joy... a door... a huge set of double doors almost as big as those in the Great Hall back at school. 

I ran over to them- Estine quickly following after me- and tried to wrench them open. After struggling for a few minutes I realized that this wasn't going to work. And Damn it I was not about to kill myself trying to blast the damn thing open with wand-less magic. So I examined the room.

With a start I finally realized what the hell "high & long look but no- goers" (as Estine had put it) were. Windows. There were huge windows in the room. They appeared to be made of stained glass, but I couldn't really be sure. There was a bit of morning sunlight shining through the windows but as it was probably very, very early I couldn't see anything with that light source. 

The room went up so high that I couldn't make out the ceiling, but I knew that if I wanted to get out I'd have to see. 

"Estine," I said turning to the snake which was resting at my ankles, "are there any lights in here?"

"Fire lights on walls but now no fire," was Estine's confusing answer. 

I looked around yet again and noticed that there were indeed candleholders lining the walls... but no fire. 

"Damn it, this is impossible," I say aloud and when Estine looks at me startled I realize that I must have been speaking English. 

Suddenly I hear a noise from above me. My head shoots up and I open my eyes wide in an attempt to see what is up there. I hear the noise again and this time I recognize it as the sound of someone or something whizzing through the air and then hitting the ground. 

The "zzzzztt" noise is repeated around 10 times and I find myself picking Estine up off the floor and running toward the door again. 

But before I reach it I heard a spell coming at me. I couldn't hear the words said by my attacker, but by the red light I would say it was a stupefy. 

I turn away from the door, realizing that being in a corner is making it even easier to attack me. I walk quickly and quietly desperately trying to hear where my attackers are and wishing that the sun would rise faster. 

Suddenly Estine hisses urgently, "Behind Master!"

And without even thinking about it I duck and swipe my feet along the ground behind me. My attacker yells out startled and the fool drops his wand. I snatch it up quickly and raising it up to the ceiling I scream "Ardeo Lumnos".

The spell is a bit harder with a wand that isn't my own, but still takes effect wonderfully. The room is lit up and I see that the ceiling was probably around 10 feet above the hole I had come out of. The ceiling was also seemingly made of glass as were the many windows. 

I also note with alarm that I have about 9 attackers (not including the moron whose wand I am now using) and that they are slowly forming a circle around me. 

Acting quickly I begin to shoot spells wildly Estine hissing every now and then to let me know of an approach from behind.

After a few minutes I realize that I am getting no where. Each time I stun one of my attackers another simply wakes their companion and they continue to fight. I feel them beginning to get very close to me and I start to panic. These are not death eaters like those I fought last year in the Department of Mysteries. These are dueling machines which seem to be able to find my weaknesses in spell casting and use them against me. 

For instance I have never been that great at conjuring objects from thin air so any time I do so to make an object to obstruct their paths they crush it easily or hurl it back at me with a banishing charm, knowing that I cannot control the object well enough to stop it. I continue to be forced to duck and dodge my own conjured objects until I give up on it. 

I have to move. I have to run. I have to escape. And suddenly I feel the animal wake within me. My Anigmus form as McGonagall and I discovered together over the summer has a funny way of manifesting when I need it most. I feel the sleek black panther fighting for dominance over my human mind and I decide to give in. 

The shift takes all of my navy blue clad attackers by surprise. 'Didn't know I could do that now did you?' I think coyly as I raise my hand er- paw to strike. I lash out swiping down three of my assailants in one blow. 

'Those wounds will take more than an Enervate to get rid of' I think. 

The remaining 7 aggressors (the one whose wand I have decided to join the rumble) back up slowly but one behind me Estine warns me has raised their wand. With my cat like reflexes I dodge the red light and pounce on my attacker. With my claws buried in her chest I hear the woman cry out in pain.

'That will teach you to mess with Harry Potter... the panther version that is.'

Deciding that I've had enough I call Estine to me (it is much easier to do when we are both animals) and have him climb on my back. He seems a bit frightened to come too close to my form but when he looks at my green eyes (the panther's are even more striking than my own... or so says McGonagall) he appears calmed and slithers upon my back. 

My attackers seem to be preoccupied with their wounds or the wounds of their comrades but one manages to shot an impediment charm at me which slows what would have been a full panther sprint to the opposite side of the huge room. I still get their fast enough though. 

I swiftly change back to my human form and use the wand (which somehow remained on me even in panther form) to point toward the ceiling and cry, "Funis Aspiro Adsensio!"

My pursuers seem very shocked at the spell and I know exactly why... I invented it. After months of practice with Flitwick I had become fairly adept at creating new charms and spells and getting them to work for me. 

This one had a bit of transfiguration mixed in as it created a rope from thin air which attached it self to the ceiling of any room. Very nifty if I do say so myself. 

The spell was actually a variation of the spell used to conjure ropes. I had actually created the ropes from the ceiling one day when I cast a rope-binding charm very, very wrong. I then decided to create a spell to do what mine had- hang ropes from the ceiling. I mean, why not? 

Little did I know how handy that spell would be. Quickly casting a protection charm on my hands and making sure that Estine was securely wrapped around my wrist I began to concentrate. 

I built up an invisible shield around me. Not the strongest one I had even made but the best I'd ever made in a hurry. Keeping it in place by casting a trailing spell and adding a firm 'Protego' for extra measure I began to climb my rope. 

As I climbed the rope I recalled one time in primary school when Dudley had been bragging to his friends during gym about how fast he could do the rope climb that they had been practicing. 

I had, at the time, been 8 and probably the smallest, lightest kid in my year. Gathering up my courage I challenged Dudley to a rope climbing race and made him swear that if I won he wouldn't pick on me or even talk about me to anyone for a week. 

Dudley in return made me swear to go around telling everyone in school what a wonderful cousin he was and how he was so kind to me (in an attempt to squash the rumors going around within the groups of girls that Dudley was a jerk and a bully.) 

Confident in my abilities I had agreed to the bet and we arranged it so that when we were rope climbing in gym class the next day he would go on one rope and I on the other at the same time. 

I think our gym teacher caught wind of what was going on because he made us go last... I think the idea was to try and make it so we didn't have enough time to go. However, the other kids in the class climbed remarkably more quickly than usual and at last Dudley and I were the last ones left.

I distinctly remember the feeling of the rope under my sweaty fingers and the pounding of my heart on my ribs. It wasn't so much that I was scared of loosing, but I was scared of giving up this chance. The chance to show all my peers who had been told by Dudley that I was a freak they should stay away from that he was wrong. That I was normal and had skills like everyone else. Hell, at that point in my life I would have been willing to be friends with Draco Malfoy if just to have a friend. 

Finally I remembered the sound of my teacher's voice saying "Go!"

He sounded so disappointed in the two of us for having to race like this, for having to prove ourselves like this and thus ruining his class. Of course, I realized, this teacher was going to get into severe trouble... I mean what kind of administration lets a member of its staff get off scott free for allowing two students to engage in a potentially dangerous race in their class. 

In addition what kind of teacher lets students do that? But Mr. Doire (our gym teacher) knew about the constant antagonism between my cousin and I, and was giving me a chance to resolve at least a fraction of it. 

I felt horribly guilty. And I, at eight years old, decided that I never wanted to gain something only at another's expense. 

I remember jumping off the rope after climbing only two feet off the ground. I remember walking over to Mr. Doire and asking him if I could do the rope climb another day, and finally watching as Dudley declared loudly that he had beat me without even taking his feet off the ground. 

I also remember a week later watching Mr. Doire's face light up as he watched me climb the rope faster than anyone in the class. It was in that moment that Doire realized what I had done for him. Before, I think he had some lingering doubt that I may not have been a good climber or that I was afraid of loosing. But when he saw me climb with confidence in my movements, he knew just exactly why I had thrown the race. 

It was my first true taste of being a hero and I still to this day think it was worth it.

It became a standing joke with Dudley and his friends that I was terrified at loosing and I did indeed have to go around telling girls how wonderful Dudley was, but every time I saw Mr. Doire after that day I knew I did the right thing. Both for him... and for me.

Now, here I was. Rope climbing again. I had gotten much heavier over the years (no thanks to Aunt Petunia), but I still had my same grace and speed.

I think I have some kind of innate fluidness of motion once in the air. Flying, rope climbing- once my feet are off the ground I truly begin to move. 

I was about half the way up now. My pursuers were crowded around the bottom of the rope shooting spells at me. But they all bounced off my shield harmlessly. 

I was somewhat surprised though. There were no Unforgivables among the spells they were firing. Otherwise my shield would have shattered in an instant. 

It made me wonder just who it was I was fighting. None of my assailants had said a word. No taunting jibes or even words of encouragement or planning to each other. The only way I even knew their genders was by the sounds of their voices when shooting spells. 

They aren't death eaters though I though as I heaved myself up another few feet of rope. They were wearing navy blue robes... not the pitch black of death eaters... or the blood red of Aurors either (but why would I be fighting Aurors anyway?) 

Also these pursuers wore masks but not the stark white masks of Death Eaters (Aurors don't wear masks). They wore... well I couldn't even see what color masks they were. Perhaps they weren't even masks. Maybe they were obstruction charms or some kind of shielding illusions.

That would be helpful on my scar I thought idly looking at the wand still clutched in my hand as I climbed. I wished it was mine. 

Suddenly struck with a bout of inspiration I took one hand off the rope and aimed the other one with the wand in it down at the cluster of wizards and witches below me. Then I shouted, "Accio my Wand!"

I practically cried with joy when I saw my wand shooting up towards me from the pocket of one of the wizards below. I snatched it up and put the second wand I had stolen in my pocket. 

The wizards and witches below seemed to be making some frustrated noises as I could hear some mumbling even from as far up as I now was. 'So they can talk,' I though, 'Just not to me.' 

Satisfied with my conclusions and the reacquisition of my wand I gathered my remaining strength and climbed even faster toward the top of the rope. 

One of the wizards below seemed to be struck with some sick inspiration as I heard a loud shout and then both felt and saw the rope sever at a point just above me. I screamed terrified and as I began to fall back down I aimed my wand at the part of the rope still attached to the ceiling and shouted, "Adiungo Diffingo!"

Amazingly enough the spell I had just made up (thank Merlin I knew the Latin words for connect and again) actually worked and the rope joined together again. 

Still shaking from my fear I continued to climb the rope faster than before desperate to reach the glass ceiling. 

Looking down to make sure that the group below had not thought of anything else I was shocked to see that they had lit the rope on fire and although the flames had quite a bit to tear through to reach me, I still had to hurry. 

I reached the ceiling and screamed, "Reducto!" The pieces of glass flew around me and I shut my eyes tightly before much damage could be done. 

The hole I had made was not too huge as it seemed that the ceiling had several protection spells on it so that it wouldn't collapse at the slightest pressure. In fact thinking about it I had to be pretty damned powerful to make the size hole that I did. 

It was a tight squeeze and I am pretty sure that the cut I got along my right thigh would take a long time (or a particularly vile potion) to heal. But I was out of that room and seemingly on the roof of whatever building it was I was in. 

It seemed my pursuers were getting desperate now that I was on the roof. I saw the bright lights reflecting off my shield and smirked, 'Not this time.' 

I severed my rope and sent the flaming object back down to the pack of aggressors and then as if as am after thought I pointed my wand at the pack and bellowed, "ACCIO WANDS!" 

All at once 9 wands came flying up at me and I snapped most of them in half. Except for one that felt particularly good in my hand. (Not as good as my own did, but... still). 

Finally just to be sure they didn't follow me I slowly charmed the hole I had made in the ceiling back to normal. Tedious process (since the ceiling had protection charms on it and all) involving a variation of the 'Reparo' spell, but it had to be done. 

'So long suckers!' I thought. 

But then I realized... I was trapped on a roof.

*~*~*~*

Author (C. Night) Notes: YAY! I got a review! Holy crap! Thank you very, very, very much to Sea- Turtles for taking a minute to do that. It really made my day. This chapter, I think was a bit better than the last. Definitely longer this time. Estine I noticed got a bit quieter, but hey there is always the next chapter. Harry is in for quite a long haul so don't go away... the escape from the ceiling... next chapter! And if you are reading PLEASE REVIEW! And if anyone knows how to get italics, underline, and bold to come up I'd appreciate the tip. :-) 

All the spells Harry made up have some kind of root in Latin please don't get too nit-picky on me seeing as... well I made them up. Oh and I could probably use a beta-reader. 

**Another Author Note**: 12/26 I am pretty far into the next chapter (its longer than the other two) and I got a bit stuck at one point. I would like to include something but it would involve a bit of romance between Harry & Blaise Zabini (who I would make a girl). I was going to make this strictly action/adventure but I don't know- it seemed interesting. _Opinions?_ Let me know. I could always write a separate story with that romance in it. So **review**! Tell me what you think. And thanks to Linky2 your questions will be answered one much sooner than the other. 

*~*~*~* 


	3. Tantalizingly, Dangerously Close

Author: C. Night

Rating: PG-13

Category: Action/Adventure & Romance (at least for this chapter)

Disclaimer: Anything that you, Harry Potter fan that you are, recognize does not belong to me nor do I claim credit for it. J.K. Rowling and all those other lucky people own the Harry Potter universe. I do NOT. 

Note: I think I am pretty clear with it but just incase people get confused:

'...' indicates thinking &

"..." indicates talking. 

Title: Getting Out or Dying Trying 

Chapter 3: Tantalizingly, Dangerously Close 

Standing on the concrete on top of the roof, apparently not the entire roof was made of glass, I finally felt the exhaustion kick in. I mean really I may be Harry Potter (insert mob of screaming and crying people), but even I have my limits. So I did what any famous person who happens to have not only an evil dark lord but also a swarm of losers dressed in blue robes after them would do... I sat my ass down. 

Ok I started by sitting down but then I got even more tired and lied down... on a roof... watching the sunrise.

I've always thought sunrise was better than sunset, mainly because it is the symbol that miracle upon miracles you have managed to survive to see another day. That you, (yes you!) are going to continue on and make something out of this new day... this new day which you will never get the chance to do again. 

So there I was. On the roof. Watching the sun paint the sky about 7 different shades of purples blues and reds and feeling the spell I had cast on the gash across my thigh take effect. I could feel it healing... it was pretty distracting. Fascinating actually. Feeling your skin somehow stitching itself back together at hyper speed. When it healed as much as it was going to for the time being I noticed some things.

I was a bit cold. Ok I was really cold. It was December after all. No snow on the ground though. If I was back at school I would no doubt be complaining that it wasn't going to be a white Christmas. I have a thing for white Christmases. It makes it so much better. 

What I wouldn't give to be back there complaining about silly things like that. Goosebumps had developed on my skin by the time the sun fully rose and I could get a good idea of where I was. 

I stood up (a hard task when just about half of your body has decided to freeze) and looked around. Well it appears that I am trapped in a castle. A rather large castle. Don't know whose... um... don't knew where. Shit. Ok yeah don't know anything except it's a castle with stained glass windows and prison cells in it. And snakes... oh and there was a rather large forest nearby. 

As I stared at the forest I saw a pack of thestrals fly out of it and into the sky. 

'Just like in the Forbidden Forest,' I thought idly.

I wondered how far I was from school. From Scotland... from... help. 

'Alright' I decided in my mind, 'thinking like this will not help. I have my wand back and then some (2 extras actually- the one I just couldn't snap and the one I stole during the duel) it's time to do some spell casting.'

"Point Me Hogwarts!" I commanded. The wand pointed in the direction of the forest. 

Struck with an odd thought I decided to use a spell Professor Moody... no just Moody had showed me during training. I mean there's no harm in it right?

"Circumspectus Effigia!" I shouted sweeping my wand in a circle over my head as I carefully pronounced the words. 

Suddenly an image came to life all around me. The spell, just as Moody designed it to gave the caster the view of an area as if they were in an airplane about 250 feet above it. The downside of the spell was that it blocked off the caster's actual vision for around 45 seconds. 

For the second time in the same day I found that I could not see what was actually in front of me. Instead I saw a castle with a forest on the right side of it. Then beyond that forest was another castle an even larger one with a lake and even beyond that a small village lay. 

On the left side of the first castle (the one I was on) it seemed there was an endless expanse of grassy land. I was sure there were some houses over there but due to the height from which I was viewing I could not tell.

But that's not important. What mattered was that I was near Hogwarts. In fact very near to Hogwarts. Dangerously close. 

Oh Merlin I could almost feel tears welling up in my eyes, but of course I didn't let them fall. I was close. Damned close. And I could do this. I knew I could. I would get out of this if only through the knowledge that I was already so close. 

My vision cleared and I could see what was truly before me once more. I looked at the forest to my right and smiled. I felt like singing I was so happy. Estine who to be honest I think had been shocked by my mood swings (first I fight like mad and then I lie as if dying on the top of a freezing roof) seemed to now feel me happiness. 

"What is it Master?" he hissed curiously. 

"We're off to see the wizards Estine. The wonderful wizards of Hogwarts!" I declared goofily. 

Ignoring Estine's puzzled hissing I moved to the edge of the roof I was on. The castle (as most do) seemed to have several towers, but I appeared to be on the roof of the main part of the building. I walked over to the very edge pulled out my wand a power-filled Wingardium Leviosa on my lips and hurled myself off the roof. 

Alright not the best idea in the world, but I had to get off the roof right? And it wasn't as if I didn't have a wand. It should have been a bit of a jolt and then smooth sailing to the grass many feet below, right?

Wrong! I had forgotten, once again, that this was a magical castle. Thus there were all kinds of barrier spells set up preventing people from accidentally falling off the roof or to prevent anyone from committing suicide off the roof. 

So what happened when I tried to jump off the roof? Just about the loudest 'Snap!' I had ever heard went off and I was hurled away from the edge of the room. I landed with a thud right on my bottom and I knew... I KNEW there was going to be a bruise. 

Ok, so maybe I am even more trapped on this room than I thought. Well, now I am going to have to get back in the building, find an exit, and then make my way to the forest. Trek through it and get to Hogwarts. Don't forget the fact that there were who knows how many traps set in this castle and millions of dangerous creatures in that forest. So I had to get through all of that... without dying. Great...

As I sat on my butt still contemplating my problem, Estine was hissing up a storm.

He seemed very agitated and I couldn't even make out a word. "What is it?!?" I finally hissed in an angry voice. 

Estine seemed to start at my tone and backed away a bit before answering, "Master please don't be mad. Master promise no harm come Estine. No harm. No hurt Estine. Please, Master! Please!" 

I felt my heart breaking as I moved toward the snake and he backed away even further. "I am sorry Estine, very sorry. I did promise and I intend to keep that promise. Your Master has never gone back on his word before and doesn't intend to now. I swear that I won't hurt you and I won't let anyone else either. I swear nothing bad will happen. I promise."

Saying those words, I jerk faintly. I distinctly remember saying those exact words 'I swear that I won't hurt you and I won't let anyone else either' to someone very special on a night not too long ago. I smile very slightly at the memory. 

Nothing bad has really happened there so far, but dear Merlin, I hope that she doesn't find out that I am here. If she knew that I had somehow managed to get myself into this situation she would absolutely murder me. 

My smile gets wider as I imagine her, light brown eyes flashing dangerously jet black hair (just as dark as mine... although she insists hers is darker) getting all strewn out of its usual perfect curls as she gives my a good talking to about my 'damn Gryffindor bravery' (Replace bravery with stupidity) and my 'inborn magnetism to danger'. 

Then at her mention of the word magnetism I would inevitably lead the conversation to my animal magnetism which she would scoff at, as she (with her trained Slytherin eyes) calmly watched me discretely get closer and closer to her. 

Once I was close enough to put her on edge and get a slight blush to develop on her cheeks I would then talk about something completely irrelevant such as the upcoming history assignment or how my astrology chart came out perfectly. 

At which point she would inform me that I was much more a Slytherin than I would ever admit. I, of course, would deny this claim profusely all the while bringing my lips tantalizingly close to her own. 

She would pretend not to notice and continue to argue that I had more Slytherin in me than any Gryffindor in history (which is probably true) until I admitted that she had a point. ("Albeit a small one," I would always add.) 

Then she would allow her attention to wander to my face which, at this point, is always dangerously close to her own and as the smallest of blushes lit up her cheeks I would say, "And what are you, Blaise Zabini, going to do with your most Slytherinish Gryffindor?"

"Oh, do you belong to me now?" she would reply coyly her eyes beginning to close in anticipation of the kiss she knew was coming. Then I would lean in even closer kiss her slowly on each cheek, then on the nose and then... 

...pull away so swiftly I'm surprised she doesn't suffer from separation anxiety by now.

I would then say in response to her coy statement (which she usually by this time forgets that she even said), "Of course I belong to you, who else could handle me? Hmmm?" 

The first time I did this she nearly killed me, but recently she has simply opened her eyes half way, tilted her head down slightly and exhaled slowly through her barely parted and half smiling lips. 

It is the damned sexiest thing I have ever seen and I swear that she knows that. Slytherins. You can never pull something on them without having them get you back double.

No wonder the hat thought I should go there. Payback is engaging. And as far as Blaise and I are concerned: Anticipation is the name of the game. And damn am I having fun playing. We haven't even kissed yet, but I can't even look at any other girls. It's just she and I. 

Slowly being drawn out of my slightly arousing thoughts I snort. Professor Snape didn't know what the hell he was doing making us... "Study Partners." 

I know one thing though, if I had gotten some other Slytherin as a partner I know I'd be doing a hell of a lot better in Newt Potions... so perhaps Snape did know what he was doing.

I laugh aloud at the thought you just never know with those Slytherins do you? 

Estine once again seems drawn to me by laughter. He slithers closer as if inspecting me. I wipe the smile off my face, remembering that I was in the midst of apologizing to the snake before my thoughts took me away.

Estine seems to sense my true remorse for yelling at him and allows me to pick him up and hold his cold body to my chest. 

He then hisses quietly, "Too cold Master and Estine must go now," and slithers off of my and back to the ground.

"Estine!" I say alarmed. "Where are you going?"

"Follow Master. Follow," he answers cryptically. 

And for once in my life. I just do. I follow blindly. I trust someone (well I guess in this case something but this is Estine... he's as much a someone as Professor Snape... if not more so) fully and with no doubt. 

Estine cares. I know he does. So I follow. And I am really glad I did.

Estine leads me to the other side of the ceiling where there seems to be the top of a chimney. It was a round structure much too small for me to fit through but roomy enough for Estine to slide down with ease. He begins to do just that when he suddenly seems to remember me.

"Master... come?" the small snake asks hesitantly as though afraid I'll yell at him for asking such a dumb question.

However he is shocked when I answer, "Of course I'll come Estine, you just go ahead first tell me if there is anyone down there and then if you say its ok I'll follow."

Estine looks at me for a moment as if doubting my sanity but slides down the chimney to check the coast as I asked. 

About 2 minutes later he emerged once more. "There is a little human in the room master. Very little. Sitting in room with large table. Playing. Did not see Estine. No Master, little human no see Estine, but will see Master when he... comes down," Estine tells me, hesitating at the last part once again doubting my ability to fit down the small chimney. 

I start thinking furiously. So there is a kid in the room. What the hell a kid is doing in the place of my incarceration is a matter I won't even begin to think about, but I don't know if I should risk it. 

I hear the wind whistle in my ears and look down at my attire. Though my Hogwarts school robes are somewhat warm there is no way I will last up here long enough to wait for someone to find me or even long enough to look for an alternate exit. 

Oh well, I decide at last. What the hell could this kid do to me anyway? 

I tell Estine to slide down once more and try to scare the kid out of the room, then wait for me to arrive. 

I wait a minute and hear a startled shriek. Taking it as my cue I cast a spell on the chimney, "Divarico!"

The spell which I nicknamed the 'Santa Spell' is usually used for expanding an enclosed area to accommodate your size... and your size alone. The spell should not be used by claustrophobics as it is still a tight fit.

Most commonly used by Aurors when trying to get through a small space in either an alley way or possibly the site of an accident Tonks found it amusing when I told her my nickname for it. 

"You know I've never heard of anyone using it to get down chimneys but I guess it could work. Don't you run off looking for chimneys to try it on though," I recall her saying.

"Well Tonks," I say aloud "We're about to find out if it works and I didn't even have to run off to find a chimney. It came to me! Hurray!" 

I stand on top of the chimney and gasp when it seems to almost come to life and swallow my feet. It then begins to move me down itself just as an esophagus moves food down to one's stomach. 

Once my head it no longer outside I close my eyes. This is not the most enjoyable experience as is and the last thing I need is to get soot stuck in my eyes on the way down. 

I start to think of Blaise again on the way down. I think it's because of that feeling of being surrounded. Of almost suffocating. Of drowning in something, but knowing that it's just what you have to endure. The feeling that I get in here- surrounded by a chimney- is a lot like the feelings I get around her. 

Her presence is so all encompassing. Nothing else matters when she and I are together. Take for instance our meeting place. The only place the two of us really ever talk for long stretches is the library. Out in public like that, it's very dangerous. 

A Slytherin talking to a Gryffindor and laughing? Flirting? Kissing (although it is never on the lips)? If we were caught the rumors and speculation around the school would ruin both our reputations and cause many a headache. 

But I only think about these things after we meet or just before. When I am with her I am not Harry Potter- the boy who lived. I'm Harry Pothead- the boy who wouldn't shut up and let me finish my homework. Or Harry Potter- the boy who toys with my emotions (alright she's never actually said that, but I can read it in her eyes). 

I have so much freaking fun when I am with her. It's like Cat and Mouse for the pros (amateurs need not apply). Now I have never really been a ladies man or one to tease. But she brings that out in me. I am really beginning to love it. Because as the anticipation grows I feel both myself and herself getting more desperate and more needy. When we do kiss I know its going to be outrageous, mind blowing and completely- 

I feel the air around me get warmer. And it's not even from the flush developing on my cheeks from thinking about her. 

The chimney, I feel, is getting larger. 

'Almost out now,' I think. With the extra room I now have I am able to pull my wand from my holster and grip it tightly. Then I land with a plop on the floor in front of the chimney. 'Seems the chimney was nice enough not to spit me out directly into the logs and ash. Thank goodness for that.' I think gratefully. 

I then stand swiftly and look for the child Estine had warned me about. Looking around I see no one, not even Estine. I can feel my heart start to race. 

'Oh no, that kid better not have done anything to my snake. I never go back on a promise. I said nothing would happen.' 

Snapping out of my panic I call out, "Estine? Where are you?" as I look under the large table in the room just as Estine described. 

"Master! Here!" I hear the snake call and I smack my head on the bottom of the table in my haste to look up.

Sitting in one of the over sized chairs at the oversized table is Estine. In the lap of a sky blue eyed, red haired child. The little girl looks at me and says in calm tones, "Does this snake belong to you, sir?" 

I decide that if she wants to play the innocent I'll let her. I am still on my guard however as I approach. For all I know this girl is some death eater on Polyjuice or something. I mean who keeps there kid in the same house as they do their hostages. 

"Why yes it is my snake, little girl. Would you like to give him to me now?" I say in my best Dumbledore tones. You know the tone that betrays nothing except a very, very happy person. 

The girl is still examining Estine, "She's mine now." She declares and looks at me expectantly, as if her declaration is supposed to make me leave. 

I am starting to get pissed now. "Listen to me... er-" 

"Adrianna," she informs me. 

"Alright then," I say, "Listen to me Adrianna, Estine is mine. HE has been helping me out for the past few hours and you are not taking him from me." 

"What if Eline wants to be with me now? You left HER out in the cold she was freezing when she came here for my help. She can have a better Mum than you. I can be her new Mum. Right Eline?"

"HIS NAME IS **ESTINE**!" I whisper harshly at the girl, "And you will hand him to me now or I will take him by force!"

The girl seems to get irritated by my tone as she frustrated, brushes some of her curly red locks out of her face. "This is MY house!" she says, "You cannot take anything from me here! I will call my father if you don't get out of my room right now!"

"Your room?" I say skeptically. "If this was your room wouldn't it have a bed? Or some clothes? Or toys or any of the normal things little girls have in their rooms?"

Her clear blue eyes start to cloud over and she looks down at the table, "I... I mean...I"

I use her distraction to my advantage and I quietly hiss for Estine, "Come here my Estine. Come slowly. Do not alert the human."

The girl I notice has given up on explaining herself and seems to be beginning to panic, "Please mister. Please don't tell my... tell my...not supposed to be," she is interrupted by a bout of the hiccups but tries to continue to talk. Tears are beginning to stream down her cheeks, "Please don't –hiccup- tell my Dad. Not supposed to be –hiccup- here. Forbidden wing... meant only for the - hiccup- elaminaton. I shouldn't be... -hiccup- here now!"

By this time Estine had slipped unnoticed from the girl's lap and was sliding underneath my robes up my leg on his way to my arm.

I was going to try to discreetly slip from the room while the girl was still blithering, but something she said caught my attention. Meant only for the WHAT?!? 

"Adrianna!" I said rushing over to the child. "What is this wing meant for?" 

The girl slowly turned her blue eyes at me and mumbled something that I couldn't hear. 

"What was that?" I asked trying my very best not to get the girl scared by my anxiousness. 

Adrianna did not respond. She simply cried harder and I realized that if I wanted any information I was going to have to do some very fast but very effective comforting. 

I picked the small girl up off from her seat and placed her on my lap. 'Um.. right.. now what?' I thought. 

I have never really been the best when it comes to comforting. Fighting evil lords? You got it. Slaying basilisks? Bring it on. Comforting a five year old? Get her the hell away form me!

But I knew I had to try, and fast who knows how long I had before the mysteriously robed losers caught up with me. 

"Adrianna" I said quietly rubbing the girl's back with one hand and conjuring up a glass of water with the other. "I want you to breathe and calm down; everything is going to be fine. Ok?"

The girl seemed to nod as she drank the water- eradicating her hiccups in doing so. Once she finished the small glass she wiped at her now red rimmed eyes and gave me a smile. 

"Maybe Eline can stay with you. You are not a bad Mum," she said looking into my eyes.

"Thank you very much Adrianna, now I would really like to go home with my snake. Do you think you can tell me how to get out of here?" I asked.

The girl looked at me and scratched at her mop of curly red locks, "Are you a 'risner?" she asked me.

"A what?" I questioned.

"A risner. Cuz risners can't leave til dey are finished. I've never seen you before," she said getting off my lap as she spoke. "You must be a risner. So no I can't tell you how to leave."

My face must have fell for she ran back over to my lap and gave me a hug, "I am sorry little boy. I am sorry little snake. You have to stay here. But I shouldn't be here. I must leave. Adrianna was very bad, coming around where risners stay. Papa will be angry if he sees. Goodbye little boy. Be good to your Mum little snake." 

She got up and ran clumsily to the large door. Then as she opened it she turned around and whispered to me, "No body is out here 'cept me. Try to finish quick and you can leave sooner. And please, please, please don't tell Papa!"

Before I could respond she had rushed out the door and pulled it closed behind her. I sat on the floor until I could no longer hear the pitter-pattering of her shoes on the marble floor. 

Then I stood. Apparently I had a job to do before I could leave. Hiding in a room wasn't going to get me any where so I walked over to the door with Eline... er- ESTINE wrapped loosely around my wrist. 

As I pulled it open I wished I had followed Adrianna immediately after she left the room then I could have seen where the main part of the castle was. The part that she lived in. The part where I could get out. 

'Oh well, too late now,' I thought taking out my wand. 

"Point me Exit!" I said calmly. The wand pointed to the right, on his left the hallway led to a series of doors, but on his right it seemed to get darker and there were no doors.

Well... it's not like I'm choosing between heaven and hell here. The wand points right then I go right.

As I walked along the hall I cast a modification of the lumos spell which caused a ball of light to trail along after the caster. 

"Walking down the dark hallway seems much simpler now doesn't it," I hissed to Estine who simply bobbed his head in response. 

As I walked down the hall and hopefully closer to the exit, I tried to figure out what Adrianna had been talking about. Apparently I was a risner. What a risner was however... I had no idea. All I knew though was that I wasn't here by chance. Someone had brought me here. Brought me here to accomplish something and it seemed as though I wouldn't be getting out until I did it.

"But I need a sign! Damn it! If you want me to do something tell me what it is! Just tell me so I can try... so I can leave! Give me a signal! Where do you want me?" I screamed thoroughly frightening Estine and causing a score of echoes to reverberate along the stone walls and marble floors. 

And then I heard it. A scream. Chilling and piercing; terrifying and desperate. The scream of one in need of rescuing. Just like mine, but yet very different. For this was the scream of a child... 

...and the poor kid was pretty close. What to do?

You know, I always did have a hero complex. 

~*~*~*~*~

Author (C. Night) Notes: Another chapter done. Hurrah! And look! Harry isn't even trapped any where this time. Not yet anyway... Thank you to my three wonderful reviewers (Elayne Sedai, Linky2 & Sea-Turtles) and please do come again! All I can say is- if you like it do me a favor and tell your friends lol. But I am having a damn good time writing this so just to know that at least three people are reading it and have like it enough to show their appreciation is great. Let me know how the Harry/Blaise thing was in your opinions. It was fun to write something a bit different. And I've been going back and fixing little things in the previous chapters... nothing major so far but if you spot any errors grammatically let me know. Good news folks this chapter was the longest yet a whopping four thousand something words (and that's upper four thousand thank you very much)! 

Until next time... REVIEW! 

~*~*~*~*~


	4. Two Lemon Drops

Author: C. Night

Rating: PG-13

Category: Action/Adventure & Mystery 

Disclaimer: Anything that you, Harry Potter fan that you are, recognize does not belong to me nor do I claim credit for it. J.K. Rowling and a bunch of other lucky people claim credit for the H.P. universe. I do NOT. 

Note: I think I am pretty clear with it but just incase people get confused:

'...' indicates thinking &

"..." indicates talking. 

Title: Getting Out or Dying Trying 

Chapter 4: Two Lemon Drops 

Running down the hallway I begin to realize that the screaming voice is not that of Adrianna, which I had first thought, but of another child. It sounded like a boy this time.

'Damn,' I thought 'How many kids are in this place? I was unaware that the newest form of torture was to trap your nemesis in a castle with about 10 million kids popping up all over the-'

My thoughts were interrupted when I finally reached the door that would lead to the still screaming little boy. I did not open it just yet. First I leaned my head in toward the entrance and strained my ears. 

Of course I still heard the child bellowing. But I also heard someone... or perhaps more than one someones casting spells. 

"Dear Merlin," I whisper aloud "Is this some kind of torture chamber?"

Estine hisses at me, irritated that I am speaking in English, but I ignore him. What the hell am I supposed to do now? Do I go in there and battle who knows how many tormenters to save this kid (who may very well be as crazy as Adrianna). 

Or do I... leave?

Leave? When the hell have I ever done that?!? Alright well of course I have to go in. But how? Is the door even open?

I lean in toward the doorknob and whisper gently, "Alohomora!" I hear the lock click and I smirk, "That was a bit too easy."

Figuring that the situation would be much easier to take control of if I shocked those hurting the child I threw the door open and dove into the room. 

To my surprise my entrance went unnoticed. In the room there was a young boy chained to a table screaming as a circle of navy–blue robed figures cast spell after spell on him. 

I felt as if cotton had just been jammed in my ears. I became almost overly aware of the pounding of my heart. I could practically feel sweat developing on my skin and the curses of those around me began to blend together in what sounded almost like a foreign language.

'I am having a panic attack,' I thought vaguely. 'That's never happened before.'

I started counting to ten in my head. Slowly. The boy squirmed on the table at around two and a half and that idea went to hell.

Anxiety attack or freakin not I am not about to let this kid suffer because I decided to get... dare I say it... scared. 

So I shot some stunners at the freaky torturers who still haven't even noticed I'm here or at least haven't made any moves to get me out. 

Nothing works. It is almost as if they are in a trance. There are five of them. Vaguely I wonder where the other five I left in the huge hall ended up. 

Focusing when the boy emits another strangled scream I try to get to him instead. However once I try to step beyond the circle of the five casters I am pushed back by some magical force.

I begin to feel irritated again. Now I am having my second panic attack in five minutes because I can't seem to find a way to rescue some kid I don't even know. 

Add that to the fact that I have no idea what I would even do with this kid once I rescued him. I couldn't exactly cart him around with me as I tried to escape. Estine was enough to worry about.

Logically I should just turn and leave. I tried and there is simply nothing I can do. I should not feel guilty.

If I was truly Slytherin as the Sorting Hat said I was I would be able to do that. 

But then there was a reason I was put in Gryffindor. 

Slowly I back up so that I am a pretty good distance away from the table and the circle of tormentors. I then focus on the vulnerability I feel radiating off the boy and the anger and helplessness I can feel in my self. Then...

I run.

Like some demented bull I charge at that table, wands (yes that is plural... three wands are better than one right and if you've got them... use them.) raised and eyes narrowed. 

Looking back I am not really sure what spell I used. If I even used one. I just broke the 'web-thing' around the boy and rushed in and grabbed him. He turned his brown eyes at me (they reminded me of Blaise's and a bit of Hermione's as well). His eyes widened in shock before he promptly fainted.

The spell casters seemed to have been jerked to the floor when I broke their web of spells, but by the time the boy was safely cradled in my arms they were awake. 

I could hear Estine hiss as I rushed toward the door, "Time for master and little master to leave... now." 

Unfortunately the door slammed before I could get there. My five aggressors it seemed had righted themselves and it looked like this time I wouldn't be escaping.

I scanned the room as I shifted the weight of the boy enough to make sure I had a firm hold on my wand. 

No windows. No glass ceiling. 

Well that's just great.

"This is going to be one of those 'Battle to the Death' type things then," I said aloud trying to unnerve my opponents as I laid the boy down gently in a corner of the room. "Fine. Just don't say I didn't warn you."

I could practically feel the smirk radiating off the first git to approach me. He didn't think I could win. 

'Well we'll see about that,' I thought arrogantly. 

Then he did something I should have expected, but for some reason didn't.

He swiftly aimed his wand at me and yelled, "Crucio!"

The curse hit me full on and I fell to the floor screaming. The pain was blinding, it had been two years since the last time I had felt such excruciating, unbearable pain. Finally he took the curse of and I felt that when I feel to the floor I had hit my head hard on the marble. 

My head felt like it was slowly splitting in two. The room was silent and I could practically hear the echoes of my screams bouncing off the walls.

'So we're playing dirty then?' I thought. 

Before I could even get up another of the blue robes figures had kicked me hard in the stomach. Luckily I didn't hear anything crack, but my breathing became much more labored. 

Deciding that I'd had enough I tried to grab a wand from my holster but the nearest assailant stepped on my wrist snapping at least one of the wands I had in two and when the bastard increased the pressure of their foot on my wrist I could feel the splinters of wood from the wand sinking themselves in my flesh. 

The pain was getting to be too much, when all five of my attackers leveled their wands at me I was struck with a sudden though, 'I am about to die and I didn't even kill Voldemort yet.'

I believe that was the first time since Dumbledore told me about the prophesy that it took full effect. I was the only one who could kill the evil bastard and if I died at the hands of some gits in blue jump suits the entire world was going to suffer. 

So with five wands all pointed directly at my heart I decided that I wasn't about to let that happen.

Desperately trying to ignore the pain in not only my head but my wrist and stomach as well, I used my position on the floor to swipe my legs out and knock down three of my attackers. 'You'd think they would have learned that I have a tendency to do that move the last time.' I thought smugly.

I then popped up from the floor and punched one of the two left standing hard in the jaw, then pushed them so that the force of both the punch and the push sent them flying into the person next to them.

I then swiftly turned to the other three who it seemed were trying to put my in the same kind of web of magic they had trapped the little boy in earlier. 

I however wasn't about to let that happen. I took my last remaining wand from my pocket (which to my relief and amusement was my own) and shot a rapid succession of stunners at the three. 

Unfortunately it seemed they had learned to dodge while I was away. I missed all three but at least I stopped them from finishing the web. I then felt a sharp pain go through the side of my face. My jaw was broken. I knew it was. 

It seemed that the attacker who I had punched was very upset about that and decided to get revenge by doing the same to me. 

And damn could that guy pack a punch. Somehow I managed to remain standing, but I knew I was swaying. More spells were being shot at me ands it seemed that the casters were going faster and faster. Thanks to my seeker reflexes I only got hit once.

Unfortunately it was with a Silencing Charm.

'Great, now I can't cast anymore... until it wears off anyways.'

From my knowledge silencing charms can last for about 30 minutes at most, but I would probably be dead by then. The attackers knew I had been hit with the charm and they seemed to turn to each other in congratulations.

They, of course, did not say anything but I could tell that they thought I was down and out.

They obviously didn't know who they were dealing with. It was time to break out the wand-less skills.

And no, I don't mean wand-less magic. I was a little tired of that by this time. 

Estine, who didn't know that I couldn't talk anymore was still hissing at me informing my that the two attackers behind me were slowly creeping closer, probably to bind me. 

I calmly waited until they were very closer and jutted both of my elbows up and out, hard. 

I could hear and feel both of their noses break and I know I was smirking as they fell to the floor.

The other three in front of me looked at each other and lifted their wands and before I could blink had shot three spells at me. 

I however was not there to be hit by them. I had apparated.

Wait! I had apparated. Now, yes I'd done some training over the summer, ok a lot of training, but I had only just begun to read about apparating... I was no where near actually doing it.

And last I heard you needed to **say** a spell to do it. 

Damn I'm good.

The Death eaters seemed to think that I had an invisibility cloak or something because they started shouting "Accio! Accio!" like mad. 

'Morons,' I thought, 'even if I did have one how would that have stopped me from getting hit by your spells?' 

Deciding to use their momentary confusion to my advantage I swiftly changed into the panther for the second time in the past few hours. Silently I approach to strike all three at the same time if I can, but a startled cry alerts them to my presence. 

It seems that one of the gits with the broken noses is awake and has seen me from his (or her) position on the floor.

The three in front of my turn swiftly and I strike at the one nearest my paw. I feel my claws lodge themselves very firmly into their thigh and know that this guy would not be getting up for a while. 

The other two shot stunning spells at me crazily, but I dodge them all, my cat reflexes are even better than my human ones. 

When one of the two lands a kick at me however I hesitated in my shock and was flung about half way across the room. 

I was hurting now more than ever and I knew I had to finish this. I was furious and what does a furious cat do but growl.

I let out an ear splitting roar that, I admit even shocked me, and ran at my attackers. Using my momentum I took one down against the floor, hard. The other however cast a spell at me (the same one that Sirius and Remus used on Peter in my third year) to force me to change back to my human form. 

It was much more painful than the normal change and took more energy out of me than I had to spare. 

I hit the floor with a groan. It was when the sound came out of my mouth that I realized that I had my voice back. I could cast again!

I'm sorry to say, though, that my attacker realized the same thing and cast an "Expelliarmus!" so fast all I could do was try to feeble grasp at my wand as it flew away from me. 

The final attacker left circled me slowly and I got the feeling that he was dying to talk, but knew that he couldn't. 

I, however, could still talk.

"It's just you and me now Mr. Big and Bad. What are you going to do?"

I could feel the smirk coming off of him as he turned his wand on the two broken-nosed losers still groaning in pain on the floor. "Resarcio Medulla!" 

He hissed in a raspy voice that I knew wasn't his real one. The down side of using voice disguising spells was that it made your voice so odd that everyone you approached knew it wasn't your real voice. It kind of defeats the purpose in a way.

I wondered something then, did that mean I knew this guy. He obviously thought I would recognize his voice. 

My musing was brought to a halt when I realized what the spell he had just cast did. The two I had knocked out by breaking their noses were up once more, and they looked... mad.

Three on one yet again. Damn it, will this never end!

"Couldn't handle me alone, could you? Had to revive the rest of the dork squad? Well your last two cohorts, I'm afraid are beyond revival... or did you not see the gashes all over them?" I said cruelly. 

I'm afraid the effect was not as chilling as it should have been though seeing as my lip was bleeding from... well from one of my many falls to the ground and I had to stop at one point to swallow the blood filling my mouth. 

That was when I realized. My lip wasn't bleeding. Blood was coming from the inside of my mouth. When the hell had that happened? Ah yes... broken jaw. 

My assailants seemed to be very annoyed with my teasing because one of them swiftly hit me with another silencing charm and I wanted to scream.

How the hell was I going to get out of this with no wands, no voice, and no help? 

My attackers seemed to be trying to discuss what to do with me without speaking. I watched them for a moment, exchanging significant glances. All of them keeping one eye on me and their wands pointing to my heart.

Stealthily though I slipped my hand into my pocket to see if I had anything that could help me. I felt two hard round things and a bit of lint.

Trying to remember where I had gotten the two round things it all came back to me, Dumbledore!

I had been in his office having one of our little meetings/training sessions (it depended on if we were in the mood to talk or do magic) and he had offered me some lemon drops before I left. 

I had refused seeing as I am really not too fond of the sour treats. Well that and the fact that I am convinced that he puts some kind of calming or sedative potion in them so he can get the answers he wants. But he had insisted that I take some.

I took one from the aged man's hands and he had looked up at me, his eyes serious and intense and he said, "Harry I believe you will need at least two."

I had been somewhat spooked by his intense gaze and had responded, "Right, I'm sure that once I try one I won't be able to resist another right?"

His eyes had softened and they began twinkling once more. "Quite right my boy, quite right. After all my fascination with the sweets began with one free sample a very long time ago...and look at me now!" he answered placidly. 

Feeling the hard candies under my fingers a plan began to form in my mind. It would involve some **very** difficult spells (which I would have to do without a wand and without a voice). 

I was still debating over whether or not to even try what I was thinking when my attackers seemed to come to a conclusion. They had all lifted their wands simultaneously some spell on their lips when I made my split second choice.

I might as well try it.

I threw my legs out in a swiping motion once more tripping the three goons, 'WHEN were they going to learn?'

And I, still on the floor placed the two candies down in front on me. I quickly stood at the same time as my attackers and focused. 

I built a very flimsy shield around myself and the two treats wandlessly; and as the enemy threw spells at it, I focused on the candies. 

I tried to remember everything McGonagall had told me about the spell I was attempting. I focused on each part of the candies in front of me. It didn't take too long to get their exact images in my mind. I then focused on slowly changing their shapes.

Once they were in the relative shapes I wanted them to be (in my mind that is) I focused on the details. Everything had to be perfect if this was going to work.

My enemies must have thought I was crazy standing there staring at two yellow pieces of candy. But I was very focused and was beyond caring. 

Once I had them exactly the way I wanted them in my minds I prepared to cast the spell on them. 

It was this exact moment when my attackers finally broke my shield. I was hit with a burning hex and I screamed as I seemingly burned alive. 

All the while I was still focusing on keeping the images I had created of the candies in my mind. I couldn't loose the exact pictures now, or else I would have to do it all again. 

And at this rate I wouldn't get the chance to do it again. 

When the spell was taken off I did not look at my opponents I simply stared at the candies with renewed focus and held out my left hand (my right one still had splinters in the wrist and it hurt a lot to move it now).

Thinking the words, 'Aedifico biformatus' as I could not say them, I prayed that this worked. 

After a few seconds I heard the startled gasps of my three remaining assailants and I knew I did it. I opened my eyes and right before me instead of lemon drops there were...

...two other Harry Potters.

And they had wands. 

~*~*~*~*~

Author (C. Night) Notes: Done! I hadn't planned to stop there. Originally I was going to finish out this whole scene with the 5 attackers, but I thought it was a great place to stop. So thanks to two little lemon drops its three on three... go Harry! If anything was confusing let me know. I am not sure how great a job I did with the spell casting and fighting, but I thought it was good enough.

_Special thanks to the following for reviewing the last chapter:_

_NightSerpent_ (NS): Glad you approve of the Harry/Blaise thing lol. More to come with her, but as of right now Harry's a bit preoccupied.

_Sea- Turtles_: Ah yes the freedom that comes with writing. Lots of fun. Blaise does appear to be keeping him sane so far. Slytherins helping Gryffindors... who'd a thunk it! 

_SilverDragonHawk__:_ I am on a favorite's list! Wow... you rock so hard! Thanks! :)

_linky2_: Yes Adrianna is a bit weird now isn't she. The conversation Harry had with her though was key. Harry hasn't realized it yet (cuz he's just dumb lol) but there is something very significant about Adrianna. 

_Elayne Sedai_: Harry's sarcasm is very very fun to write. I also like the little flash backs. You learn a lot about Harry through them, but I am not sure how you guys like them. And I have read both of those stories by Ruskbyte they are great. I guess my Harry is a bit like that. Only he isn't on a drug...yet lol. j/k 

Until next time...**review!**

~*~*~*~*~


	5. Attack of the Clones

Author: C. Night

Rating: PG-13

Category: Action/Adventure & Mystery 

Disclaimer: Anything that you, Harry Potter fan that you are, recognize does not belong to me nor do I claim credit for it. J.K. Rowling and a bunch of other lucky people claim credit for the H.P. universe. I do NOT. The title obviously does not fully belong to me and is a reference to in Star Wars Episode II which I don't take credit for either. 

Note: If you still don't get the thinking talking thing you are beyond hope now. :-P On another note I'm sorry this one took much longer to shell out. This is mainly due to my schedule which as of right now is ridiculously full! After midterms week after next I'll be more focused on this little story of mine and will probably update more often. I probably should be studying for my Accounting Midterm right now, but I was really feeling a bout of inspiration today. Lucky for you! Enjoy! 

**Important Note:** In Chapter 4 (2 lemon drops) Harry referred to his attackers as Death Eaters. Purely an assumption (or a reflexive way of thinking) on his part. Do remember that this is in his point of view so if he thinks they are death eaters- that is what I write. I will not confirm or deny anything. 

Title: Getting Out or Dying Trying 

Chapter 5: Attack of the Clones 

I must tell you, it is quite the experience looking at two copies of your exact image. I honestly never though my hair looked quite as messy as it actually does. It sticks up... practically vertically in the back.

And when people say my eyes are green... they REALLY are. We're talking about emeralds here. They glisten and seem to darken and lighten periodically. They sort of shine... suck you in. You feel like you're...

Bloody hell! I almost got lost in my own eyes. Can we say Gilderoy Lockhart wanna be? Snap out of it! I focus.

Three attackers for them. 

Three attackers for me. 

Two wands on my side.

Three on their side.

I stood a chance. I must admit I was shocked. Then I remembered that the clones would need commands in order to be at all useful. I wondered how vague I could be and still have them fight properly. After all, I wasn't about to guide both of them through every dodge and each cast spell. Impossible! 

Nope. I couldn't do that and keep my own arse in line. Not a chance.

Ok, my attackers were slowly getting over their shock at my little trick so I decide to figure out how to command them and soon. I could definitely  feel something different in my... mind? Yes I suppose it was my brain. 

It was as if the section of my brain which I use to formulate my own strategies had been suddenly divided in three. And yet oddly enough I wasn't uncomfortable with it. I aimed the thought 'Raise your wands' toward my two newest divisions and to my surprise (and immense happiness) the two Clone-Harrys raised their wands.

I decided to see how vague I could get with the commands, and while my three attackers seemed to be mesmerized simply by the fact that my clones could move I thought, 'Fire spells.'

Clone 1 decided to go with the tickling jinx while Clone 2 opted for the burning hex.

I was shocked. Very shocked. I had only used the burning hex once and it was under the careful guidance of Professor Flitwick. The hex was horrendous.

And as I had just been put under it minutes before I could feel some sympathy for the attacker who went down to the ground screaming in pain. 

Her screams (as they did indeed sound vaguely feminine) seemed to startle her cohorts into action and the one who had not been hit by either spell tackled Clone 2 to the ground. 

'Hum... why not just hit it with a spell?' I thought vaguely.

I didn't really get to contemplate that idea as much as I would have liked seeing as the attacker who had been hit with the tickling jinx had taken it off and was heading for me. 

I tried to scream out a spell to test if the Silencing Charm previously put on me had expired yet only to find, to my dismay, that it was still perfectly effective. 

So I dodged the spell my current attacker was sending at me and ran around the room. I dodged in between my battling clones each of which were fighting one of the remaining two assailants. And I swiftly directed one to give me its wand as fast as possible and take my place. 

It was a very close call but I managed to switch positions with Clone 1 and now my attacker was chasing a copy of me.

'Git,' I thought as I saw Clone 1 dodging spells shot at him by the unknowing assailant. 

I turned back to face the navy clad aggressor Clone 1 had been facing off with before I switched places and knew immediately that this goon knew that they were facing the real me.

Spells came at me in rapid succession and it was all I could do to keep dodging. My prolonged silence seemed to confirm the fact that I was the real Harry Potter in the mind of my attacker as he or she seemed to be trying to draw me into a corner and finish me off. 

I was about to command one or both of my clones to give up their individual squabbles and come help me out when I both felt and heard something on my arm.

Estine! Of course! Somehow I had forgotten the presence of my trusty snake on my arm during the struggle.

And we had an idea...

I smirked slightly as I allowed my attacker to draw me into a corner of the room. 

'This moron thinks they've got me beat,' I thought impishly as I saw the attacker's moves get a bit slower and a bit more haughty. 

As he or she (although by this time I was under the distinct impression that this was a woman) brought their wand point to my neck I licked my lips.

Naughty, I know. But I couldn't help savoring the delightfully wicked lesson I was going to teach this over-confident witch about messing with Harry Potter. 

Just as she was about to say something (Avada Kedavra no doubt) I whipped Estine out from behind me and the snake obediently sunk his fangs into the woman's navy robes and undoubtedly into the tender flesh of her collar bone area. 

And then she (now I knew it was a she) screamed bloody murder... while I laughed.

Evil I know but I couldn't help it.

She thought she had me! Take that! Never underestimate me! Never! I felt like yelling it aloud... but I don't have a voice.

Wait! Was I not just laughing?

Aloud?

Ha! I'm back in the game and thanks to Clone number 1 _lending_ me his wand I was ready to fight.

Now I am not really sure what kind of snake Estine is but I found myself hoping that he wasn't poisonous. 

As I ran away from the girl who was clutching at her now bleeding neckline and seemingly struggling to stay conscious I thought, 'Well it was all in self defense!'

As Clones 1 & 2 battled it out with the last two attackers I made my way toward the little boy I had left in the corner. 

Now that I am much closer to the boy and in a more coherent state than I was the last time I looked at him, I notice that he bears a remarkable resemblance to Adrianna.

Though he does not have the same sky blue eyes he still has the same exact shade of red hair and their complexion is just about the same.

In fact, I would say that they look just about as alike as me and my clones do. Er- besides being of opposite sexes and... well... you know what I mean... 

Glancing quickly back at my two clones to make sure every thing is under control, I am amazed by their skill. They are hardly ever hit with a spell and when they are they are quick to over come it (which probably has something to do with the fact that they are magically created beings).

Even Clone number 1, whose wand I had taken, but had not yet used, was doing remarkable well pretending to be without a voice and dodging spells. 

I decided then that I should leave. 

I should take this boy and leave the clones to finish this.

Estine seemed to agree as he hissed frantically in agreement when I mentioned it. So I carefully picked up the still unconscious child and carried him to the door.

Using the borrowed wand which (obviously) was an exact replica of mine, I unlocked and opened the door. 

Interestingly enough neither of the two remaining attackers noticed my exit. My clones were just so... skilled.

Closing the door behind myself Estine and the child snuggled in my robes I contemplated my options. 

This child obviously could not stay with me. 

But where exactly could he go? If only I knew where Adrianna was. They MUST be related. I could... I don't know... give him to her to look after. 

I was walking down a long corridor. Doors were on the right and the left and I had no idea where I was going. 

Plus I was getting tired of holding this kid. Who thinks it's time for an Enervate?

I DO!

Gently laying the boy on the floor I cast the charm on him and smiled slightly when his eyes opened. 

How could I not smile when seeing those light brown eyes automatically brought Blaise to the forefront of my (slightly crazed) mind?

He groaned and I cast an overall healing charm on him. Though not permanent the nifty little spell would last him for now. 

He smiled at me when the pain left him and I brushed his red hair away from his forehead to in an exact mimic of the motion Madam Pomfrey has done to me each time I visit her wing. 

The boy leans into the touch and I am suddenly overcome with a feeling of brotherly affection.

How similar this kid was to me! Being hurt by those around him for no reason (or none that I could see). Obviously craving affection...

My heart went out to the little tyke. 

"What's your name pal?" I asked him in an unruffled tone.

"Andrew," he answered back raising a hand to rub at his eyes as he did so

Andrew and Adrianna. Now those were names for a set of twins if I ever heard them.

"Say Andrew do you happen to know a little girl by the name of-" 

My question was interrupted by a loud crash from down the corridor. I could hear voices shouting and two of them distinctly sounded like mine.

'Time to go!' I thought as I snatched Andrew up and ran further down the hall.

"POTTER!" I heard a voice yell and I almost stopped in my shock.

I didn't recognize the voice, it was yet another that obviously had a distortion charm on it, but I was still surprised. It sounded like a girl... I wondered distantly if this was the girl who now had two fang markings on her neck. 

'But, since when do these people talk anyway?' I thought as I continued to run.

Andrew, I could tell, was beginning to get uncomfortable, but there wasn't much I could do for the kid. I knew he wouldn't be able to keep up with my pace so we just had to keep going.

For all I knew we were going in the opposite direction of the exit, but I didn't really care.

Suddenly, I had somewhat of an idea. 

Feeling the two divisions of my brain which I used to command my clones, I 'told' the two to do whatever it took to keep the people wearing blue robes away from the end of the hall.

And instinctively feeling the need to do so I ducked into one of the many rooms in the hallway and slammed the door behind myself, the seemingly shocked- into- silence Estine, and Andrew. 

Almost immediately I heard two thunderous explosions from the part of the hallway which I had just left. 

And then there was silence.

I waited a while. Andrew seemed thankful for the pause and Estine continued to mutter, "Master runs from booms! Master runs from booms!" until I snapped at the snake to shut it.

It was probably around five minutes after Estine went silent that even started thinking about opening that door. 

The room the three of us were in was fairly empty. Perhaps an old library there were empty book shelves lining the walls and a few worn chairs around.

It seemed that we were getting closer to the part of the castle in which people lived.

'That's good,' I thought as I looked Andrew over.

The young boy seemed to be fascinated by Estine and hadn't said a word since the first time he was him. 

His brown eyes shone with something akin to wonder as he glanced between me and the snake. 

"What is it?" I finally asked Andrew after another minute or so.

"I'm sorry for staring," the boy said startled out of his reverie, "but this snake is..."

"Is..?" I prompted when the boy seemed reluctant to answer.

"Is deadly," the boy finally answered.

My heart clenched in my rib cage and I could hardly breathe.

I mean yes I was defending myself... and yes she was trying to kill me, but that woman.

Who ever she was... who I had instructed Estine to bite was going to... die.

And there was no one to blame but myself. 

Andrew it seemed had been still talking as I came to these sickening and very depressing conclusions.

"The cure to their venom is well known, but Papa always forbids me to even go near one. I was a bit shocked to see it sitting there on your arm... forgive me for starring... er.. Mister..."

"Potter," I answered unthinkingly. "It's Harry Potter."

"Are you really?" Andrew asked predictably. "My father talks about you all the-"

However I wasn't really listening to hear how much Andrew's father talks about me I was thinking about the snake bite. Whoever that girl was she could easily get the antidote to the venom at least according to Andrew and plus Estine was inside the house when I found him. Surely the owner of this house has a stock of the antidote somewhere... just in case. 

'Everything,' I determined finally, 'would be fine.'

'And so what if it didn't turn out alright!' I suddenly thought angrily, 'she was about to kill me!' 

Caught up in my anger I decided to damn to hell whatever was outside that door. I had a job to do. Andrew needed to get back where he belonged and I needed to get back to Hogwarts. 

Still fueled by my anger I told Andrew and Estine in clipped tones to stay just inside the door while I checked out the hallway. 

When I opened the door I was in for a surprise. 

My clones, it seemed, had self destructed in order to prevent the attackers from catching me. 

The hallway was a shambles. 

The doors had scorch marks on them from the blow and the magical energy once contained in my clones seemed to be crackling in the air. 

Looking around I couldn't see the remains of my clones, but I did see the navy blue clad bodies of my attackers. 

My 'hero instinct' kicked in and I rushed over to check if they were alive. If my clones were truly anything like me at all, the two attackers had to be alive. 

And they were. It seemed that they were simply knocked out. I was about to go grab Andrew and Estine and begin to question Andrew for all the possible exits to his house when I heard a noise behind me. 

I turned quickly ducking my head to avoid a spell... that wasn't there.

There was no one there. 

Apparently I was becoming as delusional as the papers said I was all last year. 

I turned back to the bodies of the two attackers and was about to unmask them when I was hit from behind by something small and yet powerful.

Something that was screaming like a bloody banshee. 

"HARRY!!"

I went down hard on the ground which was littered with splinters of wood and bits of broken glass. Most of which managed to lodge itself in my already bruised and shredded up face. 

Cursing up a storm, I whipped my head around from the floor only to see that it was Andrew who had pushed me down. I was about to yell back at the screaming boy when I saw the final navy blue attacker running toward the two of us.

She (though her voice was still disguised I was beginning to be able to spot both the tone of her voice and certain body movements) shot a strong blinding spell at Andrew and I pushed him out of the way, foolishly taking the spell myself. 

I was thinking of about 10 different ways to try to blindly take this girl out while at the same time protecting Andrew when something I never expected occurred. 

The attacker snatched Andrew off of my back and from what I could hear took him and ran back down the hall. 

I could hear him screaming my name and I yelled back, "ANDREW!"

As I desperately tried to follow the two down the hall, I suddenly remembered the wand which I had taken from my clone and searched for it desperately; hoping to use it to undo the blinding spell and chase after Andrew whose childish voice was growing fainter and fainter as he got farther away from me. 

It took me about a minute of groping to realize that the wand which had been created with my Clone had most likely disappeared now that the clone had self destructed. It was hopeless. 

Andrew was gone. 

And I was alone, hurt, and nearly exhausted. 

So I sat down on the floor littered with debris from the explosions...

And waited for my eyesight to return.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Author (C. Night) Notes: Another one done. I liked this one. It was fun to write. I loved Andrew. Sniff, poor kid. ::tears begin to well up:: Alright... that's enough. 

_To everyone who's reading: thanks a bunch and to one and all please REVIEW! _

_Now to the wonderful people who did review the last chapter:_

_Chady_ : This story will continue until Harry gets out of wherever he is (that is assuming he makes it) and then I will have a nice chapter in which all the little hints I've been dropping are revealed. That should be the most fun chapter to write (and read). Thanks for reviewing! 

_Linky2_: Thanks for reviewing!

_NightSerpent_ (NS): I am glad you like the sarcasm, sometimes I worry if it's a bit OC, but I figure screw it. Harry's mine now and I shall do what I want with him... hehehe! Thanks for reviewing! 

_Wanderingwolf_: Glad you liked it. All shall be revealed in due time... ::insert evil laugh:: Thanks for reviewing! 

_Elayne Sedai: _My first evil cliffe. Glad you approve. And yes the summary will connect with how Harry got there but you've got a bit of a wait til then. And out of curiosity how exactly did you think of your name? Very unique. Thanks for reviewing!

_Sea Turtles_: I would have to say that I am Dumbledore-ish and that I do indeed like lemon drops, although interestingly enough I hate lemons. I can't just eat one. But everything lemon related I enjoy. Thanks for reviewing!

_Skaped_: Hope this chapter was exciting enough for you! lol I'll keep writing as long as you all keep reviewing. Thanks!

Until next time... **review!**

~*~*~*~*~*~*~


	6. Crimson Tears

Author: C. Night

Rating: PG-13

Category: Action/Adventure & Mystery 

Disclaimer: Anything that you, Harry Potter fan that you are, recognize does not belong to me nor do I claim credit for it. J.K. Rowling and a bunch of other lucky people claim credit for the H.P. universe. I (sadly) do NOT. 

A/N: In celebration of the end of midterms (for me anyway) - a new chapter. And it's pretty long too! Enjoy & Review! 

Title: Getting Out or Dying Trying 

Chapter 6: Crimson Tears

Silence.

That was all I could hear. 

If I wasn't so angry I'd probably be crying. 

How could I have been so stupid? Andrew is gone. I am blind, wandless (AGAIN!), and I have attained just about every injury imaginable. I feel like shit and I want... no _I need_ to go home. 

I rub at my eyes in some kind of futile attempt to rub my sight back and I curse when I tiny shard of glass from my hand scratches my eyelid. 

A drop of blood forms and I can feel it slowly slipping down my shut eye. I wait and then feel it sliding down my cheek. 

I imagine that it looks like I am crying blood. 

The small droplet seems to have run itself out and stops midway down my cheek. I get a vivid mental image of myself, bruised and battered, sitting on the floor in a pile of glass shards and crying tears of blood. 

The image disturbs me and for a split second I am glad of my blindness. 

For without sight I cannot see the shell of my former self I have become through this episode. 

Still, I feel the urge to stand, as if to prove to anyone watching or maybe just to myself that this wasn't over yet. My vision had to return soon and I would be back with vengeance... I hope.

I stand and my fingers grip the wall. I believe that when one looses one sense it is commonly known that all the other are somewhat heightened. 

Well apparently Harry Potter has something else which is different about him. MY senses seemed to be extraordinarily heightened. I could feel each crack and crevice in the wall before me and it was almost as if I could _sense_ it. 

Even without my eye sight I could practically _see_ the wall before me. I could smell my blood on my cheek and I could taste the saliva in my mouth. Everything was suddenly finely tuned.

I could feel the world, hear the world, smell the world and taste the world better than I ever could before. I felt flushed. 

I felt high. 

Now I have never been high in my life. I've never had the means or the particular desire but from what I had heard Dudley and his friends talking about I was just about as high as you could get. 

I felt elated and unafraid. I felt _invincible_. 

I felt like Harry Potter, the boy who lived through the killing Curse, should feel- like I could take on the world. 

I put both of my hands on the wall and inhaled deeply. It was overwhelming me, swallowing me whole. I was drowning and screaming and crying and laughing... I was...

...enlightened. 

The entire castle layout had been thrust upon my mind. I couldn't see it, but I could feel it. It felt like I had just absorbed the blueprint of the castle. 

I laughed aloud and spun in a circle.

Not the best thing to do when you are blind and on some kind of overload from the layout of a magical castle. 

I collapsed. I fell unconscious. 

I cursed my foolishness.

When I woke up from my little "nap" I had no idea of the time and Estine was slithering up my arm.

I stared at him for a moment. Admiring his beautiful scales and then took note of the fact that my eyesight had returned. 

"Master up! Master up! Master up!" the snake hissed in a monotone voice. 

I stared at the creature with my brow furrowed. 

"What's up with you?" I hissed.

Estine seemed to be shocked at my response. Apparently the little snake had not known I was awake. I wondered just how long he had sat there chanting that little mantra. 

"MASTER UP!" the snake hissed loudly, straightening himself to peer into my eyes. 

"Yes, I gathered that," I responded bitingly.

Estine continued to hiss something, but once again I was tuning him out. I was focusing. Apparently my little jaunt in the world of "being high off of your 4 senses" had still left me with the knowledge of the castle. 

And...

I knew where an exit was! 

I snatched Estine up mid sentence (something about him hunting for rats for me to eat... disgusting! Although there is one rat that I'd love for him to catch.) and sprinted down the hallways.

I went faster and faster pressing my muscles to their limits. Right...

Left... through the door...

Down the hall....

Down the stairs...

Right...

And... OUT!

I pushed the door open with a gigantic heave and it slammed against the outside wall. The seemingly metal structure emitted a loud 'gong' and Estine hissed in annoyance at the reverberation.

I however was not concerned with that. I was relishing the sight before my eyes.

I was outside. 

The fresh, crisp air burning in my lungs. It appeared to be either late afternoon or early evening I couldn't really tell however as the skies were clouded with puffy gray masses. 

"Looks like snow," I whispered to Estine. I am not really sure why I whispered, but it was one of those moments in life when you just whisper. 

As if you've entered a church or a classroom filled with students. It is not exactly necessary to whisper, but you do anyway.

I was cherishing the moment. 'The moment,' I said to myself, 'that I finally escaped this nightmare.' 

I took a step outside and the graying grass crunched under my trainers. Estine retreated to the inside of my sleeve, curled tightly against my arm attempting, desperately to avoid the bitter edge of the cold. 

I, however, did not mind. It felt as though I had been suffocating in that castle, overheating, stuck in the sauna from hell with no way out. And now, I was free, breathing the cool air I wanted to scream out my joy for everyone to here. 

But I didn't- too risky. The blue robed phantoms (as I began to refer to them) could be anywhere and I'd rather not push my luck. 

As if suddenly remembering that it was there I ran one of my hands over my broken jaw as I walked toward the large forest to my right. My palm ran over the stubble developing on my jaw line and cheek and I sighed, "Can't go 24 hours without shaving," I said aloud. 

I nearly laughed at the thought; I think the least of my problems right now should be where to get a razor (or a wand to do it the magical way).

I sighed as I thought about just how much I had grown up since last year. Once the midget of my year, I'd say I've done pretty well.

Alright well I am still one of the shortest boys in my year... ok I am still _the shortest_ but it isn't my fault! 5 foot 6 inches is pretty good. At least I am now two decent inches taller than Hermione and about half of the other girls in my year.

And I have matured in other ways. The shaving thing was definitely a surprise. A bit of fuzz developed on my cheek and chin over the summer I spent training (at an undisclosed location... which cannot even be revealed to my subconscious) but when Remus finally asked me if I needed to borrow a razor I was a bit shocked to say the least.

I find that while I don't mind letting a five o'clock shadow show on my face every now and then (when I am too lazy to shave it) growing a beard or a moustache seems WAY too old... and way too Dumbledore. 

I also filled out a bit. Thank goodness. Spending a summer with food available to me whenever I wanted it... amazing what it does for a person. 

You may wonder why I didn't develop during the school year when I get food regularly every day. I would think that would be because of stress. 

Though I love Hogwarts it is insanely stressful and although my summer was a bit stressed it was nothing compared to dealing with Triwizard tournaments, Dementors, and insane High Inquisitors. 

So Harry Potter finally filled out... and got a bloody good haircut. For the first time in my life I actually got a haircut which I like. Of course my hair is still insanely messy but it is shorter. Easier to deal with and if I use enough gel Remus and I discovered that I can actually get it to look somewhat styled.

Not that I ever waste my time doing that every day. Who do I look like, Draco Malfoy?

I was a bit self conscious about my scar being a bit more easily seen as my hair (which used to be able to obscure the entire lightning bolt if pressed flat) can now cover only about half of it.

Training also got me a decent set of lean muscles. 'Not that they are very happy with me at the moment,' I thought as my legs continued to scream out in pain at my previous sprint through the castle.

All in all I now look like a 16 year old. 

Shocking isn't it? 

Remus also insisted that I buy myself some half decent clothes while we were out getting school supplies so I guess I look normal now. 

The female reaction seemed to me to be non existent, but Hermione seems to think its not. Every now and then she will say that according to Lavender and Parvati I look "dark and mysterious" when I don't shave in the morning. 

I am not sure if that is true or if she is just looking for an incentive for me to shave- as she hates it when I don't. 

Either way it worked. The last thing I need is Lavender hanging on my arm clamoring on about my new "look". 

For her own safety I think that she'd better steer clear of Blaise while discussing my new sense of style.

That could get ugly. 

My new clothes seemed to have struck a cord with Ron, but he has been a better sport about it recently as it has been about 4 months since school started now. 

I jolt back to reality when I realize that I have been absentmindedly rubbing my broken jaw which now hurts like hell. 

I replaced my hand in my pocket and sighed when I reached the very edge of the forest.

'I guess it's now or never,' I thought. 'But then why am I so terrified?'

"Ah! Yes the no wand thing could be an issue!" I say aloud. "How the hell am I getting through the Forbidden Forest with no wand?"

"Luck Master. Luck," I hear Estine respond to my question from my sleeve. 

I smirk; yes I guess its time for Harry Potter to get lucky. And fast. 

I approached the forest and paused. "Urg... I wish I had a wand," I muttered. Estine poked my lightly on the arm with his head in annoyance. 

"Alright, alright, I'm GOING!" I whined as I walked straight into the forest. 

It seemed to not be as bad as I had thought. 

I found somewhat of a trail and Estine continued to hiss at me if I ever strayed from my perfectly eastward destination.

Apparently snakes had a terrific sense of direction.

Right foot, left foot, 

Right foot left foot, 

HISS! Turn slightly left, right foot, left foot...

The forest was getting darker and I was beginning to get nervous.

The cold air was nipping at my nose and it seemed that my fingertips had no feeling in them whatsoever.

I stumbled on a jagged rock and fell to the hard, cold ground. 

I cursed as I felt Estine slithering underneath my right arm. The poor snake probably got hurt worse than I did. 

I quickly jumped up and examined his body.

"Estine is alright Master," the snake said solemnly. His tone shocked me as I had never heard the jolly snake sound anything less than... well jolly.

"If you're sure," I said to my companion.

"Continue on Master, continue," he responded. 

So I did.

The forest was getting colder and darker and although I had not been approached by anything yet the noises around me were getting louder, and more and more foreboding. 

There were many creatures in this forest, of this I was sure, but it seemed to me that they were warning me. Urging me to get out now while I still could and they would not harm me. Unfortunately I could not comply with the request.

It must have been at least an hour later when it began to snow. 

The flakes coated my cloak and gave my hair a fine misting of what looked like powdered sugar.

'So it looks like we get a white Christmas after all,' I thought. 'But WHY couldn't it wait until I wasn't _freezing to death_ in the Forbidden Forest?' 

"Well, Estine now seems to be the ideal time for me to get lucky. How do you suggest I go about doing that?"

But for the first time, Estine seems to be annoyed with me for speaking, "Master must hush! Master quiet, must quiet!"

I obediently ceased talking and continued to march on, being much more alert now that it seemed that something had Estine on edge.

Silence. 

"He comes! HE COMES!" Estine hissed loudly breaking the eerie silence that had descended upon us for about a half hour.

"What? Who?" I said urgently to the snake. "Who is coming? What's wrong?"

"Master must run, master must hide!" 

Not questioning the snake I tightened my grip on him and turned to find a hiding place, but my plan was cut short.

"No!" Estine hissed once more, "Master must leave Estine. Master must go alone so he will not find him. Master go, GO!" 

"What?" I hissed back confused, "I am not leaving you out here alone!! We're either both going or no one is!"

Estine looked at me in panic, "Master knows not of Neolik! Master Neolik evil! Neolik will hurt good kind master of Estine! Master Neolik will crush master... pound! Crush!"

Estine then proceeded to describe (with sound effects) just what this Neolik fellow had done to his last master. 

To say I was revolted would be an understatement. 

As Estine made yet another crunching sound... I revise that statement. A massive understatement. 

"Well," I interrupted the storytelling snake, "Let's get out of here!"

I turned to run with Estine, but was surprised to find that he had slid from my wrist and hit the floor. The snake was obviously trying to separate and spare "his good kind Master" from the wrath of the terrible Neolik.

'Well screw that!' I thought. 'Let's leave the hero complexes to me thank you very much!'

I dove down across the snow powdered ground and snatched the snake up before he could get away from me. 

"NO! Estine we are going to face this Neolik. And we are going to do it together!" I yelled at the struggling snake. 

"Well," a silk hiss broke into the conversation, "It appears that little Estine has found himself another master. And look who it is- Harry Potter. What an _honor_." 

I looked up sharply from my position on the floor and found myself staring straight into the red eyes of a vile, huge and most definitely poisonous snake.

I screamed. You would have too. And I, startled, quickly snatched up Estine, and backed away from the 6 foot long, at least half a foot wide being.

The disgusting snake hissed at me in what I distinctly recognized as a laugh, "This is the brave and mighty Harry Potter who has escaped the master of my young sister so many times before?"

I paused in shock, 'The master of his sister?? What the hell?' And then I figured it out.

There was only one person who I had escaped on many an occasion- Voldemort. And Voldemort, though master to many people, was only the master of one snake- Nagini.

Looking back at the so called Neolik I could see the resemblance and where else would Tom Riddle, a Hogwarts graduate get a snake to be his servant but the Forbidden Forest. 

"And this is the mighty Neolik? I must say that I am disappointed. Estine described you as such a great creature. Not some vile scum unworthy of gracing the bottom of my shoes," I responded in a mocking hiss.

Estine looked just about really to strike me if it would get me to shut my mouth. 

I was not concerned; I was discreetly trying to slip away. Though stepping slowly backwards was pretty pointless when Neolik kept drawing ever closer.

Then I made my big mistake.

I turned my head slowly and tried to see if there was anything behind myself and Estine. The plan was that if there was nothing obstructing our path I could turn and try to sprint away from the snake. 

After all what was the point of ever trying to fight this snake with no wand?

But when I turned my head slightly to the side Neolik struck like lightning and I felt two fangs sink into my neck.

The position of the strike was eerily similar to the exact spot where Estine had thrust his fangs in the blue clad woman's neck hours ago.

I started vaguely at the thought that that event was a few mere hours ago.

It felt like a lifetime.

My hand somehow found its way to my neck and it was immediately coated with my red coppery blood. The liquid seeped on to my fingertips covering my entire hand in moments like a sleek fitting glove.

'Those fangs must be huge,' I thought dimly as my blood continued to pour out of my neck. 

Estine was hissing up a storm and I almost fainted when the snake sprang from my arm and sunk his little fangs into the much larger snake's body. 

Neolik seemed to scream out (or at least hiss in a way very similar to a scream) and thrashed about until my precious little Estine was flung from his body. 

The little snake hit a nearby tree with a sickening smack and when he hit the floor he was not moving. 

I screamed out louder and more viciously than I have since Sirius's death. 

"No, no, no," I muttered under my breath, "he's not dead. No he's not." 

"Oh Harry Potter look what you've done," Neolik hissed at me and before the snake could even hiss out another word I was advancing on him. 

I had never felt angrier in my life and as blood seeped from the gashes in my neck I understood something with more clarity than I ever had in my life. 

Neolik must die.

My right fist clenched and my nails bit into the flesh of my palms. I had no weapon. I was going to rip this snake apart with my bare hands. 

I ran faster than I ever had in my life and tackled the huge snake down to the ground. 

It thrashed under me and I could feel it beginning to twist itself around my legs. Neolik, it seemed was going to try to strangle me. 

"You wish," I muttered aloud with a slightly crazed tone to my voice. 

But I realized with a start that the snake was much stronger than me and that if I didn't do something I was going to to end up just as Estine had described his last master... dead, dead, dead, crush, pound, splat. 

The thought of Estine made me pause. Neolik seemed to take my halt in motion as a sign of my surrender as he seemed to be now taking his time to wrap me up in himself.

Previously he had been going faster as I had been struggling. I had just bought myself a few more seconds.

I tried to think of what I did the last time I was faced with a huge snake after me, but unfortunately it id not look like the Sword of Gryffindor would be coming to aid me this time. 

But WAIT! Dumbledore said it only would have come to me if I was a true Gryffindor. 

There has to be someway I could get it now. Even without Fawkes or the Sorting Hat. 

I just had to think. Alas that was becoming difficult as my air supply was getting limited. I wrenched my arm up and out of the tight hold Neolik had it in and inhaled deeply before the extra space I had created by removing my arm was gone. 

Neolik tightened around me once more. 

But both my arms were still free.

I focused on my reasons for wanting the sword- to avenge my wonderful snake. 

I focused on the cruel deed done to my lovely Estine. 

I focused on my impending doom. Oops not a good idea to think about that... er-

I focused on everything Estine had done for me...

I felt something in my right hand. It was cold and sleek and had a few round lumps coming out of it. 

I was too afraid to open my eyes and look. I wanted to pray that it really was it. I wanted to...

Neolik tightened around me once more and I decided, 'Bugger this I'm looking!'

I opened my eyes and there it was... The Sword of Gryffindor in all its glory. The egg sized rubies were glistening in the hilt just as I remembered them. The name of Godric Gryffindor was engraved on it I was sure, but I didn't have the time to look. 

I used what little room I had left to maneuver and thrust the sword deep into the treacherous snake wrapped around me. 

Neolik hissed out in agony and I yanked the sword out and thrust it in again. 

I was caught up in some kind of rage and I plunged the sword in and out and in and out making dozens of huge gashed in the snake which of unfurling around me in its agony. 

All my suppressed anger, fear and fatigue were taken out on this snake. I almost cut my leg with the sword as I dealt yet another blow. And then I stopped.

Neolik was dead.

Of this I was sure, but Estine. Was he dead?

"Please, no," I whispered heatedly, "Please please, please no! I said nothing would happen! I promised! I promised!" 

I fell to the floor near Neolik's corpse and my vision was getting blurry. I distractedly remembered that I was still loosing dangerous amounts of blood from the gashes in my neck. 

It seemed that Neolik wasn't poisonous or, er- something because I wasn't dead or feeling too uncomfortable. 

Except from the blood loss and lightheadedness... and that sick feeling in my stomach... 

...ok maybe he was poisonous. 

I slowly crawled over to the tree which Estine had hit on his way to the ground. To tired to stand I clutched the Sword in my hand and crawled across the snow. 

I heard a slight rustling in the trees behind me and when I slowly turned back to look all I saw was a trail of blood in the once pristine white snow. 

I indistinctly wondered where all that blood was coming from.

Finally I got over to Estine's body and gently hissed to the immobile snake, "Estine get up. Master's here now. Up Estine! We've got to go now."

There was no response. 

I picked the snake up with my blood soaked hands and turned him over. His light green eyes were still open but had lost all of the life once in them.

Estine was dead. 

I had broken a promise. The first broken promise of my life. 

Estine was dead. 

I cried...finally. 

As the tears rolled down my face I wondered if I was crying blood.

'It seems that blood is coming out of every other part of my body,' I thought, 'why wouldn't it come from my eyes too?' 

I was saved from contemplating my crimson tears when the world went blissfully black around me. 

Silence. 

~*~*~*~*~*~

Author (C. Night) Notes: Not my longest chapter. But definitely one of my best. We shall miss you beloved snake. But alas he had to go. Go ahead and voice your protest if you are angry (by reviewing lol), but it had to happen. I even mentioned Neolik in the very first chapter. It was coming the whole time. Poor snake, but Harry's got finish this alone. We're getting toward the end folks another 3 or 4 chapters left. Maybe five, but that's a stretch. 

_Now to the wonderful people reviewed the last chapter...::sniff::... shorter list this time:_

_NightSerpent_ (NS): Yes well if you thought I was a mean evil writer then, I am sure you hate me now. Hehehe... this is fun! Keep reading and thanks for reviewing!

_SilverDragonHawk_: Adrianna and Andrew... poor little kids. More to come with them. I am glad you like Andrew he's the good twin... but what does that make Adrianna?? Hum... Keep reading and thanks for reviewing!

_Wandering wolf: _I wouldn't say I'm sadistic... ok yes I would. But it's just so much fun this way! Keep reading and thanks for reviewing!

_Sea Turtles_: The Andrew thing is a bit odd. I actually know no one with the name... part of why I chose it. If I write about characters with the same names as someone I know I tend to want to write them like the actual person. But anyway Andrew is a very nice little boy in my story so I'm sure the ones you know are very nice too. Keep reading and thanks for reviewing! 

Until next time... **review!**

* I'm telling you it isn't as bad as you think. _You don't even have to be a member of the site._ Press the Purple-ish button that says "Go" make up an interesting alias for yourself and tell me what you think. No big deal... and it makes me very happy! And who doesn't want that?? *

~*~*~*~*~*~*~


	7. The Periwinkle Twinkle

Author: C. Night

Rating: PG

Category: Action/Adventure & Mystery 

Disclaimer: Anything that you, Harry Potter fan that you are, recognize does not belong to me nor do I claim credit for it. J.K. Rowling and a bunch of other lucky people claim credit for the H.P. universe. I (sadly) do NOT. 

A/N: For anyone who is wondering I seem to be on an update-every-Friday schedule. So look out for me each Friday! 

Title: Getting Out or Dying Trying 

Chapter 7: The Periwinkle Twinkle 

I can feel awareness spreading through my body slowly and I savor the feeling.

I feel warm, safe and calm. I don't want to open my eyes. I want to- no _need_ to preserve this bliss. 

Slowly, I begin to feel more and more awake. I can hear the whispering of voices around me and I mutter, "Ron, you guys, shut up! I am trying to sleep!" 

I hear something I am sure is a snort and I suddenly remembered where I am. What I am up against... everything that has happened. I shudder slightly at the memory of Estine's death and I want to go back to sleep and never wake up.

But I can't do that. Not only because of the whole 'Must kill Voldemort thing but for a much simpler reason- I am curious.

Last I remembered I was outside, in the snow. And now I was inside comfortably wrapped in some sort of blanket. Perhaps someone found me!

'After all Dumbledore and McGonagall had to of sent someone to look for me; I may very well be in the Hogwarts infirmary!' 

The thought prompted me to open my eyes. Immediately they were assaulted with blue. It seemed as though the room I was in had been vandalized by some graffiti artists who were keen on the color blue.

The walls were painted a navy colored blue and had designs all over them in a lighter periwinkle blue. I couldn't make out what the designs were of exactly, but I didn't really care.

I can't stand the glaring blue which seems to be coming from everywhere and so I shut my eyes tightly. I hear someone chuckle lightly and say, "Looks like shorty here doesn't like the décor. I'm sure Abe will be crushed."

Laughter comes from somewhere on my right.

I tense immediately. The voices sound muffled and I realize that they have charms on them. I carefully open my eyes once again. 

This time the blue doesn't catch me off guard. I scope out the room taking in the eight people in there with me. Their blue robes seem to melt into the navy of the walls and it takes me a while to figure out where exactly each one is. 

It also probably took me a while as I was not wearing my glasses. The realization took me by surprise and I tried to take my arms out of the blanket to look for them. The blanket, however, seemed to have different plans. 

It tightens around me and I frustrated squirm a round in it. It would not relinquish its grip however and I suddenly found myself in a sticky spot.

Trapped in a blanket. 

I twist and push and try desperately to escape but it the blanket only seemed to get frustrated with my struggling and tightens around me. 

Finally I stop panting slightly and very red in the face. My embarrassment only increases when I notice that all of the blue robed figures (still all wearing hoods obscuring their faces) were laughing at my plight. 

I feel my face turning even redder when finally one of them seems to take pity on me and approaches with my glasses in his or her hand. He (I assume by the highly calloused fingers) gently places them on my face.

I can see clearly, but I am far from happy with my condition however and I get even more angry when one of the people in the room says, "Poor ickle Potter trapped by a blanket. Send for the Aurors this boy needs help!" 

The comment spurs another round of laughter and even the man who took pity on me and gave me my glasses seems to be unable to resist laughing. 

I am **furious**. 

My breathing becomes suddenly more labored and my eyes narrow dangerously. Someone says in between laughs, "Uh-oh you'd better watch out now. Potter is getting maaadddd!"

I shut my eyes against the gales of laughter this remark gains and I try to stay calm.

I failed. 

I screamed out bloody murder and I felt something inside me snap. I was about to rip apart the blanket with my teeth when I could feel, once again, the Sword of Gryffindor appear in my right hand under the blanket. 

With a flick of the wrist I slice through the blanket and rise to stand on top of the bed I had been lying on. 

The blue robed phantoms aren't laughing anymore. 

They as one pull their wands but before they can utter a spell I, still caught up in my rage, move the sword in a swiping motion out in front of me (pointing toward the enemies) and yell "Stupefy!"

I don't think I had ever been as surprised in my life as when all eight of them dropped to the floor in a dead faint. 

I, astonished, looked down at the Sword in my hand in awe. It had been much easier to summon it that time. I guess it was because I had done so previously and the sword was even closer to me that it was before. 

Still caught up in my surprise at the fact that I had cast a spell through a sword I found myself running my hand up and down the blade of the sword. Stupidly I pricked my index finger on the end of it and a drop of my blood landed on the blade. 

I moved to wipe the drop off with my robes (which by now were absolutely filthy) when I stopped in shock. The ruby red drop of blood shimmered for a second before turning a pure gold. 

A gasp escaped my lips as the golden drop seemed to be sucked into the silver blade. The sword then grew warm in my hand and when I made to drop it, I found I could not. 

Then, much to my shock the sword emitted a burst of pure white light. Blinded, I covered my eyes with my left hand feeling the sword grow very hot in my right. 

It was painful to hold and tears were developing in my eyes by the time the light had gone.

I looked back down at the sword, eerily aware of the silence in the room, and found to my annoyance that it was exactly the same. 

I switched the sword from my right to my left hand and my breath caught in my throat. I gazed at my uninjured, perfectly fine hand in wonderment. I had been sure that with the amount of heat coming off of the sword I was going to have a hand covered in oozing blisters.

But there was nothing. If anything the only difference in the sword seemed to be that it was cleaner. Annoyed I examined the sword even more closely. _Something_ had to have happened! 

And then I saw it. 

The inscription near the hilt, which in my second year had been emblazoned with the name _Godric__ Gryffindor,_ was now much different.

Exactly where the inscription I had gazed at reverently in my second year had once been there was a new inscription.

One which immediately made me feel light headed and just about sick with exhilaration. The sword now read:

_Harry Potter _

_Gryffindor Heir _

My vision swam before my eyes and I sat down on the bed I had still been standing on with a thud. The springs bounce gently beneath me as I think, 'There is no way!'

It was im-bloody-possible!

There was no way I was the heir of Gryffindor. Me, Harry Potter! Me- the kid who would have been sorted into Slytherin had he not been so set on not going there! 

I don't know how long I sat there in that hideously blue room in shock. Unwilling to believe there was yet another thing different about me. Then the anger set in. 

'Did Dumbledore know? Was he keeping it from me for my "protection" once again?!? If he was I was going to kill him! Damn it! Headmaster or not if he knew about this and kept quiet he would pay. I was going to take his lemon drops and-' 

My heated thoughts about Headmaster Dumbledore's fate were interrupted by a heavy groan from the ground.

'Oh yes,' I remembered, 'the Annoying Git Squad is still in here.' 

I lifted The Sword of Gryffi- no _my sword_ and lazily mumbled "Petrificus Totalus" at the aggressor who was moving were slowly on the floor.

It didn't work.

Alarmed I tried again with a bit more vigor. Once again- no results. 'Ok then, its time to go,' I thought hurriedly. 

I jumped off the somewhat comfortable bed on which I had been sitting and made for the door. 

Luckily the only blue robed moron who dared to move was seemingly still too effected by my first spell to do anything but mutter, "Don't.... go....didn't give you.... instruction" in my direction before slipping back into unconsciousness. 

"Right, don't go," I mumbled as I stepped over the sky blue blanket I'd torn to shreds earlier, "I'll just stay here with you then. Sorry mate, not going to happen."

I tucked my sword in between my belt and my pants, its ruby incrusted hilt preventing it from slipping and I opened the door. I glanced back in the room once more and noted that this was definitely some kid's bedroom. 

"Poor kid's going to come back only to find a bunch of unconscious weirdoes in his room. But... what can you do?" I mumble to my self as I step out of the room and close the door.

I smile for the first time since Estine died when I see that on the door which I had just closed there is a childish sign with a picture of a Billy Goat reading a book on it. Underneath the goat, written in bold print were the words "Abe's Room."

I still had a smile on my face even when I realized that I was back in the castle I had only recently managed to escape.

I racked my brain to come up with the layout of the castle I had somehow acquired when I had lost my eyesight, but I couldn't recall it. 

So I took to wandering the halls. I noticed that I was in the part of the castle where Andrew, Adrianna and Abe (I supposed) lived. Each room seemed to be a bedroom but surprisingly I ran into no one.

Idly I wondered if Andrew was safe as I tried to ignore the growling of my stomach. I hadn't eaten since...

I couldn't even remember...

Oh yes! The last time I had eaten had been on the night of December 23rd, probably three or four hours before I had found myself trapped in the cell.

I distinctly remembered walking out of the Gryffindor Tower something akin to snitches fluttering in my stomach as I walked determined to the kitchen. 

I remembered thanking my lucky stars that I had been able (after nearly a week and a half of reassuring and gentle prodding) to convince Ron and Hermione that I wanted them to go to the Burrow for the Christmas Holiday without me. 

The two had recently started dating and as I told them, "It was important for this Christmas to be spent with family. After all if Hermione was going to be the next Weasley the family had to have some alone time with her." 

That comment had triggered the brightest red blushes I had ever seen from the pair and after sending about 10 owls to Mrs. Weasley telling her I was sure I would be fine alone in the castle and I was _sure_ I didn't want to come I had freed myself for the holiday. No Hermione, no Ron, no anyone really. 

Only a very, very select few people had stayed at Hogwarts for the break seeing as the war with Voldemort was fully brewing and the teachers had encouraged students to go home both to spend more time with their families and to allow the faculty time to strengthen the wards around the school (the task was much easier with less people residing in the castle).

So there I was. Taking advantage of the less strictly enforced curfew during holiday and slowly making my way toward the kitchens. 

In what seemed like no time I was there and when the pear giggled revealing the hidden entrance I felt as though my heart was going to beat its way straight through my ribs. 

On the outside however I looked perfectly nonchalant. A skill I had steadily perfected over the summer Harry Potter no longer wore his heart on his sleeve at all times. 

But then of course there was one person who could always see through my masks. 

"Nervous? And here I was thinking this was just a casual glass of hot chocolate between...friends," a silky voice spoke from right behind me.

I cursed myself for quivering slightly at her voice and turned to face her- my expression blank. "Good evening Ms. Zabini," I drawled slowly as I mockingly bowed to her. As I stood straight I fanned my right arm out to the side (pointing into the kitchen) and indicated with a flourish that she should enter first.

She smirked, at me, but her light chocolate brown eyes twinkled Dumbledoreishly. "Well good evening to you as well Sir Potter," she said aristocratically as she stepped into the kitchen before me.

Dobby, faithful as ever, immediately appeared at my side as the portrait closed behind Blaise and I. "Harry Potter!" the house elf shrieked happily, "What is good Master Potter wanting Dobby to do??"

"Well, first Dobby let me introduce you to a good friend of mine- Blaise Zabini meet Dobby the House elf a very faithful mate of mine. Dobby, Blaise."

I admit I wasn't too sure how Blaise would react to my introducing her to a house elf as if they were equals. I know enough about Slytherin politics to know that house elves are not creatures to which you are formally introduced, but she handled the situation with grace.

When Dobby bowed very low to her, his pile of hats knitted by Hermione all tumbling to the floor, she chuckled lightly and before Dobby could snap his fingers and put them back in place she knelt down on the floor and placed each one back on his head taking care to make sure they were all snugly fit between his large ears. 

When she was finished she looked him straight in the eyes and said, "Hello Dobby. How nice to see you, we haven't crossed paths in quite a few years."

Dobby immediately burst into tears, "Oh Miss Zabini is remembering Dobby! Miss Zabini is ever so kind, gracious, lovely-"

"Well I don't know about all that," I interrupted before Dobby could continue and both Blaise and Dobby turned to look at me. 

Before Blaise could say a word Dobby ran over to me his hats wobbling slightly as his little legs propelled him forward. "Oh but Master Potter is not knowing!" Dobby exclaimed.

"When Miss Zabini is being a little little girl she is being kind to Dobby at the house of the evil bad Malfoys!"

Blaise narrowed her eyes at this and Dobby noticed immediately and began to slam his head into the ground, his hats falling askew once more. 

"Stop it!" I exclaimed but the little elf refused to listen to me. 

"Dobby! I order you to stop," Blaise said finally. At her words the elf stopped and reverently said, "Dobby is being very sorry for insulting the family of Miss Zabini. Very sorry."

"It's ok Dobby," Blaise responded, "I gather that they aren't your masters anymore so you can say what you wish about them."

Dobby seemed to have no response for this so he turned to me with his big eyes full of tears, "Is Master Potter needing anything?"

"Yes Dobby. Can you please bring over three glasses of hot chocolate. Extra marshmallows please," I responded.

Dobby seemed very happy to have something to do and was gone in a flash. I turned back around to find that Blaise had sat down at the table which corresponded with the Ravenclaw table in the Great Hall above.

At my raised eyebrow she responded, "Neutral territory."

"And what about the Hufflepuff table," I said with a slight smirk anticipating her response, "Isn't that neutral territory as well?" 

"I would **never** be caught dead sitting at the Hufflepuff table," she said solemnly as I sat down across from her at the Ravenclaw table.

We stared at each other for a moment before we started laughing. I grew somber before she did and I enjoyed simply watching her laugh. Her dark curly hair merrily caressed her face as she shook her head with mirth. I smiled gently at her and took note of the fact that she, unlike myself, was not wearing her school uniform. 

She wore a warm and soft looking green sweater that by the looks of it cost as much as one of the gold goblets in the Great Hall and a pair of dark brown pants which perfectly matched her eyes. 

The outfit was entirely Muggle and I wondered why she pureblood that she was, was wearing it. She seemed to notice that I was staring at her clothes and opened her mouth to say something when Dobby popped back over with not only three steaming mugs of cocoa but about 7 different types of strudels and pastries. 

Dobby was about to pop away when I stopped him, "Dobby please come sit with us for a minute. I asked for one hot chocolate for you, you know."

One of Blaise's dark eyebrows rose at this but I ignored her. "Please," I persisted. 

"Dobby could not! No Dobby is not eating with... Master Potter and Miss Zabini!" the elf stammered particularly when he said Blaise's name. 

"Please Dobby it would make both of us very happy," I pleaded. 

Dobby turned his eyes on Blaise and she seemed to forget her previous anger, "Sure Dobby, come join us just for a bit." 

Dobby did not respond but he did sit down near me and when I handed him a mug of hot chocolate he took it and seemed to sip it gently. 

I wasn't too sure what house elves ate or drank but he seemed to of never had it before. The pleasure on his face after the first sip made both Blaise and I smile.

So the three of us sat and engaged in idle chit chat until Dobby finished his cup and _insisted_ that he leave.

Once he had popped away I asked the question that had been sitting at the tip of my tongue the whole time, "Just how closely related are you to the Malfoys?"

Blaise smiled wryly and responded, "The man you put in prison last year is my good old Uncle Lucius." 

I just about fainted from the shock. How could she be so civil to me after what I did. Not that what I did was wrong _by any means _(in fact it was one of the few good things I did last year) but come on did the girl have any family loyalty?

She laughed at the look on my face. "I hold him fully responsible for where he has ended up," she said. "I, unlike Cousin Draco, do not push blame upon others to try to keep a perfect image of someone."

She sipped on her, now cool cocoa, and said "I never really agreed with all the anti Muggle sentiments raging through my family. After all, my mother was almost exactly like Arthur Weasley when it comes to Muggles. She loved everything about the way they lived. My father says it was her one fault, but I find myself leaning toward her feelings at least when it comes to Muggle clothing. I find it much more comfortable and stylish," she said indicating her sweater. 

"My father was furious when I started wearing them, but once he saw that it wasn't some odd phase he insisted that I only wear the best Muggles had to offer."

I listened intently munching on a pastry as she explained, "My father, incase you are wondering is the cousin of Lucius Malfoy. Which I guess would make Draco my third cousin or something and Lucius my second cousin but its too confusing to refer to it like that. It's a distant relation, but a relation nonetheless."

I nodded in understanding and sampled another pastry. "Well I like your clothes," I said after I swallowed another bite, "Your sweater brings out the green in your eyes."

She smiled and said, "Are you attempting to seduce me Harry Potter?" 

Quite suddenly I am brought back to the present. Out of my reminiscing and back to the castle in which I am trapped. Trapped and looking for a way to get home.. a way to get to Hogwarts. 

Then I remember why I was snapped out of my memories. 

I can smell food. My stomach growls almost painfully and as I rush toward the heavenly smell. A few pastries after dinner a few days ago... that was the last time I ate. The thought makes me go faster.

The hallways of the castle are getting a bit wider and I get the feeling that I am approaching a hall or a dining room. 

I wonder idly if there will be people in there as I hurry along my sword clanking heavily against my thigh as I go. 

Finally I reach a set of double doors and when I open them I see a sight I was totally unprepared for. There is no food in sight.

Instead, I come face to face with Professor Albus Dumbledore, his periwinkle eyes twinkle merrily. 

~*~*~*~*~*~

**Author's (C. Night) Notes:** Aren't I evil!?! I know, I know how could I stop there? But the chapter was already much longer than usual so I had to have yet another cliffe. This chapter was the hardest to write for some reason I felt like it wasn't flowing right. Tell me what you thought. Good news though, the end is near folks. And explanations are on the way. But this chapter had so many little clues in it I was afraid I was giving away the entire plot. Brownie points to anyone who finds one and says it in a review. I'd like to know if I am being too obvious. Oh yes, anyone want to be my beta reader? Get chapters in advance (thus find out everything before everyone else) and get rid of all of my highly annoying little errors! Sounds like fun to me! Drop me a review with your e-mail if you're interested.

And please, **I know that this is getting very very confusing, but just enjoy the ride with me for a bit longer**. Everything will be explained and you will be smacking yourself over the head when you notice all the little clues I've hidden right under your noses! Until then take comfort in the fact that no one else knows what the hell is going on either. Ah... fun times. Oh and to make sure that in the following chapter I answer everything you want to know I would appreciate it if in your reviews you leave questions a bit more specific than "What is going on?" lol Thanks very much. 

_Now to the wonderful, amazing, astonishingly cool people who did me the honor of reviewing the last chapter:_

_Cornflake_: Thank you very much for your kind words. The first person is a bit hard to write particularly in this chapter. Don't know why but I found myself getting very annoyed with it at some points. Thanks for reviewing & please come again! 

_HermionePotter141:_ Yes poor Estine. We shall all miss him. And rest assured that Harry will be furious with whoever is behind his present condition. Should be fun to write and read. Thanks for reviewing & please come again!

_Night Serpent (NS)_: Well, I am actually sorry this time. This is my third evil chapter in a row. Alright I am not sorry... it's just so much fun! Thanks for reviewing & please come again!

_TheAlphieParadox_: I am very glad you are enjoying the story. And I didn't kill Estine, lol that was a bad boy by the name of Neolik. I had nothing to do with it! ::backs away slowly:: lol Thanks for reviewing & please come again!

_Temporary Insanity_: I bet you are very happy with this chapter then Blaise is a big part of it. I have never run across anyone whose favorite ship was Harry/Blaise. It must be hard for you to find anything to read on it. Glad to be of service. Thanks for reviewing & please come again!

_Elssha_: Well, this review was a pleasant surprise seeing as I am a rather big fan of your story although I must admit that I am very alarmed to hear that someone is going to die lol. I am glad you like my Harry/Blaise I wanted to do something different with his love life. And if I recall correctly Harry is also a panther Anigmus is your story too. I wrote my chapter before that was revealed, but I found it amusing. Thanks for reviewing & please come again!

_Silver Queen:_ All the shizz-nizz will be revealed lol. Just hang with me for a bit. Harry is getting angsty too, but we're almost there. Thanks for reviewing & please come again!

_Jaycee_: Harry's arrogance, I am glad you mentioned it. I wanted to point out that this is from Harry's POV so you hear his thoughts. I decided to make him somewhat arrogant because looking back on his years at Hogwarts (think 2nd year duel with Malfoy) he is pretty arrogant when faced with adversity and most of his arrogance comes through in his thoughts. I am glad you like it because I love writing it. Thanks for reviewing & please come again!

_Byron245_: Thank you for the encouragement. It is much needed at time particularly on chapters like this one when I just want to throw the computer at the wall. Thanks for reviewing & please come again!

_Elayne__ Sedai:_ I have never read the wheel of time series but now I am definitely  curious. Estine was pretty loyal wasn't he... hum oh well lol. Thanks for reviewing & please come again!

_Sea Turtles:_ Thank you very much for always reviewing it really helps to know that I am not wasting my time think up all the little twists and turns Harry goes through. As for where the kids are coming from... you'll see. Hehehehe Thanks for reviewing & please come again!

_i-hate-cliffes__:_ well I am sorry about this chapter as once again here we have another cliffe. Thank you for reviewing and showing such loyalty to Estine. Albeit a bit disturbing loyalty, but hey I loved him too. And Blaise will actually make an appearance if/when Harry gets out. Thanks for reviewing & please come again!

Until next time... **review!**

* I'm telling you it isn't as bad as you think. _You don't even have to be a member of the site._ Press the periwinkle button that says "Go" make up an interesting alias for yourself and tell me what you think. No big deal... and it makes me very happy! And who doesn't want that?? *

~*~*~*~*~*~*~


	8. Hearts Grow Fonder

Author: C. Night

Rating: PG

Category: Action/Adventure & Mystery 

Disclaimer: Anything that you, Harry Potter fan that you are, recognize does not belong to me nor do I claim credit for it. J.K. Rowling and a bunch of other lucky people claim credit for the H.P. universe. I do not. Anything (or anyone) you DON'T recognize, however is part of my little story here and I would appreciate it if I was given due credit for it and if you want to borrow something you let me know. Thanks.  

A/N: Let me tell you right now, whoever reads these notes, that the beginning of the chapter is **VERY WEIRD**. But please, stick with it because I promise that it will make sense. Just like the first chapter of the Goblet of Fire, you just have to go with it until you figure out what the hell it meant. And by the end of the chapter the weirdness will have passed. Thanks for reading this.   

Title: Getting Out or Dying Trying  

Chapter 8: Hearts Grow Fonder

Now incase you have forgotten let me remind you of something. I am Harry Potter. I have seen a damned many things that would send any other wizard- terribly skilled at magic or not- running for their lives. 

**But**, I have never been faced with anything that has both shocked and scared me as much as seeing Albus Dumbledore at that particular moment did. 

Why? You have to be wondering why. It doesn't make much sense does it? Hogwarts teacher arrives. Harry is saved from impending doom. End of story- happily ever after. 

Well, if you know anything about me, you know that I never, _ever_ get any 'happily ever after's. It's unrealistic it isn't my life. My life is confusion, my life is hardship, my life is being faced with **more than one** Albus Dumbledores. 

I opened that door; I opened it and found myself staring at the twinkling blue eyes of Albus Dumbledore. I turned to the right and found myself staring at the twinkling blue eyes of Albus Dumbledore. 

I suppose, in some kind of bizarre tribute to my now deceased clones, Albus Dumbledore had created some copies of himself.

And let me tell you coming face to face with two copies of yourself is nothing compared to coming face to face with **five **clones of your _favorite _headmaster.

The worst part is that I don't know which the real one is. They are all standing before me in robes of a weird cobalt color with silver lining on the cuffs. They each are wearing the same matching cobalt hat dotted with faint silver stars. 

They are all smiling at me with their eyes twinkling. 

I think anyone's reaction to sight would be exactly the same as mine- I turned around and made for the door. 

Unfortunately for me it seemed that six of the blue robed pursuers had either awoken from the stupefy I had put them under or more of them had just appeared from no where. They made no moves toward me, but the seven of them had one clear cut intention. 

Block the door. 

So I was trapped in a room with six attackers and five Albus Percival Wolfric Brian Dumbledores. What the heck was I to do now?

All this time I had been searching for a purpose, screaming out that I needed to know what to do, where to go, how to get out and it seemed like this was it.

My mission should I choose to accept it (as if I actually had a choice): 

            Find the real Albus Dumbledore.

The Dumbledores had not said a word so as I walked back from where the six door-blockers were standing I decided to evaluate them. 

They looked exactly the same, but there had to be something else there. One of these men had to be the real Albus Dumbledore. I knew that much. They weren't all fakes. There is some kind of aura about the Headmaster that _you can just feel_. 

It's a feeling of safety, of comfort, of neatly restrained and carefully hidden, but still present power. And I could feel it now. Damn it all to hell even when I damned near hated the man I could still feel his presence and be somewhat at ease.

And I was content. Knowing that once I found the real Dumbledore I would be done was quite the relief. I mean honestly what else could I possibly have to do, right? Find Dumbledore and he takes me home. 

Nothing to it.

I walked slowly up and down the single file of Dumbledores. They all stood the same way, their heads held proudly the same way, their beards all perfectly shaped in exactly the same style. But there had to be something different about them.

Even when I had made my own clones I immediately noticed differences between them and myself. One of the Clones used terrifyingly painful spells- the kind of spells which I know but am very, very reluctant to use. 

While the other clone used elementary, almost basic spells to achieve an end. The kind of spells I use to get Malfoy off my back, not to battle worthy opponents with.

So whether or not these Dumbledores were created in the same way as mine were or not, there had to be differences. I stopped my pacing and stood directly in front of one of the Dumbledores. He gazed right into my eyes and I examined him. There was nothing different I could note. 

But then again I wasn't thinking specifics. I close my eyes and tried to conjure up an image of Dumbledore the night Sirius died. Right after Voldemort possessed me and the old mage's face was as close to mine as it had ever been before.

The image came and I focused on it, memorizing each detail. 

I opened my eyes and then I saw it. This Dumbledore definitely did not have the same nose as the one I knew. It was crooked like the true Albus Dumbledore's but not in the same exact way. 

So I touched the shoulder of the imposter and said, "You're not the real Professor Dumbledore. Bugger off."

All the blue robed figures guarding the door laughed. I shot them all glares until they stopped and after a minute or so one of the blue robed people stepped forward and sad in gruff tones, "You're going to have to get rid of him some other way than that... if you are _sure _it isn't him that is."

I stared back at the blue robed man whose voice was still muffled by a spell and furrowed my brow. How was I supposed to do that?

Then I looked down. The Sword. I was going to have to kill all the imposters. But what if I messed up?!? Picked the wrong one! 

My heart started pounding in my chest. I was sure that the actual Dumbledore wouldn't let me kill him because I picked the wrong person, but then again I had at one point been pretty sure that Dementors couldn't make people have visions. Or that snakes didn't kill other snakes based simply on who their masters were, or that blue blankets could not be used as torture devices....

Suffice to say I had doubts about a lot of things now.

Sure Dumbledore wouldn't let me kill him, but he might allow me to injure him... badly. All in the name of.... what was I doing this for again?

Ah right, I don't know that.

'Well,' I sighed internally; 'if I kill him I can honestly plead temporary insanity. This experience is sure to have driven me crazy already.'

I drew my sword from where it was tucked between my belt and my pants and my hands shook a bit. Palms sweaty I lifted the blade and faced the Dumbledore whose nose just wasn't crooked enough. 

I lifted the weapon and I could feel my hands shaking crazily. I couldn't do this. Not without being sure. I closed my eyes once more and recalled my image of Dumbledore. I then opened my eyes. 

The nose didn't look the same, of this I was sure; but what if it was under a glamour spell? That would be a trick of the eye. The nose would look different, but glamour could always be exposed by touch. 

Like the time we put a glamour on Flitwick's tiny hands to demonstrate. His hands looked much bigger but if you touched them you could outline the true shape easily. Your hand could actually go straight through the glamour. And let me tell you it's a weird to see your hand go straight through anything besides a ghost.

I shiver a bit at the memory and refocus my thoughts, 'Right, so if this was a glamour the nose would feel the way it really was shaped, just look different. And then I would be sure if this was an imposter or not.'

I lowered the sword and faced the still smiling benignly Dumbledore who I was about to kill. I stepped closer and raised my hand. I brought it down the length of the supposed imposter's nose. I felt the groove and the curve and remembered the story the real Albus Dumbledore had told me in his office one day about how he had broken his nose twice in his rather long life (he said he was lucky it was only two...damned optimists). 

Once when he was only 19 after some kind of bludger incident- that one had healed pretty well, but the second time on his 80th birthday when some pseudo dark lord had decided to try to get revenge for the death of his once leader Grindelwald.  A very messy affair, but Dumbledore, obviously, came out alright in the end. His nose, however, was completely shattered. 

It was only thanks to modern magical remedies that it was able to be fixed to look as it did now. There was one dent on the left side and a bit of a bump on the lower top part of his narrow nose. 

He could have had those fixed as well, but as Dumbledore told me, "It is good to preserve some remnant of all of the injuries you acquire in your lifetime to not only remind you of your mistakes but the consequences they had."  

This Dumbledore had a dent of the top part of his nose and a bump on the right. This was not Albus Dumbledore.

With a confidence I had seldom felt in my lifetime I lifted the sword once again. He hands steady and firm I plunged it into the stomach of the imposter before me. He fell to the floor and squirmed around. 

I lifted the sword once more and drove it into his chest this time, the sickening crack of ribs and splatter of blood echoing on all the walls. 

I watched for a moment, anxious to see what would happen. After a few minutes I knelt down to take a pulse. There was nothing.

'That's it?' I thought. 'Oh come on there has to be-'

Before I even finished my thought the corpse of the imposter began to emit a blue sort of smoke and in the blink of an eye the body was gone and in its place was a tiny blue little phoenix. 

I started in surprise and the bird let out a hauntingly beautiful note before it too disappeared in a shower of bronze-ish sparks. 

I was once again blinded by blue and threw a hand over my face to protect my vision, when I lowered it I found, much to my surprise, that all the blood was gone from the floor. 

The body had left no remains and my sword was gleaming without a trace of the blood which had once covered it in sight. My hands were also clean.

It was almost as though that imposter had never existed. Then I heard a bizarre noise. A sort of smattering. It took me a moment to realize that the blue robed stalkers/door guarders were applauding.

'What the hell is going on?' I thought. 

But before I could say a word they all stopped clapping and as if one cue they all turned back to face the remaining for Dumbledores. All of whom were smiling without a care in the world, their periwinkle eyes following my as I took in everything very slowly.

'What the hell is going on?????' 

I decided to be patient. I know that is what the real Dumbledore would tell me, "Be patient Harry, everything will be explained when I, master of all that is good and righteous see fit to tell you." or better yet, "Oh Harry I'm sorry I forgot to tell you o your impending doom I didn't want you to be deterred from saving the world in your first four years because you had that silly prophesy on your mind!"

I was starting to feel my blood pressure rise. Damn I was getting angry. Keeping all that pent up is really not good for you. 

'But why keep it bottled,' I thought nastily, 'why don't I just spew all of my anger out at these Dumbledores?'

So I did.

"You know what," I said to the gathered Dumbledores and blue robed figures, "I don't care which one is the real one. I have something to say."

I could have sworn I heard one of the blue robed people groan, but I ignored it, and began to speak in rather controlled tones, "How dare you, Albus Dumbledore! How dare you do whatever it is you are doing to me right now! I hate how you control my life, I hate how you always say you are doing things in my best interest but I never see anything really good come of it."

"You don't talk to me for the hardest year of my life and then, have the gall, the nerve, the AUDACITY to tell me that you are trying to protect me! I'll tell you one thing, I would rather have had Voldemort peeping in through my thoughts and even possessing me for a good four or five months while you taught me Occlumency so I could stop it, than to have Sirius..."

I broke off here and I realized that I had been pacing. Sirius is still a very difficult topic. I think it will be that way forever. Or at least for a good long time. I close my eyes for a moment and say more to myself than anyone, "What's done is done."

I turn back to face the four assembled Dumbledores and something strikes me. They do not all look the same anymore. 

I mean sure they all have the same _appearance_, but before they had been standing the same way and everything. Now, however only one of them is still smiling. 

The other three have their hands clasped in front of themselves and as I step closer I notice that their eyes all have a thin film over them as if the other three are all about to shed tears. 

The fourth one seems to have noticed that he was not supposed to be smiling and has adopted an expression and stance exactly like the other four, but the damage has been done.

I know how Dumbledore reacts when I get like this, he cries. Or he looks a bit ashamed, or at the very least he looks regretful. 

I saw it for the first time at the end of last year and I have seen it again on the occasions this year when I have lashed out at him or made a remark in reference to the unmitigated disaster that was my fifth year. 

This Dumbledore-clone didn't do it. Thus he wasn't Dumbledore. I once again lifted my sword and I think because I was still reeling from my anger I drove the blade straight into the chest cavity of this one. 

He adopted a shocked expression and I heard a few gasps from over by the door, and I knew why. 

I didn't pause to verify this one. Last time I had been extra careful, but I knew this time. I didn't have to check.

Once again I watched in mute horror as the imposter thrashed about on the floor for a bit before finally settling. I knew that real human beings were harder to kill than this so it was some bit of comfort to know for sure that I hadn't killed the real Dumbledore.    

I watched, waiting. Phoenix? Oh phoenix! Where are you? Maybe not this time?

And then there it was.

With a hiss and a bit of a pop a tiny phoenix, green this time, appeared and seemed to appraise me for a minute before letting out a cry oddly similar to that of a raven. I started, I didn't know phoenixes made that sound. 

And then a blinding green light came from the place where the phoenix had been and in a shower of silver sparks the bird, the body and all the blood were gone. 

Two down, two to go. 

And then there would be one, and if I did this right it would be the real Dumbledore. 

I noticed there was no applause from the door this time; they probably were shocked that I didn't pause to verify. 

Whatever. I didn't care.

I looked at the remaining three. They all had decided on neutral expressions it seemed. But all of their eyes were twinkling. 

This was going to be tough.

I decided to try to question them.

"Can you talk?" I asked.

"Yes," they all responded simultaneously.

"Who am I?"

"Harry James Potter. Son of Lily and James Potter- who, might I add, debated for many a week over what to name you. James eventually decided on Harrison after your great grandfather, an amazing wizard who did quite a bit for the wizarding world before he died, but your mother wasn't too keen on the name. They compromised on Harry which your mother found to give you an automatic sense of familiarity and comfort as it was intended to be a nickname and your father settled on simply because Lily agreed to give you his name as your middle name..."

"Ok," I said startled, "That's enough." 

Hearing three people recite such an oration all in unison was very unnerving and though I love hearing things like this about my parents I figured I could wait and just ask the real Dumbledore about it some other day. 

Alright so apparently they all were working off of the same information. They seemed to have all of the same memories as Dumbledore, but as the last imposter I had destroyed had demonstrated they didn't know exactly how Professor Dumbledore reacts to certain things. 

So I had to think of something to get a reaction. I had to do something. 

But what? 

Now, you have to understand that Dumbledore and I have spent a lot of time together this past year. Sometimes I remark to him snidely when he asks to meet me if he is trying to make up for lost time seeing as he wouldn't even look at me the year before.

Then he always says the exact same thing, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." 

The first time he said it I had been completely confused. There was no real absence last year. We had seen each other. He even talked to me at my hearing- oh excuse me- he spoke at me. 

That definitely was not talking.

But we never really spent an elongated period of time apart. I didn't understand. One day, however, it hit me. 

He meant absence in the mental sense of course. We hadn't talked in a year, not really anyway. We hadn't interacted in a year and now it wasn't that he was making up for lost time. 

It was more the fact that he had missed me and wanted to see me without having to break terrible news to me or something along those lines. He just wanted to spend... quality time with me. 

It rocked my world that day. Perhaps I wasn't just a weapon to Dumbledore. Maybe I was more. The day I finally realized what the hell Dumbledore was talking about when he said "absence makes the heart grow fonder" (a Muggle saying by the way) I decided to give the old coot another shot. Or at least to start to put the blame he shoulders for Sirius's death out of my mind. 

I smirk when I remember my earlier outburst at the Dumbledores. Ah, well I said I was _trying_ not that it would happen over night. I think I will always feel a twinge of resentment when it comes to the Headmaster, but I was working on it. 

Let's just say that the outburst I had just had was absolutely tame in comparison to the ones I had over the summer. 

The beginning of training was very trying. For everyone.

So now as I gaze upon the three remaining Dumbledores I know exactly what I am going to do to get a reaction.

I look up and into the eyes of each one for a few seconds scrutinizing their eyes, examining the twinkle in them. 

And then I said, "I missed you over the past hours Professor Dumbledore."

All three of them adopted the same slightly raised eyebrow. Time to push it even further.

"After all, absence makes the heart grow fonder," I said with a coy smile.  

Then I saw it. That's the thing about Dumbledore. It's all about the twinkling eyes.

Once I made my declaration two of the Dumbledores eyes shone with such a light of happiness, hidden laugher, and unbridled joy the likes of which I had never seen before. 

The third's eyes though. Simple twinkled. 

That was it, the death sentence.

No extra bright twinkle to me for remembering and quoting back something that Dumbledore had said to me on many occasions to express his - dare I say-  affection... for me? 

Well then this was obviously not Albus Dumbledore.

I lifted my sword once more. Slower this time. I was getting exasperated. This all seemed so pointless. What was I doing?

Why was there more than one Dumbledore?

Urg! So frustrating. 

I used that exasperation and annoyance to give me an extra boost of energy. I decided to simply stick the sword straight into the stomach of this third pretender. I watched in some kind of odd fascination as he slowly fell down. The sword, still firmly implanted in the stomach, fell with him. 

Watching your headmaster die three times in a row is quite odd, but sadly I was beginning to get used to it. As I pulled the sword from the carcass I waited for the phoenix vaguely wondering what color it would be now. 

As if prompted by my internal beckoning a canary yellow bird appeared with a snap where the corpse had once been. The bird, unlike the others, did not ever seem to look at me simply trilled a few quick note and with a flash of disturbingly yellow light and a contrastingly black shower of sparks was gone. 

I looked at the remaining two Dumbledores. 

So close. One was real and one was simply a replica. 

But they were so much alike. They looked exactly the same. They stared at me in the same manner. I couldn't tell who was who. I tried to think of another strategy. Anything, something to say, in order to make one inadvertently reveal himself as the fraud.

But I was so tired. 

I couldn't think. I just wanted it to be over. The Dumbledores seemed to sense this as both of them let out very soft, identical sighs. They seemed sorry.

Well, I was sorry too. I was about to kill one of them and I didn't know how to figure out which. 

Driven by my fatigue I lifted my sword. I held it like a Muggle baseball bat. Ready to swing. But at who?

I looked at the one on the left. He stared back at me directly into my eyes. I closed my eyes and tried to see if it would help me _feel _anything about this Dumbledore.

Nothing.

I turned to the one on the right. I looked into his eyes. He stared back and I felt nothing. Vaguely I wondered if I had killed the real Dumbledore by accident because usually when I looked into his eyes I felt something, anything.

Then I had an idea. I was going to try Legilimency as these Dumbledores were obviously using Occlumency. I closed my eyes and focused on the Dumbledore to my left. I pressed gently into his mind but he seemed to know what I was doing and repelled me before I could see anything.

I hadn't really perfected my Legilimency yet; in fact I had only just started, so I was not surprised when the same resistance occurred when I repeated the process on the second clone.

'Ok, so I just have to go with my gut then,' I thought with determination. 

The sword still positioned behind my head in a ready position felt slippery in my hands. 

I realized quickly that I was sweating buckets. My hands were covered and there was a trail going from my forehead to my right ear. 

I was terrified.

My heart was pounding and I could feel a headache developing. I looked at the one on my left and I looked at the Dumbledore on my right and I decided to just go for it. 

My breaths were coming in short ragged gasps. 

I lifted the sword even higher and swung at the Dumbledore on my left. 

Hard. 

I just wanted this to be over with.

I gasped and almost fainted when I saw that I had hit the Dumbledore directly across the head and had viciously tore open his skull. 

The body hit the floor with a sickening thud and I started hyperventilating when I saw no phoenix in sight. 

The blood was pooling in the ground making an almost perfect circle around the head of the headmaster. The end of my sword was covered in blood and all I could do was stare.

I was afraid to look at the still living Dumbledore. I was afraid to look at the blue robed people at the door. I was more terrified in that moment that I had been at any other point in my little escapade into the inner regions of hell.

I was shaking like a leaf as I waited for a phoenix. When what seemed to me like 10 years (but really was bout 1 minute) passed and there still was no sign of a bird of any sort. I dropped the sword in abject horror. 

It fell to the marble floor with a loud clatter and was pretty sure that there was no air getting into my lungs. 

'Did I just murder the Headmaster?' I thought. 'Oh Merlin, oh shit.'

I fell to my knees before the body and in my scramble to get closer to it cut my self on the fallen sword. 

The pain of the sword slashing at my leg distracted me for a moment and I ended up on my hands and knees crawling as close to the body as I dared go.

"Oh Merlin," I said aloud and I felt as though he chest and head were both about to explode from the tremendous pain I felt. 

It was not nearly as bad as the pain I felt when I was possessed by Voldemort in the Department of Mysteries the year before, but in another sense it was far, far worse.

As this time, I didn't want to die. I wanted to live. I wanted to be punished forever for what I had done. I felt a tear slide down my face and I was shocked at myself.

I never cry.

A part of my life with the Dursleys that has never left me I hardly ever cry. And here I was about ready to bawl. 

Unable to stand staring at the corpse any longer I hung my head in abject shame. I heard something vaguely in the back of my mind. It sounded like voices but I couldn't focus enough to hear.

All I could do was see. 

See that I killed Albus Dumbledore.

See his dead body before me...

See the body shimmer with a gold glow...

See the body disappear and in its place see...

Fawkes the Phoenix.

I gasped and it seemed like all my other senses returned to me at the same time. 

I pulled away from the magnificent bird and stood up in one swift movement that made my head feel as though it was being banged around in my skull.

I turned around faster than I ever have in my life and vaguely registered that I was swaying slightly.

I saw before me Albus Dumbledore and all of the blue robed torturers I had ever com across. It was a staggering sight. It seemed as though there were a total of 25 blue robed individuals.

Somehow many, many more had arrived while I was battling with the imposter Dumbledores. I swayed even more on my feet and was about to fall over when a comfortable weight landed on my shoulder. 

I wearily turned my head and saw that Fawkes had decided to rest on my shoulder. Then he let out a call louder and more powerful than all of the other phoenixes combined. 

Shivers raced down my spine and I felt a bit better. At least I could stand up straight and hear properly. 

Albus Dumbledore stepped toward me from the line he had been in of all of the blue robed figures and stared at me with something I recognized from looking at the face of Mrs. Weasley when Ron became a prefect and I had seen far too many a time being directed a Dudley during my childhood.

Headmaster Dumbledore was looking at me with abject pride and his eyes were shining like two neon blue stars lighting the sky. 

He opened his arms in a welcoming gesture and said, "Congratulations Harry, and welcome to the Order of the Phoenix." 

I had never been angrier in my life. 

~*~*~*~*~*~

**Author (C. Night) Notes: ****THIS IS NOT THE END!** I said you would get explanations and you will so just you wait. All of you Dumbledore haters out there I am sorry he isn't really the bad guy in this although he did put Harry though the whole thing. I don't know I guess you could say he's the bad guy, but I feel there really was no bad guy. As for how Harry sees this... that is for the next chapter, but you get a good sense of it with that last sentence. Hehehe... oh and since we are just about done I need to know if anyone would be interested in some kind of sequel (you'll see how that's possible later) or just in reading anything else I write. So **review!**

**And, I have the next week off from school so if I get a lot of reviews and somehow find the incentive to write the next chapter early you may get it before next Friday! **

_Now to the awesomely astoundingly, magnificent people who reviewed the last chapter: _

_Ueshiba: _I appreciate the definitely / defiantly thing. As I don't have a beat reader I tend not to find those kinds of frequent errors. So thanks for reporting it and thanks for reviewing!

_Wanderingwolf: _yes the chapter you have been waiting for the one in which I actually say flat out that you hit the nail right on the head from the get go. Congratulations on scaring the crap out of me when I read your review and figured that I was being too obvious. I am glad you kept reading though and I am glad you reviewed, good to know there are some very observant people out there. Bet you can't see what's coming now though! Thanks for reviewing and come again!

_Slscjk: _This was as soon as I could. I really hope you like it. Thanks for reviewing and come again! 

_Sea Turtle: _The ever faithful. I love your reviews. The longest and the most fun to read. The rambling quality is interesting. There is no need to try to surprise me; I think I surprise you enough with this story for the both of us. Let me know what you thought of this chapter. And thank you, thank you, thank you for reviewing so much and so dedicatedly! You rock!

_Angleis1:_ I believe I answered your question. If you have anymore. Don't hesitate to ask. Thanks for reviewing!

_HermionePotter141:_ Yes well Dumbledore wasn't there to save Harry per say... lol. I hope you liked this chapter. No romance this tie so there was nothing to avoid. Thanks for your opinions I appreciate them. Thanks for reviewing and come again!

_SilverQueen_: Well there is less of a cliff hanger this time. Hope you liked it. Please review and thank you very, very much for reading.

_Gaul1_: Thank you very much for reviewing any and all words of encouragement are greatly appreciated. 

_SilverDragonHawk:_ Nope we still don't know how Harry actually got there in the first place or where is actually is for that matter. That's all in the next two chapters. Thank you for reviewing and please do come again!

_Niktike_: Kind words to sooth the frustrated writer's heart. Thank you very much for reviewing and please continue to let me know what you think. 

_Elayne Sedai:_ Yes with Dumbledore it's all about the twinkling eyes. In the end of the last chapter it was more due to anticipation than happiness. But yes he and the other 4 Dumbledores were very happy to see Harry. Thank you very much for reviewing, I appreciate your opinions.

_Jaded eyes_: Well I am glad I wrote Estine well enough to the point where you still miss him. It's hard to write the part of a snake. Don't worry you are not alone in your loss we all miss him. Thanks for reviewing & come again!

_Cornflake_: Yes periwinkle a favorite word of mine I believe JKR used it in the fourth book to describe the color of Hermione's dress robes at the Yule Ball. (Only a real HP freak would know that lol). It's actually a purpleish blue but hey it rhymed with twinkle I had to use it. And you were the only person who noticed that they did indeed heal him 20 brownie points to you! Thank you very much for reviewing and by the way 'AFAIK' I'm not sure I've heard that one before. Fill me in if you get the chance. Thanks!

_Temporary Insanity_: It is nice to hear that people like the H/B thanks for mentioning it. And the Heir angle isn't too important in my story but I am glad you felt it was original. Thank you very much for reviewing, and please come again! 

_Night Serpent (NS)_: Wonderful use of one of my own quotes I love it when reviewers do that! lol I am glad you approved of the chapter and please let me know if you like this one. It's great for me to know I did something to alleviate what seemed like a pretty tough day. Thanks for reviewing and come again!

_i-hate-cliffes:_ Dumbledore is quite cool. Definitely one of my favorite characters probably even second after Harry. He does deserve his comeuppance especially after what happened in this chapter. We'll see about that next time. Thanks for reviewing and come again soon!

Until next time...  **Happy Friday the 13th & Valentine's Day!**

~*~*~*~*~*~*~


	9. Hollow & Helpless

Author: C. Night

Rating: PG-13

Category: Action/Adventure & Romance (at least for this chapter)

Disclaimer: Anything that you, Harry Potter fan that you are, recognize does not belong to me nor do I claim credit for it. All of the people, places and things of the HP universe belong to a Miss JK Rowling and a whole bunch of other chosen people. But I would like to be given due credit for anything that you don't recognize. Thanks!

A/N: Lucky you! This is the longest chapter I've ever written in my whole life! By far! Isn't that amazing! Enjoy it and just because I spent so long on it you simply must review! 

Title: Getting Out or Dying Trying

Chapter 9: Hollow & Helpless 

I really don't think that my face is properly expressing the anger I am feeling right now and that annoys me. 

My face is telling these Order members that I am shocked. Which I am but I that shock in no way compares to the overwhelming anger I feel _in my very soul_ right now. 

Thus these gits think I am not too mad, just shocked. So the bastards come over to congratulate me.

They see that I am not responding whatsoever to their _kind_ words and they assume that is because I still don't know who they are. 

So the masks and voice disguisers come off.

If I was mad before it is nothing compared to what I feel now. 

The faces I see under the hoods are the faces of people I know, people I trust, people I... dare say it... love. Sure there are some unfamiliar or vaguely recognizable faces mixed in there but overall I am appalled at the identities of my attackers.

Their faces seem almost magnified to me as they all take off their hoods and voice distortion charms. 

Alastor Moody, Kingsley Shaklebolt, Arthur Wealsey, Professor McGonagall, Tonks, Fletcher, Bill Weasley, Molly Weasley, Charlie Weasley, a man who looked oddly like Luna Lovegood, Snape, 

Even Diggle for crying out loud!!!

And worst of all, the very worst of all Remus.

MY Remus! 

With Sirius... well... gone Lupin (who demanded that I call him Remus or Moony) had taken up the role of surrogate godfather without there being any awkwardness at all. One of the few people I had thought I could trust completely; I felt disgusted.

Traitor.

All the adults I had ever trusted or felt like I could possibly trust in the future all in one room congratulating me for being able to withstand their attempts at killing me.

They had to be joking.

A little part of me just knew that this was the part when Ron was going to smack me over the head with a pillow and tell me to get the bloody heck out of bed, but another part of me (the majority by the way) was just pissed off.

Remus saw it in my face and as the others came closer to me patting me on the back and telling me what a fine job I had done, he simply stayed back.

My eyes were locked with his and after a few seconds he seemed unable to look at me and turned away.

Damn right bloody git don't you dare look at me.

I started to feel slightly claustrophobic with all of the Order members around me talking touching me even hugging me. No one for except Remus, Snape, and Dumbledore seemed to realize I was mad. And they- being the smart bastards that they are- stayed back.

The others were getting way too close for comfort and none of them had even noticed my anger. 

'Well,' I thought to myself, 'it was time to show them.'

I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes. 

I compressed all the anger, frustration, betrayal, pain, confusedness, and sorrow I had felt during the whole ordeal especially right now into a sort of ball inside of me. 

I could see it in my mind's eye a glowing red ball of terrible, painful emotions and it was starting to almost ache inside of me.

I had to let it out.

'And what better time to do that,' I thought, 'then when these order members are all crowded around me.'

I was getting malicious now.

I could hear Professor Dumbledore over the loud chatter of Order members around me telling me to stop. He was probably yelling very loudly as it seemed he knew what I was going to do, but it was too late. 

I let it out. 

With an absolutely inhuman scream I released that huge ball of negative emotion and the results were sickening.

All the Order members within five feet of me (which was just about everyone except Snape, Dumbledore, and Remus) went flying away with a burst of raw magic and just about all of them hit the walls with sickening crunches. 

Dumbledore and Remus immediately came toward me after the initial explosion (there is no other way to describe it), but I was beyond all rational thought. 

I was mad and it was about damned time they got the hell away from me.

I drew my sword and noted with amusement that it was glowing faintly with a red-ish tint. Or perhaps I had begun to see red. Whatever. It didn't matter. 

I pointed to razor sharp blade outward toward Remus and Dumbledore. 

"Stay away from me," I said in deadly tones. "Don't come any closer. Let me tell you something, now listen well because I am only going to say this once."

"You think you have control over people. You think you know what people want and decide to take it upon yourself to give it to them in the most difficult and painful manner possible. What if I didn't want to join your damned Order? Then what! You would say, 'Oh sorry Harry, I guess the whole initiation test thing was rather pointless then!' YOU HAVE NO RIGHT!" I screamed.

"You had no right," I continue in more calm tones making sure that I have the attention of all the Order members both those who have righted themselves from their _little fall_ and are standing as far from me as they can get and the two who are standing directly in front of me. "To test me in such a manner without my consent. And another thing I find it highly unbelievable that you subject all of your members to such a crucible. Did you all just decide that you couldn't let the _inexperienced_ Boy-Who-Lived join without a fight? As if I hadn't been through enough to prove my loyalty to this cause. TO THIS WAR! No, you decided that it wasn't enough."

I was breathing heavily now and I took a good deal of satisfaction from the fact that some of the Order members were looking slightly ashamed.

"But Harry!" Professor McGonagall said from over by the wall, "You showed so many skills that we never would have know you-"

"Don't feed me any BULL about this being the only way for me to have discovered skills that I had hidden. I demonstrated many skills that _you_ didn't know I had. _I knew. You didn't_. You could have found out those skills from practicing with me more or putting me through training tests, did that occur to any of you?" I spat back.

Alright well that wasn't necessarily true. I hadn't known I could apparate until today, er- yesterday, and I had learned that I have a lot more endurance than I once would have thought. But I didn't care about that right now. 

I had become somewhat hollow. After the initial release of all of my negative emotion I still had some residual anger, but now I felt empty. It was understandable though seeing as I had released just about all of my emotion on those around me. 

Hollow- no emotion left. That was me. 

Suddenly I realized something. Where was Snape in all this? He had been standing back where Dumbledore and Remus were as to avoid the backlash of my magical outburst, but he was gone now. 

I closed my eyes briefly and tightened my grip on the Sword. He was still here. I could practically feel him. But where?

I thought back to all the other times I had wondered where someone was positioned during my skirmishes with the enemy. I had always discovered that they were behind me (usually thanks to Estine) so without even looking I spun around with my blade outstretched and when the blade tapped something solid I slashed it. 

Once I had completely spun around I got mad all over again. So much for hollow.

The bastard had been sneaking up on me. Probably to try to subdue me with a Stupefy or, knowing Snape, something a bit more vigorous. And worst of all every one of those damned Order gits had been watching him slowly approach me from behind and not one had said a word. 

If I hadn't hated every one of them already- this sealed the deal.

In my world they were dead.

It took me a moment to realize I was screaming and still slashing my Sword into Snape's face. 

It took me even longer to realize what I was saying, "Die! Die! DIE! BASTARDS **ALL OF YOU DIE**!" 

Shocking to say the least. I had always been such a nice boy.

Oh well.

Dumbledore, Remus, Shaklebolt, and Moddy had all come forward to try to get me away from Snape, while the rest of the Order looked on in horror. 

Snape was oddly enough allowing me to swing at him and was staring at me with something disturbingly similar to pity in his eyes.

That was enough to completely set me off.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" I screamed and extraordinarily all five of the men close to me back away at least a step each.

I raised my sword and pointed it at them, "Take me home NOW! NOW! I WANT TO LEAVE! TAKE ME HOME! TAKE ME HOME! TAKE ME HOME! TAKE ME HOME!"

I looked at them expectantly and a split second before I felt the floor give out from under me I saw all of their eyes widen.

* * *

I woke up on the cold, hard, ground. 

I didn't even have to open my eyes to tell that. I could smell the grass under me and I could feel the frozen earth under my body.

I opened my eyes and realized that I had obviously been transported somewhere else. There was no snow on the ground here. It was just cold. The area was completely unfamiliar and I had no idea where Hogwarts or the castle of my imprisonment was.

But oddly I wasn't scared. 

I had gotten some rest on that hard ground and I felt a whole lot more energized than I had in a while and as long as I was far enough away from Dumbledore and the Order then I was ok.

Just as long as this wasn't a part of some damned test.

But I knew it wasn't Dumbledore looked surprised and maybe even a bit scared when... I was transported here. So I knew it wasn't anything he had planned.

Well, it was time to scope out my surroundings. The sun had almost completely risen and I realized with a jolt that it was Christmas. 

"Happy Christmas Harry," I muttered to myself and wondered if I had ever had a worse holiday in my life. 

I came to the conclusion that no, even watching the Dursleys rip into their luxurious gifts enviously was much better than what I had gone through so far on this Christmas morning.

"Thank you Professor Dumbledore. Oh the things you do for me. And to think that I actually had a nice pair of socks all wrapped up in my trunk back at home for that bastard," I mumbled angrily as I looked out in front of me. 

The socks were going to be part of my attempt to apologize for treating Dumbledore and all of my other summer instructors so harshly over the summer, but that motion was officially terminated.

'Dobby is getting some new socks then,' I thought, 'Note to self: remember to mix them with a different pair.' 

'I hate Dumbledore,' I continued thinking, 'He successfully managed to taint my relationships with every adult I had ever known in one go. Adults officially suck. Forever.'

Once I reached that conclusion I noticed that my Sword had apparently come with me on the journey and I turned around to bend down and pick it up from its position on the floor behind me.

Once I had it firmly in my grasp I noticed that there had been a very high metal gate behind me the entire time and I was right in front of the gate's entrance way.

There was a half-circle shaped archway and in metal letters shaped to fit around the half circle curve of the entrance were the words:

Godic's Hollow Cemetery.

My head was spinning. I was in Godric's Hollow, the quaint little village where my parents' and I had lived when I was a baby. 

I was _home_. 

Apparently the Sword of Godric Gryffindor had taken it upon itself to take me "home" or at least the home of any true Gryffindor. 

Godric's Hollow.

The cemetery was huge and I couldn't see anything past it. And on my other side was a seemingly endless expanse of grassland. Apparently the Sword had taken me to the very edge of the village. Presumably on the other side of the cemetery was the town where my parents had lived with me and where other residents most likely still lived today.

I was going to have to walk through the cemetery to get to the town.

I heaved a sigh seeing as the cemetery was gigantic but figured that I had better get on my way if I ever wanted to get back to my real home, the home I had intended to go to in the first place- Hogwarts.

I started walking. 

The crisp grass crunched under my trainers and I was starting to get cold. Dumbledore and his squadron of imbeciles had not given me back my wand so I had no way of warming myself but to walk faster, which I did.

Finally in somewhere around a half an hour of walking (who knew there were so many dead people in such a small town) I reached a huge structure. 

As I got closer I realized it was a statue. I couldn't see it from where I was standing (it was facing the other way) so I quickly ran around to the other side, avoiding a patch of flowers as I went. 

Oddly enough it a statue of three lions. Three golden lions. One male which was standing over and protecting the other two- a female who was somewhat curled up on the base of the statue with a little cub cradled against her arms. 

Fascinated I come closer and read the inscription on the base of the statue: Dedicated to the memory of Lily and James Potter whose courageous sacrifice preserved the life of the one who would save us all. May they rest in peace. 

My breath caught in my throat. 

A statue of three gold lions as a representation of my family. It was as if this statue had been here all along screaming out to the world that the Potters were descendants of the Gryffindor line and I had been plugging up my ears refusing to hear it.

I was hit with something else at the same time. If there was a statue here dedicated to my parents then they had to be buried somewhere around here! 

"Where? Where? Where?" I muttered to myself as my eyes frantically read the names on the graves all around. Then I found them. 

Directly in front of the statue there was a grassy areas in which tons of little flowers of red and yellow had been planted and then about ten meters in front of all the flowers there were two graves a bit separated but exactly identical.

I couldn't read the names on them from where I was standing but I knew they were my parents' graves. 

They were made of a beautiful type of black marble and when I finally came around to see the front of them I was so overwhelmed I almost fainted. 

I knew what they were going to say, so why was I so surprised?

I couldn't answer that.

I read the inscriptions about 50 times each in the space of about a minute and I knew once I was finished that I would always be able to recite the words on each of their graves forever. The white letters on the first grave read:

Lily Anne Evans- Potter

1961 - 1980 

Cherished Daughter, Friend, Wife, and Mother

Protector to the End

And on the one directly on its left the white letters proclaimed:

James Harrison Potter

1961 - 1980

Beloved Son, Friend, Husband, and Father

Guardian of All 

I looked at the space between the two graves and sighed. 'When- no IF Voldemort kills me,' I thought dejectedly, 'I know exactly where I want to be buried.'

It was probably one of the most depressing thoughts I had ever had in my life, but I took comfort in being so close to my parents. As close as I could be anyway. 

I moaned with longing as I looked at the graves and I felt that I had never missed anyone or anything with as much passion as I missed them right then.

All the adults I had ever known (and liked) had forsaken me in the past 24 hours. And the only two adults I could have counted on no matter what were here.

Six feet under. I felt so alone. 

I found myself lying on my back in the space between the two graves looking at the cloudy Christmas sky. I was depressed and alone, but I tried desperately to take some joy in the fact that I was close to my parents in the physical sense for the first time since Halloween fifteen years before. 

I closed my eyes and relaxed on the cold ground and tried to figure out what I was going to do about the Order.

Despite what I had just done I knew they still wanted me to join. I was valuable and I had obviously just proven myself worthy. But I didn't really want to anymore.

Why should I join an organization of people who I was beginning to despise (some I despised already), an organization of hypocrites and liars. 

'But then,' I thought suddenly, 'My parents had once been a part of that order. With most of the same people. I refused to believe that they would condone such actions by their associates. Well maybe the Order was a bit different then,' I supposed.

'But still, am I going to join in some kind of attempt to restore it to its former greatness or something?'

My interest was sparked at that. 

What an undertaking, restoring the Order to what it was like in my parents' time. More about helping and less about deceiving. But that would be a lot a of work. And did I really want to do that when I could just say no and have that be it?

I felt a surge of something in me. What kind of Gryffindor was I being? Backing away from a challenge because I was too tired to do what was right? Preposterous! 

Logically that thought should have propelled me into action. I should have sprang up from my position lying on the ground and rushed to go back to Hogwarts, join the Order and begin my plans for its restoration.

But that isn't what happened.

I just got sad. I didn't want to do it alone. I wanted some support. I wanted someone, an adult someone to lean on, I wanted Sirius. I wanted my Mum, I wanted my Dad. 

I closed my eyes and was quite surprised to feel a tear slide down my cheek. 

I laid perfectly still and tried to pretend I was with them. Wherever they were. In the great beyond out there somewhere. And once again that feeling of hollowness came over me again. I felt without hope, I felt without love, I felt lacking. 

As if a huge part of me was missing and I hadn't realized it until I saw it sitting there. Outside of me. Separated. It was as if I had no heart for my entire life and only noticed when I saw it sitting on a table gushing blood. I was missing it and I didn't even know it.

That was how I felt about my parents. Seeing their graves intensified my longing for them. I had always known I was missing the love of a parent but to see their graves was like seeing it and finally seeing how, like the heart, there was no hope of getting it back. It was gone.

That was the last coherent thought I had on cold the grass between my parent's graves.

After that I started thinking about random things with my eyes closed. 

I thought about my parents, Sirius, Dumbledore, Remus, Voldemort, the prophesy. I thought about a lot of things but didn't really think about them more than have them cross my mind. 

I felt as though I had fallen into a space with no time. Thoughts just came and went and I was not concerned. 

I "woke up" to a sort of tickling feeling on my cold nose. I swatted at the unseen (as I hadn't opened my eyes yet) source and desperately tried to get back to the calm state I was in before. 

But then I realized it was snowing. Gentle snowflakes had begun to fall and each one that fell tickled my nose before it melted. 

I sat up and realized that I had zoned out for the majority of the day. It looked to be late afternoon. I was very alarmed at this since to me it had seemed to only have been a few hours. No where near the six hours it probably had actually been. 

I had reached no earth shattering conclusions during the time I had just meditated. Or something. And although I was still sad I was happy to have even been given the time to spend with my parents. In any sense that I could get.

I felt a hell of a lot calmer than I had felt since before Sirius' death and I knew it was going to go away once I got to Hogwarts and had to make decisions again. Irrational, I know, but as I stood up finally from the cold and lightly powered snow I stared at my parent's graves and thanked them for giving me this new calm.

I could have sworn I felt a bit of warmth in me after I said thank you, but that was probably my over active imagination.

Then I picked up the Gryffindor Sword and held it in front of me. I decided to try something else rather than walk all the way into the city. If it worked one way, I figured it might work the other.

I focused on Hogwarts and my friends. All of my happy memorizes of the school and my life there. It was probably an hour before I felt as though I had covered everything I loved about Hogwarts and the sun had begun to set. 

My hands and feet were frozen solid but I knew it was going to be worth it. And it was because when I finally whispered, "Take me home."

It worked. 

* * *

My head hurts.

Madam Pomfrey is rushing about getting me draughts for this and healing potions for that. I have just been through the ordeal of my life and all I can think is that my head hurts.

It has been too long and too much to handle. A goblet is shoved in my hands and I note that there is a beautiful image of a phoenix carved into the gold. Wings spread in flight the image looks as though it was real.

Breathtakingly beautiful. 

To everyone but me.

I see it and its visage on the goblet makes me not want to drink the headache potion it is filled with. I makes me want to be sick.

Damn the Order for putting me through this. 

All the calm I had gained from my visit to Godric's Hollow was gone now. 

Madam Pomfrey seems puzzled at my hesitation, "Drink up Mr. Potter," she says carefully and quietly knowing that any noises will only increase the pounding of my head (some kind of after effect from using the sword to transport myself to the front gates of Hogwarts- apparently Gryffindor heirs can somewhat apparate through the wards).

My eyes, still focused on the goblet, narrow. I refuse the cup and set it on the bedside table.

"Now Mr. Potter!" Madam Pomfrey says more loudly and more forcefully. 

"I know for a fact that your head is very painfully throbbing right now. After all that you have been through for the past day it's a wonder that you haven't slipped into a coma. This is not the time for foolishness! Drink!"

I make no motion for the cup and lie back slowly against the blankets of the hospital bed.

"I believe I know what the problem is Poppy," a voice says from the doorway.

I don't turn to face him. Don't look... Don't look.... 

He is NOT there.

Damn him. I can hear his footfalls coming closer. They stop right beside my bed. I hear a muttered incantation before I see Madam Pomfrey hand the goblet with the phoenix on it to the man beside my bed.

I hear liquid pouring before the wrinkled hand offers me a plain glass of headache relieving potion. 

I take it without a word and gulp it down.

I can think again. 

Madam Pomfrey makes a noise of annoyance at my petty and childish behavior and stalks away from myself and the headmaster.

Dumbledore takes a breath and I know he is about to say something when he is interrupted before he can even begin.

"Where is he?" I hear the voice of my Head of House demand. "Is he alright? If anything else happened to him-"

"I'm sure Potter has decided that he is perfectly fine and has rushed back to the lions' den to tell of his _glorious_ adventure," I hear the silky tones of Professor Snape interrupt. 

I snort at his assessment. 'How far off from the truth is that?' I think annoyed.

"Arse," I mutter under my breath.

Professor Dumbledore seems to have heard me and sends a disappointed glance my way. I snort again and turn away from him. 

'Who the hell is **he** to be disappointed in **me**?'

I hear Dumbledore walk over to the two teachers who it seems have finally noticed me lying in bed and have lowered their voices. I hear them conversing in docile tones before silence reigns in the Hospital Wing. 

I wonder if they have left.

I heard three sets of feet moving closer to my bed.

Apparently not. I close my eyes lightly and feign sleep.

Dumbledore, I know, will be able to see through my facade but hopefully it will be enough to get the other two to leave.

They seem to stare at me for a moment and then I hear McGonagall whisper something to Dumbledore and Snape and the three seem to decide they will wait for me to "wake up" to discuss the events of the past two days. 

They know that I haven't been given a sleeping potion (as they interact terribly with headache relieving potions) and probably guess I will be awake soon.

'Not if I can help it,' I think nastily.

They move over to a table with a few chairs around it located on the far right of the wing. 

Close enough to see and hear me... but far enough to give me the illusion of privacy. Dumbledore undoubtedly transfigured that coffee table and set of chairs. Crazy old coot... but a damned master of manipulation.

I try to sleep but it was not happening. I shift so that I am lying on my back and desperately try not to think. Thinking would be bad. 

So I keep my eyes closed and clear my mind. 

I am not sure how long I stayed like that but I was sure I was about to go deep into some kind of meditation, like the one I feel into at the Hollow, when I heard a noise at the door. I ignored it. 

Last thing I need is to open my eyes and give away the fact that I was never really asleep to McGonagall and Snape (I am positive Dumbledore knows I am awake).

Who ever was at the door comes inside the wing.

I try to meditate again but I am fully distracted now. I wonder if it is some first year student who had a charms mix up and is now frantically searching for Madam Pomfrey. Looking at someone with creepy crawlers coming out of their face is always amusing and I really could use a laugh.

But I decide to keep my eyes closed. Whoever this newcomer is they have come closer to my bed and seem not to be searching for Madam Pomfrey.

'Oh well, no tentacle faces tonight,' I think. 

I hear the light footfalls come even closer to my bed and I am tempted to pull out my wand.

'Who the hell is this person?' I think.

But then I remember Dumbledore, Snape, and McGonagall are all sitting nearby and they have no doubt been watching the newcomer like hawks since he or she came in.

I decide to ignore whoever it is. Probably some Order member coming to make their apologies.

'Damn you to hell,' I think frigidly. 'I won't be accepting any apologies for quite a while thanks very much.' 

I begin to try to clear my mind and meditate again, but it is futile now. Whoever is standing near my bed is being freakishly quiet and I can't focus. 

Why are they just standing there? 

Staring.

I lay very still feigning sleep and try to keep my breathing even.

Silence.

And then finally a voice from very nearby drawls, "Staring at the insides of your eyelids Harry? Oh yes, that is _very_ mature."

I let out a startled gasp and my eyes fly open. Sure enough standing on the side of my bed less than an arm's length away is Blaise Zabini. 

My Lacy. In all her glory. Before she can say a word I, with my seeker's hands, grab her and pull her towards me. 

Somehow she manages to manipulate the sudden jerk so that she ends up gracefully laying on top of me, her cool light brown eyes amazingly close to my green orbs.

I can't say anything. Suddenly everything ceases to matter. The Order, The Test, Estine, Andrew, Dumbledore, even the Gryffindor Heir thing.

None of it matters. At all.

This is where I was meant to be. My arms wrap around her securely and I vaguely hear some kind of sudden movement and some noises indicating a struggle from the corner of the Hospital Wing.

But that doesn't exist to me now. All that exists is her. Her warm body on top of mine separated only by a thin layer of stark white sheets.

Her head is resting on my chest as I hug her. Her slightly erratic breaths puff against the side of my neck. Her arms, bent at the elbows, hug me back in a slightly abnormal style of embrace.

All I can do is inhale her scent and wonder how I could ever forget it. The smell of warm vanilla, cold breezes, and freshly fallen snow. The smell of safety, of comfort. 

Of home.

She tilts her head up slightly and her nose is buried in the crook of my neck. I feel her every breath. I can barely handle the sensory overload.

She knows that. So she talks to me. 

"While you were away I ruined my first potion," she says in a tone that implies that absolutely nothing unusual is taking place. 

I do not respond, but she knows I am riveted. 

She pauses for a moment and then when I say nothing she sighs in something like playful exasperation and continues on. 

"Now you may be wondering why I was making a potion over the Christmas Holiday," she says brazenly as though the question was something any person with half a brain would ask. 

Her tone implies that by not asking it I had proved to her once and for all that I was _a lower life form_. 

Damn I loved this girl. 

"Well," she continues remaining immobile; her body blanketing mine comfortably, "I was brewing a potion from a book in the library. It was supposed to make anything dipped in it glisten from the inside out. A breathtaking effect and not an overly complex potion."

"However," she says in a slightly irritated voice, "I was... missing... an ingredient."

She pauses and my breath catches in my in throat, perhaps there was a point to this tale after all. 

"I looked for the missing part desperately trying to find it before everything was ruined. But I couldn't find it. No one could tell me where it was and I of course had to act nonchalant about not having it... after all it wasn't too important a... potion any way right?"

I still say nothing and she continues on as if I had responded. 

"Well needless to say the potion was ruined and I was terribly, dreadfully upset about the ingredient. I missed it," she says nuzzling her nose in my neck careful not to press too hard against my newly healed jaw.

"I missed it so much. I was nearly aching for it," Blaise whispers to me and I knew right in that moment that there was no potion.

This story wasn't about a potion. 

Tightening my left arm around her I move my right so that my fingers are gently nudging her face upward. Her entire body shifts with the movement until her face is almost directly hovering over mine. 

Her taupe eyes are staring into mine and I whisper to her while starring directly in her eyes, "I missed you too Lacy."

And as our faces got even closer together I almost absently said it again, "I longed for you..." 

I let out a sigh as my eyes fall closed and finish, "...For this." 

And then, for the first time, Blaise Zabini and Harry Potter kissed. 

And it was so different from how I had always thought it would be. 

I had assumed that like everything else we did out first kiss would be a struggle for dominance. A play-fight, a battle of wills, a pent up ball of both sexual and sensual tension released in a big bang. Especially the first kiss... but it wasn't. 

It was beautiful. 

Her soft lips pressed against mine and I slowly took my time exploring the shape of each of her lips. I longed to explore every corner and crevice of her mouth swiftly right then and there. I had my first taste and I knew I was addicted, but forced myself to go slow. 

To relax into the kiss. I could tell she was surprised by the nature of the kiss as well, but I could also tell she was enjoying it this way. 

Both my hands had nestled themselves in her long black curls and she sighed against my lips when my fingers gently tickled and massaged her head and hair. 

When her mouth opened slightly against mine I took the inadvertent opening and slid my tongue between her lips.

Her mouth was indescribably the right combination of... so many things. And as our tongues tangled themselves into some kind of knot of passion I was sure I heard a gasp. Maybe, just maybe that was me. 

It was slow. It was sensual. It was magnificent... and I desperately wanted to continue.

Forever.

Slowly the need for air became too much to ignore and I pulled my mouth away from hers. Her eyes were still closed and I gently kissed her lips once more as I quietly got my breath back. 

Her brown eyes opened slowly and I was caught by surprise by what I saw there. I saw myself. Staring back at me through her eyes. 

I had never seen her brown eyes as clear as they were now. They glistened in the light and had seemed to lose a layer of winter frost that had once veiled their magnificence.

I didn't know how I could have ever compared Blaise's eyes to Hermione's. They were completely different.

They were all hers and no one else's could ever begin to compare. 

I smiled very slightly at her and as if to return us to normalcy I kissed her slowly on each cheek and then on the nose and then pulled away. 

It was my signature move and she smiled brightly at me.

I had never felt quite as happy or content in my life. She rested her head on my chest once more and I wrapped my arms around her waist again. 

Back to normalcy.

"That was quite the potion you made up," I said after a few minutes.

"Hmm," she responded absently, "there truly is a potion that gives any object a stunning sheen from the inside out, however I have never discovered a book with the ingredients or steps for making the Luster Potion in it nor have I ever had the slightest desire to brew it."

I heard another startled gasp and by this time who ever it is who is doing that is really getting on my nerves. Get in inhaler mate. Either that or leave.

"Perhaps you will make it some day. Some day when you miss me and not an ingredient," I say with a smirk as my eyes slowly begin to close.

"I don't miss people Potter, never have and never will. You won't be the first," she said in a half serious half mocking tone.

"You're right," I saw with a yawn, "I will never _be_ the first, because I already am."

She laughs into my chest and I say, "Telling someone you miss them isn't that hard Lacy."

"Stop calling me that," she mutters and I can hear the smile in her voice though I cannot see it on her face. 

"No. I won't stop because I love it. Your first name should have been Angelacy rather than your middle. It's so unusual," I say idly.

"Oh yes because you run across people named Blaise all the time," she says with a stiff. "You could always count on my mother for the abnormal names. Just look at when she suggested to my aunt for her child- Nymphadora. That is hideous. You would think someone named Andromeda would be a bit kinder to their offspring."

"You are Tonks's cousin?" I say suddenly a bit more awake.

"Um hum, second cousins through marriage or something odd like that. My family tree is a big mess. Duels and feuds and disownments, but the women of the family always stick together. Suggesting hideous names for each others children and arranging marriages. It's what they do," she says in response. 

"It's not what _you_ do," I say, slowly feeling myself relaxing now that Order members are no longer our topic of discussion.

"No it's not," she says with grace and continues to proclaim, "I do so solemnly swear that when I have a child they will get a perfectly normal name; and will not be named after some great, great grand uncle from the 1600s when names like Blaise and Draco were at the height of fashion."

"You were named after some great UNCLE of yours?" I interrupt laughing.

"Yes, yes laugh it up. Go ahead. It's not you who has to endure everyone being shocked at your gender." 

"I feel your pain," I say with a smirk. "Where did Angelacy come from?"

"That, my dear, was the name of my great grandmother. Apparently her parent's couldn't settle for Angelica or Angela. There had to be a twist," she says with thinly veiled contempt for her ancestors. 

"Well I think it's adorable, I'd name my daughter Angelacy," I respond with a far off smile.

"Of course you would," she says with a sneer, "And then you'd giver her ridiculous nicknames like Lacy."

"No," I respond slowly, "because then what would I call her mother?"

I hear yet another startled gasp and Blaise gets very tense. I can feel her muscles tighten all through her body on top of mine. Rather like a collection of springs that have wound themselves as tightly as they can. Or a coiled snake. Ready to strike. Or...

...ready to run. 

After a few silent seconds I begin to wonder if I should take it back or say something when she replies, "You're right you could call the little girl Angel and her... mother... would stay Lacy forever."

I heard two startled gasps at this proclamation and I laugh aloud. 

"And what would my wife and I name our little boy," I ask her. "as we would obviously have more than one child?"

"His name would be Harrison," she says firmly.

"You know my full name is Harry," I say after a moment.

"Conceited Gryfindors," she says with a mocking laugh, "Why would I name him after you?" 

I hear a snort from somewhere off in a corner at this and I open my eyes and look at Blaise, "So you're my wife now are you? I don't think I agreed to that." 

"Then don't call me Lacy," she says immediately and I laugh harder at that than I have at anything in a long while. 

Slytherins.

They always get you in the end. The conversation started by her telling me not to call her Lacy and that is exactly how it ended. 

You just can't win.

And as I slowly play with her hair I decide that maybe I really don't want to win.

* * *

I fell asleep in that position with Blaise lying on top of me and my arms carelessly wrapped around her. 

I am unsure of how long I slept but I knew that when I began to wake up I was the most comfortable I had been in a long time. 

At some point Blaise had moved and moved me as well because now she was sitting up in the bed with my head on her lap. 

Her long and slender fingers were running lazily over my wild locks and I could hear her quiet voice above me.

I wanted to sigh and stretch into her embrace, but something stopped me. It took me a minute, but I realized what it was. Blaise was talking to Snape. 

She was sitting on the bed playing with my hair and- ah, and running her warm hand playfully along my somewhat rough (still hadn't shaved yet) cheek- and talking to Snape.

There was something inherently wrong with that.

Luckily some higher being granted me my wish at that moment and I hear Snape say, "Very well Blaise I will see you later. Mind you tell our little hero, when he wakes up that the Headmaster and his _affiliates_ including myself are waiting for him in Dumbledore's office."

Blaise said nothing in response, but she did bend over and place a light kiss on my cheek.

I wasn't sure if it was before or after Snape had left but I didn't really care what that bastard had to say anyway. 

I was warm, I was with Lacy and I was just about ready to fall back asleep when Blaise said, "I know you are awake Harry and I know you don't want to see him or the Headmaster, but I think you should just get up and face the music."

I tensed at that and I knew she could feel it as she pulled me even more into her lap, a position I couldn't help but relax into.

"Now Harry I don't know exactly what is going on here, but I know enough to be able to safely say that you are very angry at the Headmaster for trying to get you to do something you aren't sure you want to.... right?"

I nodded my head, finally opening my eyes.

"Normally I would tell you to not listen to anyone else but yourself, especially when it comes to the Headmaster, but Sev seems to think that you have... and I quote, 'Somehow managed to prove himself worthy to be a part of an organization we all naturally concluded he would be honored at even being invited into...' I can omit some of his choice comments after that, but Harry I can honestly tell you that if my godfather thinks you are ready for... whatever this is, I say you couldn't possibly be more ready."

My eyes widened at this and I longed to tell her the whole story. To tell her what that damned Dumbledore and his "affiliates" had done to me. Then she wouldn't be singing their praises. Not to me at least. 

"You don't know the whole story," I muttered snottily as I tried to go back to sleep.

"I know that," Blaise said in clipped tones which immediately told me that she was very annoyed that she didn't know the whole story. "But I also know that you are being immature."

Alright now I was getting pissed. Who the hell did this girl think she was!?

I, in one swift motion got out of her lap and off the bed, then I started yelling, "Immature?!? ME! Immature! Let me tell you something Blaise Zabini over the past 48 hours I have acted more maturely than you probably have in your whole damned life! And you want to know something else I think I do want to join their little organization, but I know that if I do it will be officially giving up any little part of me that still has some innocence! I have seen so much in my life Blaise and I want to keep what little part of me that is an ordinary 16 year old intact! Is that so WRONG!?"

Screaming without thinking, I realized in that moment, can be a very good thing. I hadn't even known I felt that way until I said it, and once it was out of my mouth I knew it was true.

I also knew that in a minute or so I was either going to fling myself out of the window or start bawling on the floor. But for now I was going to be MAD because being mad is so much easier that being sad.

Blaise was pissed too I saw. Apparently she didn't like Mad Harry! Well that was just too bad if she was going to be my... whatever we were... she was going to have to get used to it!

Then she spoke to me in deadly tones, "Listen to me Potter you had better get off of your damned pity-me-train right now and focus. Whether you like it or not you have a huge role in this battle against Voldemort-" oh if only she knew "- and if you decide that you don't want to be the hero anymore you are damning us all to hell with you! Do you think your parents wanted to be a part of this war?!" I found it odd that she mentioned them so soon after I had seen them. Then she continued.

"They were only a few years older than us when they faced Voldemort if I recall correctly and I bet they didn't bitch about it all the time! They did what they had to and they kept you alive! So now you -because I know you- are eventually going to do your part as well and wasting time denying it is pointless!"

She paused here and I saw something in her eyes that I could only remember seeing there once before- uncertainty. 

"Just be thankful," she finally continued, "that the side you are on is the side that those you love are on. Be thankful that you will always have the support system you need from those on your side." 

'If only you knew Blaise,' I thought bitterly.

"Just be thankful that no one that you know," she continued. "No one that you care about is going to be on the other side of those Death Eater masks. There is so much you should be thankful for if you would just open your eyes..." here she turned her head completely away from me, "... and see it."

My minute was up and I knew that I wasn't going to fling myself out the window. I was going to cry... AGAIN! Damn it when did I become such a sap?! 

I walked slowly over to the bed where she was sitting and I knew by her stance and just the air about her that I wasn't going to be crying alone. 

I sat down on the bed and wrapped my arms around her from behind. Thankfully she didn't yell at me or resist. She just leaned back into my chest and we sat like that for a moment.

Finally I shifted my face and kissed her temple and then her cheek and then her ear and when my lips were hovering right above it I absently whispered to her that I was sorry.

And the truth was that I really was sorry. For the war, for her part in it, and for my part in it. Sorry for so many things that I could not even begin to explain. But I was so very sorry.

And when she began to tremble very slightly, when I could taste the salty tears on her skin as I kissed her over and over again- I took some bit of comfort in the fact that I was there to hold her.

Hold her as more tears slipped down my own face and mingled with hers because that was all I could do. I realized something just then.

Helplessness is a hideous feeling. 

* * *

**Author's (C. Night) Notes**: WHOA! Would you check that sucker out! 8,000 words! I am amazed! This is the first time I wrote that much. This is also the first time I didn't write a chapter in one day. And the first time I had time gaps in a chapter. Usually I just sit and write one and then post it. I sit there for a few good long hours and just type and type and type .Do a little proof reading and post, but this one I did in pieces. So tell me which way you like better. No real answers are out there yet, this is obviously not the last chapter, and we don't even know if Harry is going to join the Order. Let me know what you think. I think after this long, long chapter I deserve a couple of words from all of you people reading it! Thanks! 

_Now to the wonderful people who reviewed the last chapter:_

**Thesteffis****: **Thank you very much for reviewing! I think I will take you up on that beta- reading offer so expect an e-mail from me sometime soon. I'll make sure to indicate who I am in the subject line. I am not sure if I will for this story as it is almost over, but if I get enough response and decide to do a sequel or anything else you'll be hearing from me with Chapter 1. Thanks again!

**V & C (**who I suspect are the same person)**: **thank you very much for reviewing and I would never leave a story hanging like that. Have no doubt I will finish this. Please come again!

**Heather**: I mentioned your question about the all the Order members being tested in this chapter but it will be answered in the next. Thanks for reviewing and please continue to read!

**Forge forever**: Thank you very much for reviewing! This was my fastest update yet so I hope you enjoy it!

**Night Serpent (NS)**: I am actually glad you thought it was funny because then I wrote it I thought the whole thing was hilarious but then I was like oh that's just because I am completely sadistic. Good to see I am not alone! As for a sequel... the ideas are coming. If I do it, it will probably be the rest of 6th year. So it would be was bigger than this story (can you believe this story take place over a span of less than two days). I have to think on it. Thanks for reviewing and come again! 

**Hplova4eva**: I love your user name! I hope Harry was angry enough for you. I thought he was rather generous actually. Thanks for reviewing and come again!

**SilverDragonHawk**: A very astute observation. If Harry had been in Dumbledore's office when this was all revealed I would have been tempted to make him slam Fawkes' perch over the old man's head! Thanks for reviewing, I appreciate it!

**XoXMelJayXoW**: Yes Dumbledore does deserve every bit of revenge Harry can think up, but Harry is inherently good so I couldn't have him kill the old man. Too bad if you ask me... lol. Thanks for reviewing and come again! 

**Silver Queen**: Nope, no head lopping, but that seems to be what all the readers wanted. Too bad. I could have had fun with that if Harry would have ever had the nerve to do it. Sigh... maybe next chapter. Thanks for reviewing and come again! 

**Wanderingwolf**: Well you have done well analyzing my story so far. I enjoy reading your guesses. I am not sure if I will include it in the future chapters but just so you know it was Remus who groaned before Harry started chewing out all the Dumbledores in chapter 8. Snape was a good guess though. Thanks for reviewing and come again! 

**Jaycee:** Thank you for you opinion! I was a bit hesitant over the ending originally because I thought people would chew me out for ending abruptly like that. But it was pretty clever of me wasn't it. :::Stands up proudly::: Thank you for reviewing and come again, you make me feel good lol!

**Angelis1**: I think we'd all have been pisssed. Thanks for reviewing and come again!

**Lady Shang**: I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well. More to come with the Order. Thanks for reviewing and come again!

**RavenRose**: Harry will get a bit more 1 on1 bashing with Dumbledore later on but for now I'd say he did a good job with the anger toward the Order part. Thanks for reviewing and come again!

**Sea Turtles**: The ever faithful! Interesting review technique you have. I just review once I read something. Sometimes I don't even bother to sign in I just make up some odd name and say "good". Therefore I appreciate your reviews even more because I know I wouldn't write as much. Thanks a whole bunch for reviewing and come again! 

**Marie**: Harry denouncing the Order. You'll have to wait for chapter 10 to see if he does that. It is a bit of a reoccurring plot line though. Thanks for reviewing and come again! 

**TheAlphieParadox**: Another one of the weird ones like me who thought the ending was hilarious. You people make me smile. Harry goes through hell and we all laugh. Hehehe... Thanks for reviewing and come again! 

Until next time.... **review!**

* * *


	10. The Phoenixes of Chaos & Stability

Author: C. Night

Rating: PG-13

Category: Action/Adventure & Mystery

Disclaimer: Anything that you, Harry Potter fan that you are, recognize does not belong to me nor do I claim credit for it. All of the people, places and things of the HP universe belong to a Miss JK Rowling and a whole bunch of other chosen people. Anything you don't recognize, however, belongs to me and I would appreciate it if I was given due credit for them/it. Thanks. 

A/N: We are almost at the end. Please let me know what you think. And a special Thank you to the editor in chief. You know who you are! 

Title: Getting Out or Dying Trying

Chapter 10: The Phoenixes of Chaos & Stability 

Remain Calm.

That was all I could do. One foot in front of the other. Keep walking and keep breathing. Don't think. 

On my way to Dumbledore's office at 11:45 in the evening of Christmas. I must say this isn't how I thought I would be spending my holiday. 

The gargoyle looms in front of me and I try to remember the latest password. Candy... what kind had been a fascination of Dumbledore's lately? 

He had delved into Muggle sweets and from what I remember he had developed a fondness for, "Candy Canes."

Nothing. 

The statue remains immobile and I feel like kicking the damned thing. It's not like I want to be here in the first place. Why should I even bother guessing anymore? I stare hard at the gargoyle and turn away from it. 

I have to go up there. To get this settled. I wanted to finish. To be done. To get my answers and decide what the hell I was going to do about joining. 

"Bloody Order," I mutter and much to my amusement the gargoyle opens. 

Apparently Dumbledore is trying to get me in a good mood before I come up to his office. He probably doesn't want me to attack anyone or break some more of his precious knick-knacks. 

Well, in that case... maybe I will anyway. 

I walk quickly up the revolving staircase and stop at the door leading to the office. I raise my hand to knock, but the door opens before my fist ever touches it. 

The room is different. That much is obvious. 

There are long candles all over, which set an eerie glow on the circular office. The Headmaster's desk is gone and in its place there is a round table in the middle of the room. At the table seven people sit. 

Professor Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall, Arthur Weasley, Snape, Alastor Moody, Kingsley Shacklebolt, and Remus Lupin.

Each of them is wearing the blue robes I have come to despise so much. 

There is one empty seat obviously reserved for me. 

I move forward and stand behind the chair. I wait. I am not sitting down until they ask me to. Something feels oddly ceremonious about the whole thing and as the portraits still lining the Headmaster's office watch me very closely I immediately feel tense. 

"Please sit down Mr. Potter," the Headmaster says and I oblige. 

No need to start off by breaking anything. I figure I will let them talk before I kill them. Well, not _kill_... ok yes maybe kill. But first I need to know some things. 

"Over the past two days you, Harry James Potter, have been subjected to a test we in the Order refer to as The Crucible," Dumbledore intones gravely. 

I contain a harsh snort at that- a crucible indeed.

"The test is an evaluation of your physical and mental endurance, magical prowess, daring, and values." Here Dumbledore pauses and seems to be suppressing a smile, "And over the past two days you, Harry, have exceeded all of our previous expectations and passed in a more spectacular manner than many believed possible."

I open my mouth to spew out a series of curses and accusations, but I find that my vocal cords have seized up, preventing me from speaking. Snape smirks at me.

Git.

Dumbledore continues, "Now before I explain what each portion of your test was designed to examine in your character, I believe it would be easier to immediately answer any of the more pressing questions you have in order to ensure that your attention be completely focused on the information I will be giving in a few moments. So Harry, ask away."

I feel my vocal cords relax and I know Snape has taken off his hex. So many questions. I want to know so much a million things flood to the forefront of my mind, but the one that I find the most urgent spurts out first, "Why did you have to kill Estine?"

Dumbledore seems a bit shocked, "Was that his name? I hadn't been aware. Either way the demise of your reptilian companion was necessary in order for you testing to be considered properly unaided. One of the main purposes of the test was to ensure that when faced with a difficult situation alone, you would be able to defend yourself and determine your own courses of action. To put it simply your snake, Estine was it?, was beginning to be considered too much of an asset to allow you to keep."

I wanted to scream. Estine was more to me than "an asset" damn it. He was more loyal to me than anyone in this room, but I had to know... how had they gotten Neolik involved? 

So I asked.

"Well," Professor Dumbledore answered, "the owner of the castle you were tested in told me about a huge snake which lived on the outskirts of the Forbidden forest that had the odd tendency to devour all of the other snakes in the area. In fact, he told me that that particular snake was quite useful in getting rid of all the poisonous snakes in the area such as your Estine."

I couldn't stand it anymore. I stood up and slammed my hands down on the table in front of me, "USEFUL in getting RID OF ESTINE! That snake helped me more than most of you have in your whole-"

I found to my annoyance that Snape had snapped my vocal cords shut again and Moody and Shacklebolt were forcing me back into my seat. 

"Now Harry," Professor McGonagall said once I was seated, "this discussion must be had and it would be much easier to finish if you would control your outbursts." Her stern lips narrowed as she said, "We have some things to discuss with you as well and we aren't particularly pleased with them either. So please restrain yourself."

One of the portraits on the wall muttered a "Quite right!" and I shot all of them (as I didn't know which one it was) a tremendously dirty look.

Professor Dumbledore cleared his throat to get my attention back on him and said, "Very well Harry, your next question."

I thought about the new information I had just gained and said, "Who is the owner of that castle I was in?"

At this Dumbledore smiled, "That would be my brother Aberforth. He, his children and his grandchild live there. He was kind enough, as he is a member of the Order as well, to allow us to use it for our purposes."

My breath caught in my throat, "So Andrew, Adrianna and-" 

"Yes, Andrew Dumbledore is my brother's grandson and Adrianna Dumbledore, his twin sister, is his granddaughter." Dumbledore answered. "You didn't run into Aberforth's son and his daughter in law as they had decided to stay in a separate portion of the castle during your testing. Andrew and Adrianna had originally been supposed to remain there as well, however Aberforth thought that Andrew, brilliant child that he is, could be used as part of your testing. Adrianna - the little darling- decided that she wanted to play in the testing area and my brother never had the heart to tell her no. Mind you, don't tell Adrianna's father she was there as I am sure Anthony would be furious with both her and his father."

I nodded dumbly at all of this and then it hit me, "Everyone in your family has names that begin with the letter A?" 

Dumbledore chuckled, "Yes, it is a bit of a family obsession."

I didn't find it amusing. 

I couldn't believe I hadn't seen it before. Andrew and Adrianna both had bright blue eyes just like Dumbledore's and I distinctly remembered that in Tom Riddle's diary from my second year that Dumbledore once had red hair just about the exact same shade as that of the two children.

"Wait, what about Abe? That kid whose room I was in before I found... you," I said awkwardly. 

At this everyone at the table laughed, "Aberforth, my brother," Dumbledore explained, "prefers to be referred to as Abe."

My eyes widened, "But that room was a kid's room. The walls, the bed, there were toys in there! There was even a little kiddy sign on the door with a..."

OH MERLIN!

The sign on that door! The sign had what on it? A goat reading a book. And what was the only piece of information I had even known about Aberforth Dumbledore prior to today? 

I thought back to the time in my fourth year when Dumbledore, Hermione, Ron, Hagrid and I were talking about family members we had that weren't exactly model citizens. What had Dumbledore said? 

"My own brother Aberforth, was prosecuted for practicing improper charms on a goat. It was all over the papers, but did Aberforth hide? No, he did not! He held his head high and went about his business as usual! Of course, I am not entirely sure he can read..." the old Headmaster had told us. 

Aberforth couldn't read and he supposedly practiced charms on a goat! The sign must have been some kind of joke. 

I couldn't believe it. I started laughing. It was almost too ridiculous to believe.

When I finally stopped laughing Dumbledore said, "The Dumbledores have always been educators and it is tradition for us to own castles hidden very nearby the schools in which we teach. When I chose to simply live in Hogwarts full time when I became Headmaster, I simply gave my castle to my brother and his family. Thus the mystery of its location is revealed."

So far everything made sense, but I still wanted to know something that would determine just how mad I was going to get when this conversation was all over, "Does every single order member go through this test?"

At my words all of the people at the table froze.

Dumbledore inhaled deeply and finally said, "You are the first to go through the Crucible." 

I think they all expected me to knock over the table and scream and start slicing and dicing them with my sword (which wasn't even with me by the way), but I didn't.

I just sat there. I turned my green eyes on the Headmaster's blue ones and said, "Why me?"

Dumbledore seemed to be immensely relieved that I hadn't gone spare at the news and said, "Well normally we do not let anyone join the Order until they are of age thus the idea of initiating you caused quite the stir. It was decided that we should give you some sort of test to make sure you were both capable and worthy. Originally the test was going to be much simpler and take place right in the school. Furthermore, we were going to tell you what was going on rather than..."

"Kidnapping me," I finished harshly.

"Yes," Dumbledore said softly.

"Then why the sudden change of heart?" I demanded angrily.

"Well that has to do with the traditional structure of the Order. Since its formation the Order has always had its Head and then an inner and outer circle. The Inner Order has always consisted of eight members. These eight are then divided into two groups which we in the Order have nicknamed Chaos and Stability. The Chaos Sector deals with the matters of crisis situations. This group is the one which gathers members from the outer order and leads them into combat and also helps the Head of the Order decide on a course of action in the times when Voldemort attacks or when the Ministry becomes, as it did over the previous year, a hostile organization," Dumbledore began to explain.

The Head of the Order took a breath and continued, "The Stability Sector performs tasks more common to every day life. They focus most of their attention on matters of retaining peace. They work in the ministry in the school and even among the ranks of Voldemort himself to try, in anyway they can, to keep the piece. Now since the Order has reformed, the inner Order has comprised of the following individuals you see before you. The Chaos Sector consists of Alastor Moody, Kingsley Shacklebolt, and Remus Lupin. The Stability Sector consists of Arthur Weasley, Minerva McGonagall, and Severus Snape. The very people here with you today. And I, of course, am the Head," Professor Dumbledore continued.

"But what does this have to do with you? I am sure you are wondering," Dumbledore continued before I could say a word. "Last year, it was decided that the inner order would only comprise of seven members rather than eight. Three in the Stability Sector and the usual four in the Chaos Sector. The last spot in the Stability Sector was to be saved for you once you turned of age. However, with Sirius' unfortunate demise last year, we are now left with one less Phoenix agent in the Chaos Sector. As a remedy it was suggested, by Remus Lupin, that we bring you into the Order early and have you take up your held position in the Stability Sector immediately. However that would still leave us with only three agents in the Chaos Sector. Of course, it was immediately suggested that we promote someone from the outer order, such as Nymphadora Tonks, up to take that spot. However, I had an idea."

Dumbledore paused here and seemed to be bracing himself for a terrible backlash from me. "I suggested that we have you join the Order of the Phoenix and become the first person to take up a double position as both a Chaos Agent and a Stability Agent. The idea was at first shot down by many protestors in both the inner and outer circle who felt that you were not even ready to take up your position in the tamer Stability Sector, let alone the violent and arduous job of a Chaos Agent. So then a new test was proposed and for many weeks we devised a strenuous test to see if you could truly handle the job of a Chaos Agent as well as a Stability Agent. As an Stability Agent, you would have simply had to make sure that all the students in school were not alarmed by the situation with Voldemort. You would have had to just take up the role as the student role model, someone to whom students could go to if they had any questions about the war; but as a Chaos Agent you would be thrust into the heat of battle. You must understand Harry, we _had_ to test you."

Chaos, Stability, The Order, Voldemort, Sirius and the Ministry! It was so much to take in, but I was beginning to understand. 

I didn't like it, but I understood it. 

"So how did you set up this whole test," I find myself saying and I honestly wonder why the hell I am even asking. I don't really care at all. I am just glad I got out of there. I don't want to know about how they set it up. I really don't.... but then Moody starts talking and I find myself listening anyway.

"Well, Potter," the man said in his usual gruff tones, "you'll be saddened to hear that it is disturbingly easy to kidnap you. It's a wonder that Voldemort hasn't done it more often."

I narrow my eyes and he seems to decide that he has said enough on that subject. So he continues to explain how they did it. "Now I know you don't remember how you got into your little Starting Cubicle, so I'll tell you. It was around 10:00 on the night before Christmas Eve and you were strolling back from the kitchens where you had spent an hour doing Merlin knows what with the Zabini girl." 

Both Snape and I gave him the most deadly glares known to man, but he brushed them off with the ease of a true Auror. "Next time you want to go traipsing around with your girlfriend Potter, be a bit more alert. Although I will give you credit for not looking like you were being alert. But your eyes gave you away. Twinkling as madly as Albus' over here." At this, I blushed the tiniest bit and Dumbledore broke out into a bright and genuine smile. Damn him. "So I knew you really weren't paying attention to anyone or anything as you walked back to your tower. Thus it was ridiculously easy for me to stun you and cart you to Dumbledore's office where we portkeyed you and me directly into a cell we had prepared."

When Moody saw my eyes widen he said, "Yes, you and me. I came with you, transfigured a chair, tied you to it, placed an Aucupium on you (which is a device sort of like a Muggle surveillance camera on you so that we would be able to see everything you did no matter where you were), and finally I pulled your wand out of your wrist holster and hid it in a corner under a obscuration charm." 

My eyes widen again and I felt like slamming my head into the table. My wand had been there the entire time, in the cell with me and I didn't even know it. 

"We had thought," spoke Remus for the first time since I saw him, "that it would be far too difficult for you to try to ward off the boggarts we had set up outside your cell and escape without a wand. You proved us wrong."

"I must commend you Harry," Professor McGonagall said from her seat to my right, "for your intense magical focus, as it takes a tremendous amount of will power, not only magical power, to create spherical manifestations of raw magic as you did to destroy the walls of your cell."

"BUT," Moody put in, "It was incredibly stupid of you not too feel around for your wand instead of assuming that it wasn't around just because you couldn't see it."

"Boggarts?" I muttered weakly.

"Yes," Remus responded, "We set up a station of about five boggarts outside of your cell in the hopes that your greatest fear would still be dementors and that they would cause your escape to be even more difficult. They seemed to affect you even more severely than usual, but we weren't sure exactly what they did to you."

"Visions," I whispered. "Instead of just hearing the deaths of my parents, Cedric, and Sirius, I could see them too."

This proclamation drew gasps from McGonagall and Mr. Weasley (who until then hadn't said a word) and widened eyes from everyone else, but Snape (who of course didn't really care).

"Well," Moody continued after a minute or so of silence. "Once you escaped the room, with that snake we weren't exactly sure how to proceed. Originally we were going to have fifteen of the outer order members come into the room you were in and fight you, but then we decided that fifteen would be too many for a kid without a wand. So we quickly downsized to ten." 

"Tonks, Bill Weasley, Charlie Weasley, Molly Weasley, Diggle, Fletcher, Vance, Jones, Podmore and Doge," said Moody ticking them off on his fingers, "were all sent in to get you once you were stuck trying to open the door. They were told not to use any Unforgivables, of course, not to let you know who they were, and to fight as though you were not a Death Eater, but just a hostile innocent (as you run across those every so often). Since you didn't have a wand we all expected it to be over soon and we would decide based on your performance if we would let you in the Order."

"You, however, surprised us all when you stole Diggle's wand right from the get go with that leg swiping trick of yours," Moody said with a hint of pride in his gruff voice.

"But of course there still were nine of them verses only one of you. And then, once we all thought that you were through you transformed into that –"

"Absolutely magnificent creature," Remus finished with a somewhat wistful smile. 

"Yes, he does have quite an impressive form, doesn't he?" McGonagall agreed with a satisfied smile.

"Right," Moody said with the air of someone desperate to escape the topic at hand, "So then you transformed knock down Fletcher, Tonks, and Vance all in one shot and when Molly tried to shoot a spell at her you pounced on her."

My heart stops for a moment at this. That woman that I got quite a bit of satisfaction in bury my claws into was Mrs. Weasley? The same Mrs. Weasley who knits me sweaters and sends me cakes in the summer? 

Mr. Weasley seems to be able to read my expression and says, "Don't you worry about Molly, Harry, she is perfectly alright now. No scars or anything," he reassured me. "Though there was quite a bit of blood at first. Never mind that though, she's fine Harry, no harm done." 

I let out a breath of relief before I could stop myself. What was I doing? She was attacking me. I had only attacked her in self defense! I shouldn't feel sorry! 

But I did... damned conscience.

"Well then you created that rope to the ceiling, quite the trick there Potter, but one must ask why you didn't levitate yourself," Moody continued as if there had been no pause. 

"I didn't have my own wand yet," I answered. "I wasn't about to use a wand which wasn't even that compatible with me to begin with to levitate myself to the ceiling. And besides if I was going to use a spell to break the ceiling how could I do that while holding a levitating spell?"

Moody seemed to nod to himself before he said, "You are quite good a rope climbing though aren't you?"

I narrowed my eyes annoyed, yes I was good. I knew that already. Stop trying to suck up to me! I wanted to scream. I was still angry and telling me I was a good rope climber wasn't going to change anything. 

'In fact,' I realized just then, 'nothing any of them could _ever_ say would make things be the same as they were. Maybe I still would join the Order and maybe we would still talk, maybe we would still even laugh and joke together, but things would never, ever be the same as they were. 

Amazing how so much can change in mere hours. So many people I would never fully trust again. I sigh and much to my amusement realize that Moody has still been talking during my inner-musings. 

"After you patched up your hole in the glass ceiling we wondered just exactly you were going to do on the roof," his gruff voice was declaring.

"You see, Mr. Potter," Professor McGonagall takes over seemingly due to the fact that she realized I was not paying attention, "We had not anticipated any movement of yours on the roof so we just decided to see that your course of action would be should no one interfere." 

"And brilliant Potter decided," Snape said bitingly, "to take a nap on the freezing cold roof."

"On the contrary Severus," Professor Dumbledore retorted carefully, "Harry's decision to regain his strength on the roof was a critical well-made decision. If you will recall, he healed himself while atop the roof and got a bit of a rest after his no doubt exhausting venture into the passion filled world of wandless magic."

Snape snorts and I try to keep my face absolutely expressionless. I do not accept complements from Albus Dumbledore without suspicion. 

Dumbledore seems to read my expressionless face... how he did that... I have no idea, but the sigh he lets out upon looking at my face almost makes me feel bad.

Almost.

"Well," Professor McGonagall picks up the tale, "then you proceeded from the chimney to the parlor in which Miss. Dumbledore was...playing," she pauses here and seems to be trying to refrain from making an unflattering comment about Adrianna. 

"And after regaining your... Estine you continued directly into the next test. A test of your values. Originally the test was designed not to test your fighting skills, but was meant as a test of your principles."

"This Order," Remus picks up smoothly, "is an organization based upon aiding those of both the magical and muggle communities in any way that we can and refusing to give up regardless of unfavorable circumstance or nearly impossible odds."

I had to physically lift my hand and cover my mouth to somewhat bury my snort at this statement. That was the biggest load of dung I had ever heard in my life. Oh, yes sending me through "the crucible" was very kind indeed.

Right.

All the Order members looked at me reprovingly when I snorted (though I did at least try to hide it), and I refused to look away. I dared them. 

'Go ahead. Try to tell me I was being disrespectful. Go ahead and I will break everything in this office. And then,' I thought as my glance drifted to the candles all around, 'I'll set it on fire.'

I smile slightly at the thought.

Snape narrows his eyes at me and I can feel him trying to get into my head, but my shields are up. Occlumency at its best. He isn't getting in my thoughts. Not today. 

Dumbledore breaks our staring contest with a harsh cough and I lean back in my chair satisfied that I am no longer the subject of Snape's probing. 

Remus seems a bit shaken up but continues, "Right, so the room that you entered contained Mr. Andrew Dumbledore chained to a table being subjected to a variant of the Cruciatus curse."

I am sure my jaw hit the floor with that statement. They subjected a child to something close to the Cruciatus just to "test" me. 

"That is hideous," I say aloud more to myself than anyone else, but Dumbledore responds. 

"Harry," he says quite calmly, "I would never subject my brother's grandson to any kind of pain. I would never do that to anyone I love unless _absolutely necessary_."

I got the hidden message behind those words. But I really didn't want to think about what _that_ could mean for me.

I sighed, "Right sure, whatever you say. And this is getting fairly ridiculous. I already know exactly what I went through over the past two days... do I really need you to recite it all to me? Trust me, I have things I'd rather be doing."

'Do I ever... and not alone either,' I think making sure to leave my thoughts open for viewing just to see... ah there it is!

Snape's upper lip was just about lost in the sneer that seemed to develop over him entire face.

I wanted to grin like a five year old, but alas I could not.

Snape looked about ready to explode and snapped out, "Well pardon us for wanting to take up some of your precious and very valuable time Potter," he began spitting my name like a swear word. 

"Perhaps we should find someone else to take your two positions as I am sure that there are others who would value them far more than you do!" he continued viciously.

I couldn't help but respond in the same manner. Standing up I slam my hands on the round table in front of me and scream, "FINE! Why don't you do find someone else to take your precious Order positions up instead of me!" 

I pause at the semblance of satisfaction that flashes briefly across the face of the Potion's Master. He wanted me to refuse. That was his plan. He goaded me on and is trying to get me to storm out. 

I wanted to leap across the table and bash the man's brains out. Instead I did something that would infuriate him even more.

I sat back down.

"I am truly sorry," I said in a suddenly polite and calm tone. "Terrible bouts of temper I've been dealing with lately. Please continue your explanation and I am sure that I will come to reason and gladly take up my two coveted positions in your prestigious Order."

All at once it seemed that every one at the table's jaws hit the floor excepting Snape Dumbledore and obviously my own. 

Harry Potter feints left, the crowd can't find him! What the hell is going on?!

Dumbledore is grinning like a mad man and I want to shake him silly, but I want to drive Snape out his mind more...but shaking Dumbledore repeatedly and demanding that he explain his warped thought process has been one of my dreams for quite some time now... ah decisions decisions! 

I choose Snape's insanity.

Snape though seems to know my game and says, "Why Mr. Potter I'd be happy to carry on with our explanation of the events of the last two days. Let's continue with how we subjected Andrew Dumbledore to a Cruciatus like curse, locked him into a magically sustained web of magic, and forced him to scream."

My blood is boiling, but I force myself to smile lightly and say, "Ah, but I believe Professor Dumbledore was about to explain the exact type of spell dear Andrew was under. Weren't you Professor?"

Dumbledore grins at me and says, "Ah yes the curse is very complicated, but simply it causes the same outward effects of the Cruciatus without the intense pain associated. I am sure your friend Miss Granger would be quite willing to explain all its properties to you should you wonder. And Andrew I must say was quite pleased at the chance to make a ruckus by screaming him little lungs out." 

I smile here; Andrew is a wonderful child... even though he is a Dumbledore thing. 

"But carrying on," Dumbledore continued, "You entered our little chamber and tried to force yourself past Professor McGonagall, Professor Snape, Alastor, Arthur Weasley, and our own Tonks. 

"Now you must understand Harry," the aged Headmaster told me, "that the web of magic you tore through today was held up by five very powerful wizards and witches, and yet you tore through it, wand waving, like a knife through a chocolate frog. An impressive feat indeed. You must tell us what spells you used to get through."

Smiling slightly I ignored Dumbledore's request and said, "A knife through a chocolate frog?" 

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled a bit more brightly and said, "What spells Harry?"

Damn. No sidestepping today.

"I don't know. I just got really mad," Snape snorted at this and I paused to smile at him. When the man grimaced I smiled even more brightly.

I think I just found my new hobby.

Dumbledore coughed once more and I wondered vaguely if I should offer him a cough drop. I turned my gaze from Snape and said, "Yeah, I don't know what spells I use I got really angry and I just ran straight into the thing."

Dumbledore seemed pleased while the others at the table seemed shocked, but before I could ask he was continuing with the story.

"After freeing Andrew you engaged in a rather nasty skirmish in which you showed us your ability to apparate, your intense dueling ability against very skilled opponents indeed and of course the astounding transfiguration of you two Aedifico clones," Dumbledore said proudly. 

I nodded along bored, only half listening to what Dumbledore was saying until he said, "Then proceeded to use Estine to deliver quite the incapacitating blow to Auror Tonks."

"That was Tonks?" I said astounded. 

I couldn't believe it. I had felt such an intense hated for that woman who had been taunting me in the chamber. I had even laughed after Estine had bit her. And then Andrew had told me about his venom being-

"Is she ok?" I asked hurriedly. If anything had happened to Tonks because of me I was-

My thoughts were interrupted by Dumbledore saying, "Yes Harry she is perfectly fine. As an Auror, Tonks is required to know a multitude of spells to heal and even detoxify the worst of snake bites." 

I was still a bit skeptical, "But Andrew-"

"Really Potter," Snape said impatiently are you really going to take the word of a five year old boy over that of the Headmaster?"

I resisted the urge to spit in his face and smiled sweetly, "You're right Professor Snape. What was I thinking?"

Snape smirked and said, "Well if I may take up the tale Headmaster, you, Potter, proceeded to try to take young Mr. Dumbledore to safety only to have him taken from you by the recently bitten Auror Tonks who knew he had to be kept away from you for fear that he reveal anything. Then after you regained your sight which you foolishly allowed to be taken from you, you then proceeded to gain a sudden knowledge of the castle. Enough so to navigate yourself and your _snake_ out doors. Would you care, Mr. Potter to explain your sudden knowledge?"

I actually though about it for a moment before I said, "I cannot explain it, though I think it had something to do with my lost eyesight. It turned out to be quite the benefit. Wouldn't you say?" 

Snape's eyes narrowed and he kept his mouth shut.

We sat in silence for a moment before Remus cleared his throat and said, "Very well. So you got outside and ventured into the forest... and I believe we all know what happened out there. This was not a part of your test at all. In fact we had expected the last room would be able to enter to be the one with Andrew in it. But as usual," he said with a smile, "You surpassed everyone's expectations. 

I smiled somewhat genuinely at this. But quickly wiped it off my face when I remembered Remus's part in the events. 

"After you gained the Sword and killed the snake you collapsed and we had our opportunity to bring you back to the castle. When you awoke eight of us were in Abe's room with you. Most had actually been recently healed in the area. We had to keep you in there as your final test was hurriedly being prepared nearby, but when you got upset at our teasing you used your sword as... a wand and... discovered your heritage."

"So you knew? About me being the heir?" I demanded angrily forgetting all about my false happiness in the heat of the moment. 

"Yes Harry," Dumbledore responds and I can't help but admire the way that he has been fielding all the difficult questions rather than letting others take any of the heat. 

"We were aware of your heritage but did not tell you as it truly doesn't change who you are. We were afraid that you may feel additional pressure from it were you to know, the same kind of pressure you must feel in being the Boy-Who-Lived and we thought it would be beneficial to spare you some of that." 

Dumbledore sees my mouth opening and hurries on, "I am aware that it wasn't truly our right, but we were going to inform you when you turned of age and inherited the Sword and other Gryffindor artifacts. Please understand Harry that we were just trying to spare you an extra burden."

Tired of yelling I just nodded and Dumbledore seemed to appreciate it. I mean really, was I not still the same person that I was before I knew? I was still me, so what did it really matter? So I was coming from a powerful line, didn't I already know I was powerful? Alright, so no big deal.

Professor Dumbledore continued, "After stunning the eight Order members including Remus here, you followed the interestingly realistic false smell of food we used to lure you to the dining hall where you found me along with four of my own Aedifico clones. But these were specially designed to search you for certain qualities. Did you not wonder why exactly the corpses of my clones produced seemingly randomly colored phoenixes?"

I felt like whacking the man over the head. Of course I had wondered! 

I think my thought showed in my expression for Dumbledore said, "Each of the phoenixes and the smoke they appeared in matched the colors of each of the four Hogwarts houses. And after you were able to decide which one of the five was not me the birds would appraise you and if they deemed you worthy to be a member of the house whose colors they wore they would let out a note and disappear."

"Obviously," the Remus continued, "You were decided to have all of the qualities of each of the four houses and in being able to determine which of the five were frauds and which the true Albus Dumbledore you were finally decided to be worthy of two positions in the Order." 

There was moment of silence and McGonagall said, "Your reaction was... unexpected to say the least; though in hindsight it should have been rather obvious. We had just put you through an excruciating evaluation and expected you to welcome those you had seen as enemies with open arms. But you have to understand that we were cheering you on internally the entire time. Even when we were aiming curses your way we were desperately hoping you would dodge and praying that you would know the counter curse. It was quite relieving for us to see you succeed so wonderfully. We were so proud and we knew your parents would have been so proud. So in the happiness of the moment we forgot that you were naturally going to be angry. Can you really fault us for that Harry?"

I sat still for a good few minutes. Could I really blame them for that? 

"No," I finally whispered. "I can't blame you for that."

Arthur Weasley seemed immensely relieved at this and said, "So we can begin the planning of your formal initiation immediately. We were hoping that it would be soon. A few days from now at most and definitely before the holiday is over. Then afterward you could come and spend some time at the Burrow afterwards, the kids were very upset that Molly and I would not be around for all of Christmas day with them, but it would surely make up for it if we were to bring you home with-!" 

"No," I interrupted coldly. 

Everyone at the table who had begun to relax and start smiling at me immediately tensed again.

"No what, Harry?" Mr. Weasley asked carefully. 

"No visits to the Burrow, not now. I am sorry Mr. Weasley I have someone to spend my holiday with right here," I responded.

The tension seemed to leave the table once more. Mr. Weasley smiled slightly and said, "Very well then Harry, perhaps next year. But about the initia-"

"No initiation," I said firmly. 

"But Harry-" six voices began to protest at me all at once.

"I said," I interrupted clearly, "that I forgave you for loosing yourselves in the moment and trying to congratulate me after putting me through hell, however the entire Crucible... I don't think I can _ever_ forgive you for that. Regardless of what you were trying to test or what positions you needed to see if I could fill what you did was inexcusable. I am not saying no outright, even though that is what I desperately want to do. I want to make sure I think this through properly. I need time. I need time to think it over and I cannot guarantee that I will have decided what to do by the end of the Christmas holiday. So if you want to save my positions while I decide I would appreciate it, but if you need them filled don't hesitate in doing so. I need more time than you are offering me right now."

"It is good that you are being so mature about this Harry however," Dumbledore began, but I interrupted.

"No however's. I have made my decision. I need more time to think this through properly," I said standing up and making for the door.

At the last minute I turned around and said, "Can I have my wand?"

And as Dumbledore handed me the slender holly wand I saw many conflicting emotions brewing in his stormy blue eyes. 

~*~*~*~*~

Author (C. Night) Notes: Sigh... that chapter was hell on earth! I still don't even like it but I had to post it. URG! If you liked it be sure to tell me. If not I might get all annoyed and take it down because I think it sucks. I am desperately trying to hit 100 reviews before this thing is over so please, please review! Only the epilogue left now. But I honestly don't know. I have to give it some more thought because I was thinking of including another Blaise scene and if I did that it would be another chapter and then the epilogue. But either way it will be over very soon! Sigh... it's been lots of fun! 

Alright now I've had several ideas for stories bouncing around my head all of which would be related in some way shape or form to this story so I would like you all to vote (in a review) on which one you like best and I can start setting down some ideas on paper based on what people want to read. 

Here we go (working titles):

1) Diary of a Tainted Aristocrat- A Blaise Zabini story which would be written from her point of view (1st person). It would begin in the summer before 6th year in which she interacts with good old Cousin Draco, Aunt Narcissa, and of course good old aspiring Death Eater Dad. It would progress into the school year when she becomes potions partners with the one and only Harry Potter. Read as her views crumble beneath her and she and Harry work to build up new ones together. It will NOT be in diary style. 

2) Behind The Crucible- This would be very closely linked with GOoDT and would be the Order's POV on both Harry's testing and reaction. It would start before he actually took the test and would show exactly how it was planned and reveal every single little thing hidden in GOoDT that otherwise you may never know. It would be written in the 3rd person.

3) Through Hell and High Water- A Hermione/Ron story in which we explore their newly developing relationship and see just how JKR's seemingly    canon couple will stand against my whims. Hehehe! (It will not be picture perfect, as I really think that if the two do end up together their relationship will not be easy.) And we'll explore their reaction when Harry finally fesses up about Blaise and the deeply passionate relationship he is developing with the Slytherin. How will it affect the trio's friendship? And will it cause trouble with Ron and Hermione's relationship? Um...YES! 

There is one more, but I can't put it here as it has to do with the ending of this story and obviously you don't know what is going to happen yet! Heheh! So just vote on these for now. Thanks. 

_To the wonderful people who reviewed the last chapter I would love to put all of your names up here and express just how much every word means to me as usual, but alas it is later than usual and I have to get up early tomorrow. I am sorry, but this coveted section of mine will have to wait until another time, but please continue to review. I really do appreciate it. Thank you! _

Until next time.... **review!**

~*~*~*~*~


	11. On the Mend

Author: C. Night

Rating: PG-13

Category: Action/Adventure & Romance (at least for this chapter)

Disclaimer: Anything that you, Harry Potter fan that you are, recognize does not belong to me nor do I claim credit for it. All of the people, places and things of the HP universe belong to a Miss JK Rowling and a whole bunch of other chosen people. Anything you don't recognize, however belongs to me and I would appreciate due credit for it. Thanks. 

A/N: Sniff! Sniff! Oh mother of pearl! It's almost over now. A nice little epilogue and then I'm all done. And the epilogue won't be nearly as long as a chapter. For all you Blaise lovers... this one's for you. But for those who don't love her, yeah well... learn.  ::chuckles:: 

Enjoy everyone! 

Title: Getting Out or Dying Trying

Chapter 11: On the Mend

I open the door and I feel for the hundredth time that I quite simply want to collapse.

I am dead tired. There is nothing left in me to give... at all. I never knew that having _certain_ conversations could be so exhausting. I want to sleep. My hands make their way to my eyes and I lift my glasses lazily and set them comfortably in my mop of dark hair as I rub at my sleepy eyes. 

I navigate my way into the room with my eyes covered and a yawn overtakes my mouth.

I begin to stretch my hands over my head while leaning with my back against the door, slowly closing it when something happens that makes me tense immediately.

I feel lips at my neck.

Soft, warm lips and with my eyes still closed I realize exactly who's going to help me get to sleep this post Christmas morning. 

My hands fall from their elevated position and come to wrap around her waist gently. She is wearing an extremely soft sweater and I subconsciously use the feeling as an excuse to let my hands roam along her back and shoulders. I pull her closer and her head of curly locks brush against my nose. 

I inhale the scent of her hair and a wave of tiredness comes over me. I just want to get into a bed and sleep with this girl wrapped in my arms, her legs tangled in my legs...

I groan aloud as her lips come up to kiss the corner of my mouth, along my jaw line and on my cheeks.

I look around the room of requirement and see a dark (nearly black) green couch next to a fireplace. I close my eyes and wish for a bed. Open them and there it is a bed of the same color with what look to be very comfy sheets on it. 

You know, I could really get used to this.

I gently guide Blaise so that she is walking backwards until her knees bend against the mattress of the bed. 

She laughs lightly, "I could have sworn this was a couch a few-"

Her words die on her lips as I capture her mouth with mine. I kiss her with all of the pent up passion, frustration, and confusion that I have felt over the course of the day (well in between my naps). 

And when I pull away I am satisfied to see that she is completely breathless.

As she regains her breathing I look down at my attire. A black sweater and black jeans, I look like I went to a funeral. It doesn't matter though, both fit comfortably, but I want even comfortable clothes to sleep in.

I close my eyes and low and behold when I open them a dresser had appeared. I move away from the bed and go to it. And while Blaise still has her eyes closed (I suppose I am just that good of a kisser) I change out of my dark jeans and into a pair of comfortable sweats.

I am about to take off my shirt when Blaise say, "Well, well, well, I was not aware that the Gryffindors offered free peep shows. I missed the removal of the pants but please do proceed with the shirt."

I start to feel heat developing on my cheeks, but stop the blush before it can reach a Weasley red. I stare at her instead and grab the bottom on my black sweater. She quirks an eyebrow and seems surprised at what I am insinuating. 

'Ah, ah, ah Blaise I am NOT a stripper in case you've forgotten,' I think as I slowly lift one of my hands and gesture her towards me.

She slowly walks closer and fearlessly grabs the bottom of my sweater. My glasses are still nestled in my hair so when she slowly pulls the shirt over my head they stay on the top of my head. 

Blaise seems surprised to find that I am wearing a sleeveless undershirt (wife beater) and I laugh at her expression.

She seems almost embarrassed, and I laugh lightly and pull her body flush against mine. Chuckling into her hair I deliver a series of overly dramatic sloppy kisses to her hair and face and she can't help but laugh with me.

I sigh tiredly and move away from her to sit on the bed and pull off my socks and she says, "Would you like me to leave?"

I stop moving and stare at her for a moment, "Would you like to leave?"

"Not...particularly," she responds carefully.

"So change your clothes," I say "and stay with me here tonight."

She stares at me and seems to be debating over saying something, but I interrupt before she can get out the question I know she is going to ask, "Blaise, no offense love, but I am _way too tired_ to molest you or anything. I just want to sleep and I want you to stay with me."

She smirks but I can tell she is somewhat relieved, "Ah yes and the world revolves around what Harry Potter wants of course."

"Of course," I agree. 

She pulls out her wand and with a swish, flick and a mutter incantation she stands before me dressed in a long sleeved pale green nightshirt and matching pajama pants. There is a small dark green 'S' embroidered on the right side of the nightshirt and I assume that she is wearing the standard Slytherin nightgown. 

Gryffindors had them too, along with a certain incantation as well, but I never really liked sleeping in long sleeves so I don't wear them. 

"Ready then?" I say watching her come slowly closer to the bed, her socks padding lightly on the hard floor.

I look at the cold floor in annoyance and focus once more. Blaise gasps very slightly when a plush off- white carpet appears under her feet. 

She smiles at me and comes over to stand right near the bed on which I am now half lying half sitting. I can tell she is making this a bigger deal than it needs to be so I pull her closer to me whisper in her ear, "This is nothing new ok. We were sleeping in the same bed not so long ago. Nothing has to happen that you don't want to."

She pulls away slightly and narrows her eyes. Then she says, "There were teachers in the Hospital Wing earlier and Madame Pomfrey was right in the next room. I considered all of that before allowing myself to be pulled into your bed."

I smile softly at her, "Blaise, do you trust me?" 

At her _very_ slight nod I continue, "Then relax and come here." 

Finally she lets my hands gently guide her onto the bed next to me. And contentment seems to settle over me along with her. 

After all of my adventures I always cherish the time when I finally get to sleep in a bed outside of the Hospital wing. Nice, soft, warm covers sleeping for as long as I want to. This time I even get someone to enjoy it with me.

I can vaguely hear Blaise whisper something to me, but I can't focus enough to hear it. The world gets sort of hazy around me and I let my eyes shut gently. 

She is facing away from me now, but I can feel her moving a bit closer to me. Using my last bit of strength I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her body against mine. 

I feel my face get hot at the contact of her body all over mine and I finally fall asleep. 

~*~*~*~*~ 

Cold. 

It feel the cold all around me. Surrounding me. I remember falling asleep but feel wide awake now. I keep my eyes tightly shut and feel around me for anything to provide me with desperately needed warmth. 

My hand gropes around me. All I feel are the sheets shifting and I let out a highly frustrated groan. 

Light laughter is what greets me. I scowl, but keep my eyes closed. 

"It's bloody freezing in here," I complain and Blaise offers me no response but to say, "I'm not cold."

"Of course you're not," I mutter irritated, "you live in the bloody dungeons."

She snorts and by now I have gauged that she is somewhere to the left completely off of the bed I am still lying on. 

I finally open my eyes. 

Only to have my pupils assaulted by dark green. I had forgotten that the bed was that color. 

I glace over to the fireplace and notice that the fire which had been cheerfully roaring with crackling orange flames when I had gone to bed had died out during the night and Blaise...

... the girl had the bloody window half open!

"Have you gone completely mad!?" I shout in frustration, "You are going to get sick!" 

I get out of the bed and quickly walk across the plush carpet to where she is sitting on a small bench in front of a beautiful bay style window. It is in the shape of a half oval and it divides into two halves with the latch in the middle. 

Blaise has one of her hands resting on the half of the latch outside the window. I sit down on the bench beside her and reach outside. Placing my hand on top of hers I close the window, taking note of how cold her hand feels.

When the window clicks shut I stare at her, but she is still looking away from me and out the window. 

"It's snowing," I say out loud more to shake her from her oddly serene state than to make a point. 

She obviously knows it is snowing as her hair has flakes all strewn about in it from when the window was open. But I know I have to get her talking. She was in a state similar to this one other time since I've known her and it always means that she is deep in thought about something very important.

The last time she had been like this... well... suffice to say I was lucky that things had ended up well at all.

"Yes, it is snowing," Blaise finally answered and then continued, "It's the Order of the Phoenix isn't it? That's what has been going on? They want you to join them or do something for them, go on some risky mission and give up your life for them?"

"That's where you've been right?" she demanded and the rapid firing of questions caught me so off guard that I couldn't even begin to contemplate giving her answers. First I said, "How did you come to these conclusions?"

"Professor Snape gave me some vague hints," she began as she stood up and started to pace in front on me, "But my dad told me about the Order before. The 'secret organization' tipped off a group of Aurors to search our house right after you brought down Voldemort after the first rise. My father wouldn't have even found out about the damned Order if there hadn't been Death Eaters among the Aurors back then."

My head was spinning. Death Eaters among Aurors? The Order not being quite as secret as I had once believed? This was all getting annoying. Then I realized Blaise was staring me down.

She wanted an answer to something, but I hadn't heard the question.

"Merlin Potter! You're not even listening to me anymore your attention span is so short! I asked you if you are a member of this Order?" she bit out stopping her pacing to look down at me.

"No," I said honestly and I saw the tension in her shoulders relax a bit. "But," I continued, "They want me to be."

She let out some kind of growl and said, "I assume you are going to tell them no."

When I didn't answer right away she put her fisted hands against her temples and the image of the angry Veelas from the Quidditch world Cup came floating back to my mind. 

I thought about what Blaise would say if I told her I was imagining her sprouting wings and fangs like an angry Veela and I couldn't repress a smile.

The next thing I felt was my head being slammed into the window behind the seat I was sitting on. 

"You are SMILING! I can't believe you!" she shrieked. 

"I wasn't smiling beca-" I began but she wasn't even giving me the chance to speak.

"You are such a moron you know that? You are going to run off and get yourself killed all in the name of doing the right thing or some other such bullshit! Well you go ahead, go get yourself killed just like-"

Here Blaise stopped. 

My head was pounding from when she slammed it into the window, but I still had enough energy in me to get mad. "Just like who Blaise? Just like my parents? Is that what you were going to say?"

"NO!" she yelled back at me. "Not everything is about you or your bloody life Potter! Other people died in the last rise too if you'll recall, you arrogant bastard! How many times are we going to have this SAME BLOODY DICUSSION!"

She turned away from me and stalked toward the door. I noted to myself that at some point before I woke up she had changed out of her pajamas. 

I discreetly slipped out my wand and muttered a charm. My socks and trainers reappeared on my feet under my baggy sweatpants just as Blaise reached the door. 

"Fine," I yelled at her back, "Leave, be a coward and run away from every little problem. That's what you are good at isn't it? You have an issue with me joining the Order, but instead of talking about it like a normal person you yell at me and make references to things I know nothing about and then run away! AND if I recall correctly mere hours ago you were inadvertently **encouraging me** to join the Order. What happened to all of that stuff about "facing the music" and good old Snape thinking I was ready? Changing your ideals that quickly Blaise because maybe the situation wasn't about me being "immature," as you so eloquently put it, but about a bigger picture that even now you still can't see all of?"

"I hate that about you Blaise!" I retorted fiercely, "So quick to judge and so slow to stop and listen. If you wanted to know all the information I would tell you, but instead you are walking out before I can even begin. Now remind me, who is acting stupid?" 

Blaise turned around and I don't think I had ever seen her look so angry. 

"Let me remind you Potter, that you are the one actually joining this crackpot Order without knowing all the facts. And if I know things about the Order that you don't should that give you some tiny bit of an indication that those people aren't telling you everything? And now you are throwing my words back in my face when you even admit that I didn't know everything back then. You are INSUFFERABLE! And now I am leaving. Stay the bloody hell away from me!"

"FINE!" I shouted back annoyed. She left the room and I could hear her steps retreating down the hallway. 

But I was so bloody pissed off now. I wanted to sit her down and _make_ her tell me everything she knew about the Order. I wanted her to tell me who she was talking about that 'went and got themselves killed' I wanted her to give me _reasons_ not to join the Order instead of just shouted accusations with insults attached to each. 

And as her footsteps drew father away from me I decided that I was Harry Potter and for once I was going to get what I wanted when I wanted it. 

So I left the room of requirement, and looked to my left then my right.

I discovered that Blaise was walking at a steady but not too fast pace toward the staircase. I ran after her, "ZABINI! STOP!" 

She looked back and me and much to my surprise she started to run toward the stairs. I had expected her not to answer. Or to send a hex my way. Not to actually run away... like the coward I accused her of being.

She sprinted down two flights of steps and kept going down, but she wasn't heading toward her common room. I didn't know where she was going. The hallways were empty and I wasn't really too sure what time it was except that it was early morning.

We were on the main floor of the castle now and I wondered if she was going to run toward the main doors and outside. Thankfully, she didn't and headed in a direction I always presumed to be the vague location of the Hufflepuff common room. 

Faster and faster, my trainers smacking the cold stones with loud slaps again and again and again. 

I was beginning to think she had no destination in mind. I realized I was starting to get tired of running, and decided to run at a full out sprint and just catch her and be done with this.  

I start to go faster when I hear someone yelling something behind me. I couldn't look back for fear that Blaise would use any slight distraction to duck into a side corridor, which I noted there were a lot of around here.

I had only been in this part of the castle a few times and I always avoided because being so close to the Hufflepuff common room always made me think of Cedric. 

There seemed to be more than one yelling voice but I couldn't hear what they were saying as I was sprinting now and drawing closer to the elusive Slytherin every second.

Finally I caught her.

She was still running and I reached out and grabbed her arm. She tried to pry it away by turning sharply into one of the small corridors, but I held fast. There appeared to be some kind of stained glass window at the end of the corridor and there were a few rays of sunlight streaming in through it casting rainbows of light on the entire area. 

Blaise finally stopped sharply, but the momentum of her running and my own caused us to slam into each other- hard.

We fell to the floor and when I opened my eyes I found myself starring straight into the coldest set of brown eyes I had ever seen. Before I could comment, I was yanked roughly off the floor and push against the wall of the narrow corridor. My back pressed against the stunning stained glass window.  

"Potter," I heard McGonagall's voice say, "I don't know what you two think you are doing but don't think that just because it is the holiday that I can't punish you! Running rampant through the halls like that- you could have hurt someone! Have you no sense!" 

I heard the words she was saying, but they didn't really register in my brain. I was watching Blaise. 

Professor Snape was helping her off the ground and I couldn't take my eyes off of her. 

I could see something in her eyes. 

She was giving up on me. I could tell. Somehow I knew. She seemed to have decided I was too much work. She was giving up on whatever the hell it was we had going on. 

I could see it in the way she wasn't even looking at me. I was being written off as a nuisance. Something just too infernal to even bother dealing with.  

That was it. It was over. Just like that. 

And she didn't even have to say a word for me to know it. 

"Mr. Potter," I heard Professor Dumbledore saying, "There needn't be any punishment as no one was hurt, but you should by no means repeat this morning's activities when the school is full of students who may get in the way of your... exercising." 

"You should head back to the Gryffindor Tower and get changed," the Headmaster continued genially, "You may then come back down here for breakfast. There is simply wonderful French Toast today that I know you will enjoy."

I was still not really listening.

Blaise was being lead away by Professor Snape. He was looking at her and seemed to be nodding along with something she was telling him. Then Snape looked back at me and he had on his face the most satisfied expression I had ever seen.

 I wanted him to die. 

"So that's it then," I said scathingly to Blaise who was still walking away nonchalantly. "You're going to leave me when I need you the most. When things are at their worst and I need someone not only to hug and kiss and all that junk, but someone who can sit down with me and help me make choices- this is when you are going to leave? When I need someone who will see the darker side of things I am so naïve about and force me to acknowledge them? When I need you most- that is when you are going to leave?"

I saw her stop walking and Snape's confident steps falter and I knew that I had hit the mark. From the very beginning of our... er- relationship she had always told me that she wasn't someone who date someone for all the "ridiculous soppy stuff." She said she would be there for the bad times if I wanted her to be and now I was calling her on it.    

"Then fine Zabini," I said arrogantly, "you weren't worth my time."

Alright I admit I might have taken that one a bit far. It made her sound like some toy that I had used and thrown aside. 

Add that to the fact that I said that in front of three of the most respected and powerful teachers in the school and I must say I should have seen her reaction coming. 

The next thing I knew a solid punch was delivered straight to my left eye. My glasses shattered and flew off of my face and I hissed as a good amount of glass embedded itself in the skin around my eye. 

But she wasn't done yet. 

She pushed me hard and my head slammed into the stained glass behind it. It took a moment for the Professors to realize what had happened, but once they did they started to try to pull her off me.

Her hands were clawing at my face and I could feel her nails ripping off chunks of my skin. Suddenly I came to my senses and snatched her hands in mid strike away from my face and with some harsh maneuvering wrapped my arms tightly around her- sealing her arms at her sides. 

She was struggling furiously against me, but I could tell that she was getting tired. I wasn't sure where the teachers were now, but I found that as long as they weren't trying to take her away from me I didn't really care that they were nearby.  

Finally, exhausted she looked up at me and said in a tired voice I could hardly stand, "Merlin Harry, what do you want from me?"

I paused. 

I had never really thought of if as me forcing her to give me something... forcing her to give me _herself_. It seemed truly horrible that way. 

I sighed, "Whatever you're willing to give me Lacy. Right now, I'll take whatever you're willing to give."

She stared at me silently before she let out a short sigh and shook her head, "At this point Harry, I think I am close to giving you everything I've got."

I cocked an eyebrow at that. 

I believe she had been about to turn her back on me just a few seconds ago. Where _had all that_ come from?

"Not without a fight mind you," she continued. "If I am putting all of me into this thing we have going on then it's going to be pretty tough."

"We are going to fight and I am going to hate you. I'll say awful things to you and," as she raised her hand from its locked position at her side she whispered, "I am going to make you bleed. Make you cry. Because we aren't always going to agree and I am not going to give in. Not ever. And I know you won't either."

She sighed heavily and continued, "So yes, just now I was thinking that it was going to be too much to deal with. Too much trouble for a silly little Gryffindor. But then you had to go and spout some typical Slytherin dribble to me and remind me that I am not dealing with some silly little Gryffindor. I'm dealing with Harry Potter who is going to hold me to every little thing I say and insult me in ways that make me want to hurt him if I don't _stick with_ every little thing I say. So yes, Harry. I'll give you all of me if you'll give me all of you and promise never to change. Never."

Silence.

I stare at her in amazement for a good couple of minutes, trying at the same time to ignore the throbbing around my left eye. Slowly I shake my head slowly back and forth and state bluntly, "I don't think I knew quite was I was getting into with you."

And much to my amusement, both Snape and Blaise snort at that. 

~*~*~*~

She is staring at me again, and I recognize that look. 

It's the 'you'd better not make me repeat the question' look. Merlin had I seen enough of _that look_ lately. 

I bite my lip hard in thought, "I think the most powerful one you can create is the Ancile Clipeatus Shield which takes the form of a large round dome and encircles the caster and anyone in their immediate vicinity in a hazy golden light. It can only be broken by an Unforgivable, but unlike most other shields it absorbs all the spells shot out it, bar Unforgivables, and uses them to reinforce itself."  

Blaise nods at me and says, "Don't forget that it can be broken by the spell _Finite_ cast by at least three powerful wizards." 

I nod at her words and rub at my eyes tiredly. Glancing at my watch I say, "Do you think we can call it an evening and get some dinner my eyes are getting itchy again from all the dust in here."  

Blaise isn't listening to me though; she is staring at the text in front of her reminding me eerily of Hermione in the rapt expression on her face. 

"Blaise!" I say and the girl finally looks up at me her eyes shining with a bit of excitement. 

I sigh and rub my eyes again, "What did you find?"

She smiles slightly at me and says, "Professor Dumbledore wrote some notes on the side corner of this book about some modifications he made to the Ancile Clipeatus Shield which allows it to even withstand the _Finite_s. It's amazing how much the Headmaster has done. He must have forgotten that he even wrote this in here, it looks really old. He could have the information published and-"

"Well my dear I certainly would have had it published had it been successful," came the voice of Headmaster Dumbledore from a small door to our right.

I look up from the book in my lap I had been glancing at as Blaise had been talking and smile very slightly at the Headmaster. 

It had been about a month and a half since The Crucible and our relationship was still extremely strained, but the old man _certainly was trying_. 

"I came up here to get you two. Dinner will be starting shortly and your friends Mr. Weasley, Ms. Granger, Mr. Nott and Mr. Malfoy have been searching for you two for quite a while now. Not together of course," he said with a sad smile, "Ah, the petty rivalries of youth such effort put into such meaninglessness." 

"But not you two," he said suddenly cheerful once more, "you may very well be the beginning of the end of the Slytherin/Gryffindor rivalry."

I snort at that as I stand up, "Not very likely Professor."

I reach my hand down and help Blaise off the floor of the small circular room. The room, adjacent to the Headmaster's office, was very similar in design to the Headmaster's office except for the hundreds of books lining the walls. 

When I had first entered it I had vividly recalled the room which the Beast had given to Belle in the American Muggle movie 'Beauty and the Beast' I had seen glimpses of when Dudley had gone through his 'Disney phase' as I refer to it. 

The only difference is that this room is smaller... and incredibly dusty. 

I sneezed as I put away yet another large tome and Dumbledore handed me a handkerchief with a bumblebee and a large letter 'A' embroidered on it. 

"Thank you," I said as I dabbed my nose with the cloth reminding myself that _no_ I could not cast a dust removal charm as it could damage some of the older and more delicate books in the room. 

 Dumbledore and Blaise were chatting lightly about Dumbledore's modification of the Ancile Clipeatus Shield when I finished putting the books away. 

"Well, I would love to discuss this with you more as it seems that you have some wonderful ideas on the subject Ms. Zabini," the Headmaster was saying and I was slightly surprised to see Blaise beam at him.

"Thank you Professor, but as for right now I suppose I had better be going." Blaise said graciously, "Harry, however, should probably stay here for a while longer so that no one suspects that we were in your office together. Perhaps the two of you could continue to discuss it."

"Tricky business, this sneaking around," I muttered as I came to stand next to her, blatantly ignoring her suggestion of the Headmaster and I having a civil conversation.

"Not to a Slytherin," she said automatically. "Now don't leave for at least twenty minutes and don't even look in my direction during dinner, last time you did that Draco proceeded to point it out to-"

"The entire table," I finished irritated. "Yes I know, I know. But I couldn't help it."

Blaise smiles at me softly and I kissed her lightly on the forehead, before sneezing yet again. 

The Headmaster chuckled and said, "I believe we should leave the library lest Harry lose a lung, wouldn't you agree?"

I nod as I swipe at my nose with Dumbledore's handkerchief. 

Once we are back in the Headmaster's main office I take a deep breath and sigh at the clean fresh air. Blaise laughs at my dramatization and as I sink into one of the chairs in front of the Headmaster's desk I stick out my tongue at her. 

She moves to stand behind my chair as the Headmaster sits down behind his desk. "Alright," she says quietly, "I'll see you in Potions tomorrow, but mind you don't talk to me. And then on Saturday I'll meet you back here at 12:30, which means you come at 12:00."

I groan and stamp my feet on the carpet like a child, "Yes Blaise I know all this, we've only been meeting in that dust bunny of a library every other day for the past month and a half! I think I can handle it. And I know not to talk to you during classes or in the hallway lest 'Blaise the evil Slytherin' come out to play. For as I have learned she will lash out at me with cruel words that make all her little cronies laugh because no one can know about... this."

We sigh simultaneously. 

Me, because I know I've succeeded in making her feel guilty which always in return makes me feel guilty and she because, well, she feels guilty.

Oh the tangled web we weave. 

Professor Dumbledore clears his throat and says, "I cannot understand why you won't tell anyone about this. They would get over their initial anger in time, or at least once they see you two together. You are obviously in-." 

Just with the beginning of that sentence Blaise and I freeze. That sentence would have finished with a word that we do not say to each other. Not yet. No it's WAY too soon to think that or... say that. Maybe not ever. I don't know where this is going.

Dumbledore seems to know that he has stepped on dangerous ground and cuts off the end of his sentence. The Headmaster then sighs and says, "Very well. Continue to keep your secret, but heed my advice when I say that it is secrets of the heart which fight the most to be revealed. Something you both should consider."

Blaise sighs and runs her fingers through my hair from where she is standing behind my chair. I lean in to the touch and the sides of my lips quirk up when she bends over and kisses the top of my head. 

"Until Saturday," she whispers as she backs away from my chair. A moment later I hear the door open and close and I glace down at my watch. 

5:45

I had thirty minutes to spend with Albus Dumbledore.

Alone.

And not for the first time I wondered why exactly it was that I let Blaise convince me to always leave after her

"So, how are you two doing with your studying?" Dumbledore asks innocently.

Blaise and I had finally (after some pretty loud arguments over the rest of the Christmas holiday) decided that I would join the Order, but only after I did some intense studying. And when you agree to study with Blaise you agree to study like an Auror... or possibly even more. 

Between raiding Dumbledore's private library (which he happened to offer to us the very day we decided on our course of action) and classes I was getting pretty high up on the year's rankings... much to Hermione's baffled surprise.  

And much to the pleasure of all my professors.

"It's ok," I say moderately. In reality it was better than ok. In fact according to Blaise if we continued as we were progressing now I would be ready to be initiated by Valentine's Day. 

How romantic.

Speaking of romance I had no idea what Blaise and I were going to do for Valentine's Day, assuming I wasn't initiated on that day. Bizarre how I now had to think about things like that. 

What kind of holiday was that really? The only Valentine's Day memory I had was one I'd rather forget involving the words "green as a fresh pickled toad." 

Even just thinking about it I shudder. I daresay Blaise would let Valentine's Day go by and let me "forget about it" and not say a word, but then a week later she would hint at the fact that she thought I was an insensitive jerk. 

That's my Lacy. Wonderful as always.

Dumbledore smiles at me and I quickly check my Occlumency shields to find that I am (what I like to call) "leaking" slightly. So he knows about my abhorrence of Valentine's Day.

No big deal, but it still gets on my nerves that he does that... picking my brain.

Dumbledore stares at me for a moment and says, "You know Harry I do believe we've all had Valentine's Days we wish we could forget."

So the bastard admits he was snooping in my head. I am unsure of how I feel about that.

Hum...am I angry? I can't really tell. I think I'm used to it. I focus on tightening my shields...before I realize he is telling me something.

"...Poor Thelma was devastated that I hated her rendition of Ode to Socks, but I of course found it particularly embarrassing that my fondness for comfortable foot apparel had been brought up for the fourth time in a single..." Dumbledore blathered on.

Wait! Ode to Socks?

Let's not go there. I coughed loudly and obviously and Dumbledore's story was cut off. 

"I know you were picking my brain and thus I know that you know that I was thinking of what to do for Blaise for Valentine's Day. Any ideas Professor? You've seen quite a few jours d'amour pass you by. You must have come up with something jaw dropping and heart stopping by now. Lay it on me," I say haughtily more for the attitude effect than anything else. 

And much to my surprise; he does. 

About one full hour later, Dumbledore and I stand next to each other as the revolving staircase leading to his office takes us back down.

I can't keep the smile off my face as the exuberant Headmaster continues to remind me exactly which "easy to make" mistakes to steer clear of when planning my Valentine's Day with Blaise.

His 'Master Valentine's Day Plan' had been attempted by the headmaster on 5 different girls on each very separate occasions, but each time proceeded to fall apart on the poor professor... or in some cases on his date. 

He seemed determined that the same would not happen to me, not that I would make any of those kinds of mistakes any way... honestly after that the sock thing... just ruined it.

I chuckle lightly as he tells me, "Heart adorned socks are a must Harry, an absolute MUST, lest the plan fall apart before you can even finish setting up the roses."

As we head down to the gargoyle below, my cheeks aching from my nearly constant laughter over the past hour, I deem it pretty safe to say that my relationship with Professor Dumbledore is on the mend.   

~*~*~*~*~

Author's (C. Night) Notes: Sorry to the Dumbledore haters, but I had to do it. It's been a while any how, two months is enough brooding time. Dwelling on things is bad for Harry so he won't do that here. Not too much action this chapter. Alright, pretty much none. But the epilogue will be more exciting. And then that's it. Sigh, it's been lots of fun. And all you guys who are both reading and reviewing are simply awesome for sticking with me all this time. I am honestly going to be a lazy bum and not write individual answers to all of your reviews but rest assured that ff.net fixed the problem it was having and I have both read and smiled over every single review. Thank you, thank you, thank you! And do let me know if the whole me not answering this is bothering you as if you want me to I can send you an e-mail answering any specific questions that you have. 

The sequel-ish stories are still open for voting and will be for a while. So I will reiterate them here and there is one extra option now. After some more pondering and some sudden ideas during Pre-Calc I've got a total of five possibilities. Only four are up here for now, as the last one is still a surprise... hehehe. 

 Here we go:

1) Diary of a Tainted Aristocrat- A Blaise Zabini story which would be written from her point of view (1st person). It would begin in the summer before 6th year in which she interacts with good old Cousin Draco, Aunt Narcissa, and of course good old aspiring Death Eater Dad. It would progress into the school year when she becomes potions partners with the one and only Harry Potter. Read as her views crumble beneath her and she and Harry work to build up new ones together. It will NOT be in diary style. 

2) Behind The Crucible- This would be very closely liked with GOoDT and would be the Order's POV on both Harry's testing and reaction. It would start before he actually took the test and would show exactly how it was planned and reveal every single little thing hidden in GOoDT that otherwise you may never know. It would be written in the 3rd person.

3) Through Hell and High Water- A Hermione/Ron story in which we explore their newly developing relationship and see just how JKR's seemingly canon couple will stand against my whims. And we'll explore their reaction when Harry finally fesses up about Blaise and the deeply passionate relationship he is developing with the Slytherin. How will it affect the trio's friendship? And will it cause trouble with Ron and Hermione's relationship? Um... YES! 

4) The Periwinkle Twinkle- a series of narratives revolving around Harry Potter, but from the point of view of Albus Dumbledore. Will include Dumbledore's thoughts at various points in OotP and may continue through to my own story GooTD. Read and discover, as Harry put it, the "warped thought process" of Albus Dumbledore.   

Until Next Time....

**Vote and Revie**w! 

~*~*~*~*~*~


	12. Safe Haven

Author: C. Night

Rating: PG-13

Category: Action/Adventure & Romance (at least for this chapter)

Disclaimer: Anything that you, Harry Potter fan that you are, recognize does not belong to me nor do I claim credit for it. All of the people, places and things of the HP universe belong to a Miss JK Rowling and a whole bunch of other chosen people. Anything you don't recognize, however belongs to me and I would appreciate due credit for it. Thanks. 

A/N: This is the end. Can you believe that? I can't.

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Title: Getting Out or Dying Trying

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Epilogue: Safe Haven

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Sitting cross legged on thinning, faded carpeting, learning slowly, but steadily just how exactly the game "Patty Cake" was played was not exactly what I had anticipated when I joined the Order of the Phoenix. 

But here I was.

"Is it 'Maker's man' or 'Faker's man'?" I asked pretending to look baffled by both phrases.

"NO, silly," the young girl sitting cross from me chided playfully, "It's BAKER'S man! Come ON, Harry, it isn't that hard."

I smiled helplessly at the tiny blonde before me and shrugged, "I'm TRYING Mary, I really am! But I need you to help me more!"

The six year old heaved a playful sigh and said, "Ok, let's try again. Patty Cake, Patty Cake Baker's Man."

I repeated the phrase absently as my eyes grazed the room.

Looking at it you would not even guess that the room I was in was the most secure sector of the Stoanda Magical Research and Development Center. 

Named in honor of the first Minister of Magic who actively supported the creation of new spells rather than outlawed them for their dangerous nature; this was not the first time I had been to the center. 

I had come on one other occasion, during the summer with Professor Flitwick. As I learned that day, and at other points in my magical career, I have a great potential in spell creation, but as it is very dangerous I needed a certain license before I could actively practice spells of my own creation.

That, however, had been when the building was not under attack by Death Eaters. 

Unlike today.  

Alright, well it wasn't under attack anymore. That, unfortunately, had occurred before the Order had known about it. So now we were doing clean up, looking for survivors, and... babysitting.

Ok we weren't babysitting. 

I was babysitting and though I was very mad about it I couldn't exactly take it out on little Mary. Not when she and the other children were anxiously (those who know what was going on anyway) waiting to reunite with their parents. 

Or perhaps waiting to hear that they would not reunite with their parents until the end of their lives.

'Dead. Some of these kids parents,' I thought as I looked around, 'are dead right now and their kids are sitting in here waiting for them, unknowing.'

It was horribly depressing.

But I couldn't be depressed right now. I had to keep these children occupied and right now I was only doing that for one of them.

Telling Mary that we would resume our game later I stood from my position on the floor and said to all the children around me, "So what would you guys like to do?"

I learned a lot about babysitting in that moment. The first thing being that taking suggestions from a room of about 10 different kids of relatively different ages is not so hot of an idea. 

I could feel Professor Dumbledore's eyes on me, but I refused to look up. Not until I was done with the song. 

Nope. 

I was not facing those damned twinkling orbs until I was done with this. Otherwise I would blush and my throat would get all clogged and then I wouldn't be able to finish.

"You are my sunshine my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know dear how much I love you, so please don't take my sunshine away."

I closed my eyes as I held the last note for a little longer than all the others and when I opened them I was pleased to find that the majority of my listeners were snoring.

As I had hoped Mary, Bridget, Isaac, Michael, and Emily (the youngest of all those I had to watch) had been put to sleep by my lullaby.

Each was tucked into their own sleeping bags and pillows conjured by myself. Each sleeping bag had its own unique color and design and after much arguing and pouting I had agreed to sing the five tykes to sleep. 

I don't have a particularly bad voice, but I don't think of my singing as anything spectacular. 

The four older kids I was keeping watch over had been satisfied earlier when I had conjured them up a deck of cards and a huge pile of sweets for them to place bets with. 

Alright so I was encouraging gambling, but I figured they were keeping quiet and that was always a good thing. 

I scanned over my nine charges once again and then glanced at my watch 11:45.

In truth the five tykes should have been asleep much earlier than I had just put them down, but I had wanted to fully tire them out to avoid having to deal with them waking at random points throughout the night. 

Professor Dumbledore cleared his throat and I looked up at him, noting the fact that his robes are slightly sooty and he looks very tired. "Why Harry," he said in a somewhat excited whisper, "I was unaware that you had such a lovely singing voice!"

"Professor," I said irritated, "I hardly think this is the time. Now, is there anything other than this that I can do? I hardly joined the Order to baby-sit."

Dumbledore nodded and said, "As a matter of fact I came to get you for something else. Tonks and Kingsley I am afraid were called away on urgent Auror business unrelated to our situation here. The two of them had been performing the final sweep of the Center, looking for any survivors. So we need you to take that job up now."

I stared at him for a moment before I nodded. This would be fairly dangerous and when I looked into Dumbledore's slightly dulled blue eyes I knew he was worried that I was going to get hurt. 

"Who is going to stay here with...," I wave my hand vaguely indicating all the children in the room. 

Dumbledore smiles and says, "Now that all the young ones are asleep I dare say I will try my luck at poker and see how many chocolate frogs I can gather up."

I smile back and nod when he says, "You will have to do an entire sweep on the bottom floor and go up to the third floor and check the corridor which has a sign that reads, Sense Heightening Labs. As this is one of the most experimental parts of the Center expect there to be some rather heavy wards around the area." 

I nod and adjust my robes absently before I suddenly remember something. I say, "Professor, has anyone been found yet?"

The old mage nods and say, "The parents of most of those in this room have been found and are in intensive care units at St. Mungo's right now. I am planning on telling them right now. However, neither of young Isaac Meloni's parents have been found yet. Nor has the mother of little Mary."

I nod sadly and say, "Well, I'll see what I can do. It was incredibly lucky that the Death Eater's did not come to the children's day center during their raid... or,"

I let the end of the sentence fade into silence and Dumbledore responds, "Yes, but despite the fact that this safe haven was very strategically located near the day care center, there may still be children in the building." 

I nod for the millionth time as I take my wand out of its holster and turn away from Professor Dumbledore to face the door. 

My black boots thump against the floor under me and I focus on the sound they make. I hardly ever wear boots so I find it interesting that they make so much noise. 

Ah, I can't believe I was just contemplating that. 

I open the door and am about to leave the safety of the warded haven when Professor Dumbledore says, "Harry, be careful."

I turn quickly to face him and say, "I always am," with a smirk. 

He smiles back at me, but I think he knows that I have taken his words to heart. 

Careful is good. It has taken me a long time to realize that.

After running through think clouds of soot and smog and putting out random bursts of flames, I am dead tired. 

I inhale deeply and immediately start coughing. Soot fills my lungs and it takes me a moment to remember the incantation for a lung purification spell. Immediately after casting it I put up an air filter spell around me and enjoy the feeling of cool, clean air in my lungs. 

The spell only lasts for 20 minutes, but it should give me time to do a pretty quick scan of the rest of this floor. 

And then I was going to have to stop. 

I was getting pretty tired and one of the beads on my Chaos bracelet was getting warmer and warmer every minute.

It was telling me that Dumbledore wanted me back. It had been growing steadily warmer for the past half hour and I knew that if I didn't start to head back the old worry wart was going to leave the kids alone for a bit and come looking for me himself.  

But I was angry. I hadn't found anything. Nothing except for char covered pieces of furniture and smog covered laboratory equipment. Alright, that wasn't really true. I had found something else. 

Bodies.

Dead bodies that I had to cast cleansing spells on and then strap portkeys to in order to transport the bodies to the mortuary underground section of St. Mungos. 

It was a horrendous feeling to see a body and think you may have found someone to save, a life to spare only to find that the person had already passed away.

It always successfully made me feel like a complete failure. And it had happened four times already. 

It was probably the reason Professor Dumbledore wanted me to come back to the safe haven. He didn't want me to become depressed by the fact that I couldn't save anyone here.   

I do not have a hero complex. I don't NEED to save people, it is just preferable, I thought as I walked brusquely through the section of the building Dumbledore had specifically told me to visit.  

I can barely make out the words 'Sense Heightening Labs' in what I am sure was once a gleaming white paint over the entrance to the corridor. 

I walk brusquely through knocking down ward after protective ward getting closer to the actual labs. I take a step forward and hear something snap under my boot. Then a loud shrill beep sounded down the corridor.

I felt ridiculously self-conscious. My breathing was starting to become labored and my eyes were darting around frantically. 

What did that beep mean?

I wasn't sure, but since it had stopped I decided to press on. The bead on my bracelet was growing disturbingly hot.

The labs looked almost like a cross between the Potion's classroom and the room in which I had taken Science when I was 10. 

Sectioned off into different areas by cubicle-esqe walls I didn't look around at the scenery too much. I was focused on the two women who seemed to be sprawled on the floor- immobile. 

I rushed over to them and felt for pulses, trying not to get my hopes too high. But the first one I felt had a pulse!

I felt nearly deliriously happy as I rummaged through my pockets for a portkey that would take this woman to the intensive care unit of St. Mungo's and once I found the blue marble I shoved it into her hand.

She opened her eyes very briefly at the exact moment the portkey left and I knew that this very lucky woman who had astoundingly not been hit by an Avada Kedavra was the mother of a pretty little girl who loved Patty Cake. 

I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face, but I paused when I remembered that there was still one more woman here I hadn't looked at yet. 

She had dirty blonde, straight hair and her arms were splayed at her sides. I couldn't see her face as her stomach was against the ground. 

I felt for a pulse immediately, but my fingers were shaking so badly I couldn't tell.

I quickly cast a simple 'Infliction Verification' spell and felt my heart sink when a bright green light appeared around the woman.

She was dead. By the same spell that took my parents.

I turned her over as a tiny tear trailed down my cheek and was horrified to find that her eyes were still open.

They were an apple green color that I had never seen in someone's eyes before. 

My fingers gently closed her magnificent eyes and I closed my own for a moment. Sending a prayer up to any God there ever was or ever would be to forgive me for not finding some way to help all these people.

'Alright, perhaps I do have a hero complex,' I thought as I placed a forest green marble in the hand of the dead woman and activated it. 

The burning of the bead on my bracelet was too much now. 

I had to go back.  

Sitting in the carefully warded and very high security intensive care unit of St. Mungos, I had never felt more out of place.

Dumbledore had asked me to help him take al the children whose parents had worked in the Stoanda Magical Research and Development Center to St. Mungos to the hospital to see their parents and in some cases file the papers declaring them orphans and putting them up for adoption.

I walked around the crowded wing carefully with a small clip board and pencil (so much easier than a quill and inkwell) taking down the names of all the family members who came to visit the injured or comfort those who had lost loved ones in the attack. 

I looked down at my lime green healer's robes and rolled my eyes. The only way Professor Dumbledore could come here and still keep the secrecy of the Order was to disguise ourselves as Healers. 

Of course those who actually worked here knew we weren't Healers but they had been briefed by their superiors, who knew about the Order (some where even members who had set up all the portkeys) not to ask questions. 

I approached a young woman with light brown hair and asked her name and who she was waiting for.

I received the typical response and looked down my list to reassure her that yes so-and-so was indeed in the hospital and that he was doing fine. 

This was the Stability Phoenix part of the deal. All the boring dribble that had to be dealt with by someone. 

I pulled my little lime green Healer's hat over my scar for the 60th time when I _thought _I felt eyes on me.   
  


This was not the time for autographs or gawking mobs, so I was keeping a low profile.

It was about 3 o'clock in the morning when most people had already cleared the wing to either get some rest in order to be energized to visit the next day, or left to grieve elsewhere. 

I let myself sink into a plush chair in the wing and closed my eyes. 

And then I felt a little hand tugging at my sleeve. Opening my eyes I found tiny little boy who looked at be about four years old staring at me. 

The young boy was wearing hospital robes, but seemed to be perfectly fine in just glancing at him.

"Mister, can you find my mummy for me?"

I stared at him, confused before the boy sniffed and added, "Please?"

Furrowing my brow I said, "How would you like me to do that?"

The boy stared at me and laughed lightly, "Your paper silly! It's the _People_ _Finder _Paper."

I looked at the boy hard for a moment before remembering his name. He had been in the safe room with me for a while several hours ago. His name was Isaac and if I recalled correctly....

"I'm sorry Isaac, but I don't think I will find your Mum or Dad on this sheet." 

"NO," he said loudly, "That's not true! You did it for evewyone else. They come to you and say, 'Where is Mr. Jormshen?' and you say, 'Over in the Cuwse Woom.' And they say, 'Oh thank you, thank you.' You did it for them why not for me?!" 

I was caught between laughing at the boy's uncanny recitation of a conversation I had had about 20 minutes earlier (and his amazing imitation of Mrs. Johanson's and my own voice) and crying at the fact that staring at this boy's apple green eyes I knew that his mother was not on my list. 

I tiredly opened my arms to the boy, whose eyes had filled with tears and said, "I'm sorry Isaac, I really am. I know what it's like to feel alone, but you will go live with some other relatives now, okay?"          

The young boy did not respond, so I just rubbed his small back repeatedly until I felt his trembling stop and his breathing settle in slumber.

It was then that I flipped through the pages on my clip board and found under the heading 'Deceased' the names Eric and Melissa Meloni.

All alone, I thought. This little boy is all alone. The mere thought made me hold him to me much tighter than I had before. 

And I made a promise to myself that I would do something to help this kid. I didn't know what, but I was going to do something. 

No one should be that alone. 

Walking through the rain with Professor Dumbledore, I felt ridiculously tired.  

It was 8 o'clock in the morning and after spending hours in St. Mungos doing everything we could for what seemed like hundreds of people, we had finally called it a night (er.. morning) and apparated to the edge of the Forbidden Forest. 

I had my Order robes back on which repelled the rain that was steadily falling, but I hardly even noticed. 

One foot in front of the other I was just making my way back to the school. I wanted to close my eyes and forget the bodies, the tears, the lists and lists of injured and dead people. I wanted to drown out the cries of children and mothers alike at the news of their deceased loved ones. 

I especially wanted to forget the look on Isaac's face when I finally told him that his parents weren't coming back and more than anything else I wanted to forget the sound of the 'Emergency Contact' officer's voice when he told me that little Isaac had no living family members and was going to have to be adopted by strangers.

I wanted to FORGET, damn it. 

I walked faster at the thought, trying to get to my bed even more quickly. 

I was so distracted I hardly even noticed when I bumped into someone right outside the Hogwarts gates. I did notice that Dumbledore gave me a small smile before he continued through the gates and into the school, leaving me outside.

I stood up wiping mud from my robes with one hand offering my other to the person I had knocked over.

I felt a smaller and softer hand fall into mine and pulled the person upright, muttering an apology as I started to walk away.

"Oh, so the big Order member has no time to even greet me anymore. I am wounded," I heard the voice of the person I had knocked over say as I walked away.

I turned quickly and faced Blaise guiltily, "Sorry," I muttered, "I'm kind of distracted."

"Um- hum," she said as she looked me up and down. "I do believe that's true."

I turn away from her and say, "I'll talk to you later, as it's _too dangerous_ for us to be out here together. Too many windows and all that. And plus I really need to sleep."

She stares at me before saying, "I think you should stay. You need to be..."

I stare at her, "I need to be what?"

Her brown eyes narrow and she says, "I don't know. You look like you need to be... cleansed or purified or something... I guess."

It was the first time I had even heard her stumble over her words and it got my attention immediately. 

"And how do you suggest I _cleanse_ myself?" I say seriously with the tiniest of a mocking lilt to my voice. 

"Well, Harry," she scoffed, "It is raining isn't it."

I laugh, "Are you suggesting that I take a shower in the rain or something? Isn't standing in it enough?"

She looks at me seriously, "You are not standing it the rain seeing as that interesting robe appears to be repelling all the raindrops." 

I smirk at her, forgetting my previous concerns, and come to stand closer to her, "What do you want me to do?"

"You know," she answers, "Blue was never really your color."

I get her gist immediately and pull the water-resistant robe off over my head. Under it I am wearing a black sweater and khakis, both of which immediately get wet.

The water flows in cool, tiny rivulets in my hair and down my face. I sigh as the water's pounding calms me and I close my eyes. Oddly enough I do feel somewhat cleansed by the whole process and lift my face to face the crying clouds. 

After standing like that for a moment I open my eyes and see much to my amusement that Lacy, who had previously just been standing in the rain was now twirling around the grass with her hands stretched out on either side of her.

She looked like a six year old playing in the rain.

Her hair was hanging in wet locks around her face when she finally stopped spinning and held her arms out to me.

Needing no more invitation or explanation for her uncharacteristically childish behavior, I stepped into her open arms and immediately felt ok with everything.

I realized then that I had found my safe haven. And just like the only secure room in the Stoanda Center I knew she would keep me safe and sane no matter what. 

8:17am on March 12th.

You would think that was an ordinary time of day, an ordinary day of the year. Minus the whole approaching Saint Patrick's day and all that jazz right?

Wrong. 

For it was that moment when I, Harry Potter, realized that I needed nothing more in life than this precious girl whose arms I was in.

It was in that minute, in that moment, that I knew that no matter what life decided to throw at us- we could handle it.

We could handle anything together. I mean, come on, we were Harry Potter and Blaise Zabini... 

As if there was ever any doubt. 

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               THE END

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Author (C. Night) Notes: I can't believe that's the end. Whew! It's over! I feel sad. Ah well, it was loads of fun and I hope you liked it. Thank you, to each and every reviewer and to each and every reader (I am hoping there are lots of those). Thanks for sticking through all the evil cliff-hangers and tons of unanswered questions. This is the end of the line. To one and to all, don't forget to vote for your favorite sequel choice, but right now I am definitely leaning toward Diary of a Tainted Aristocrat. So for your reading pleasure (and a nice little farewell from me to all of you) I included a bit of a **sneak preview** of a scene I wrote the other day from that story (it's **at the very end of this page**). And the final choice for a sequel is up, it's called The Way of the Phoenix and I think most of you will vote for it. So I might write those two stories. Think I should change my mind? Well then let me know in a review. God bless all you guys for giving me a bit more confidence in my writing.  

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The sequel-ish stories are still open for voting and feel free to change your mind or vote for more than one. All five are up now.  Here we go:

1) Diary of a Tainted Aristocrat- A Blaise Zabini story which would be written from her point of view (1st person). It would begin in the summer before 6th year in which she interacts with good old Cousin Draco, Aunt Narcissa, and of course good old aspiring Death Eater Dad. It would progress into the school year when she becomes potions partners with the one and only Harry Potter. Read as her views crumble beneath her and she and Harry work to build up new ones together. It will NOT be in diary style. **(Will contain the missing Valentine's Day scene from GooDT and the very beginning of the Harry/Blaise relationship.)**   

2) Behind The Crucible- This would be very closely liked with GOoDT and would be the Order's POV on both Harry's testing and reaction. It would start before he actually took the test and would show exactly how it was planned and reveal every single little thing hidden in GOoDT that otherwise you may never know. It would be written in the 3rd person.

3) Through Hell and High Water- A Hermione/Ron story in which we explore their newly developing relationship and see just how JKR's seemingly canon couple will stand against my whims. And we'll explore their reaction when Harry finally fesses up about Blaise and the deeply passionate relationship he is developing with the Slytherin. How will it affect the trio's friendship? And will it cause trouble with Ron and Hermione's relationship? Um... YES! 

4) The Periwinkle Twinkle- a series of narratives revolving around Harry Potter, but from the point of view of Albus Dumbledore. Will include Dumbledore's thoughts at various points in OotP and may continue through to my own story GooTD. Read and discover, as Harry put it, the "warped thought process" of Albus Dumbledore.

5) The Way of the Phoenix- a series of narratives from the point of view of the ever-daring, ever- amazing, temperamental and yet soothingly adorable Harry Potter. Each chapter representing one of Harry's exploits with the Order of the Phoenix, of which he is now a member. From meetings to missions to four year olds with nose bleeds to Voldemort with elemental powers; what will the Order cook up for Harry to do during the non-existent downtime of his 6th year? If you like my action sequences and "Harry-centric" stories- this one's for you. 

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**And now because I like you all so very much and you are all so very lucky you get a parting gift from me to you!**

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*Sneak Previews* from Diary of a Tainted Aristocrat- (Blaise's POV)  
  


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**Scene 1**:

I walk into Potions class about 25 seconds before the bell. I don't like to be early. It gives people too much time to think about me. They see me sitting and wonder things about me. 

And too much mental stimulation is not good for my peers. It makes them start little rumors about me to make up for their ignorance which then leads to me having to cast a series of memory-wiping spells.

Way too much exertion when it can all be avoided. 

When you sneak in right before the bell, only the people you want to see you can find you, no meaningless talking with the insignificant beings I call classmates to bother with as the bell is always about to ring when I make my entrance.   
  
My eyes immediately travel to Draco who, of course, is sitting with Crabbe and Goyle. It annoys me to no end to see him with those two buffoons, but Lucius told his precious son to talk with them and make friends with them, so he did.  
  
Nothing I can say could ever possibly sway him. A fact that has always annoyed me.  
  
Draco never says anything about it, but I know that he realizes their significance. His father wants him to have protection among the Death Eaters. Even now the two goons protect him from everything from Potter, to the Weasel, to even me, when I ever get the urge to throw a solid right hook in his direction.   
  
The two will always put Draco first and will forever be more loyal to him than anyone else- including the Dark Lord.  
  
My eyes glaze over the classroom disinterestedly and I see the typical brave Gryffindors who dare to sit in the front of the room, tempting my dear Professor Snape to take points merely because they are breathing in his classroom.  
  
Absolute morons. Why antagonize the overly antagonistic? They never did have any logic.  
  
My eyes shift to Pansy Parkinson and her favorite lackeys Lucille Moon and Millicent Bulstrode the three of whom are all making eyes at my dearest cousin Dray. Every now and then (just about every 2 seconds) Pansy catches one of the two drooling and shudders in disgust.  
  
That girl never had the best taste in friends. One of the many reasons I would never be caught talking to he in public. In private, on the other hand, I have found that she knows some rather good ironing charms and hair curling incantations. 

Even seemingly useless people have their abilities. That's what I've learned from her.   
  
And finally I see Herbert Avery sitting somewhat near Julius Nott.  
  
Julius stares at me for a moment, while still giving off the impression that he not looking at me but through me, and inclines his head very slightly.   
  
I am surprised, Julius is never this friendly.   
  
I smirk at him and make my way over to the open seat in between the two Slytherin boys. On my way to the seat Ronald Weasel glares at me with a passion I had been pretty sure he was saving for the Mudblood all of these years.   
  
The moron probably doesn't even know my name and yet he hates me with a furious and disgusted kind of ardor. I work to suppress a smile.  
  
The crest on my robes is an instant Gryffindor repellent and I absolutely love it.   
  
   


**Scene 2**:   
  
He slams his bag down angrily on the table his two bookends glare at me angrily with what I can easily recognize as slightly restrained hatred in their eyes.   
  
Whew look at those glares! Did I ever steal the last chew toy from the lion's den! What's a Slytherin to do?  
  
They think they are bad, but when I turn the full strength of my glare on the two they both divert their eyes quickly and I am able to look back down at my Potion's book.   
  
I can hear them whispering like little mice in the corner of a room to their leader who seems to dismiss them with some typical reassurances. The bushy haired little brat kissed his cheek and the gangling carrot stick ruffles the boy's already hideously out of order hair.   
  
Ah yes these are true friends. Transmitting their saliva to each other's faces and ruining good hair days.   
  
Now I truly understand the Gryffindor bond of a lifetime.   
  
I snort to myself and note that the Price of all that is Good and Righteous is sitting down. His hands land somewhat near my book as he pulls out a chair with his foot and slowly sits down.   
  


I am not looking at him. I am still reading.  

  
Silence takes the library within her clutches and holds tight. I note systematically that there are a few very quiet second year Ravenclaws in the corner and that Madam Pince is not at her desk.

I also note that the Price of Gryffindor sitting across from me is staring at me. I continue to read- let the bastard study Potions on his own. I refuse to debase myself my talking to him. 

I'd like to think I'm above that. 

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Author (C. Night) Notes : Did you like it, hate it? Let me know. And yes this is indeed the same Blaise Zabini who was twirling around in the rain at the end of GooDT. Like to find out exactly how she underwent that drastic change in character? Vote for Diary of a Tainted Aristocrat. 

Until the next time 

I make my presence known 

in fanfiction land

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**Thanks for reading! **


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